Special Inbree-delivery
by AwfulWhy
Summary: [Complete] News reports have spread of people's DNA being combined, grown into babies somewhere and then delivered at home. When Loud family discovers one of the babies dropped off on their porch with a note that says who the parents are, it sends the family into turmoil. Features Sin Kids. Rated T as there's no sexual content or even no serious romantic content between siblings.
1. Prologue

**Author's note:**

 **If you don't know who "sin kids" or "abomination"s are, just look up but be warned. Let's just say that more popular sin kids include Lupa Loud, Loan Loud, Lacy Loud and Lemy Loud.**

 **This story is about more how they were delivered and family's reactions to them rather than interactions between them and OCs. It also doesn't focus on those who are behind these 'abominations'.  
**

Chapter 1: Prologue

It was your average evening in the house, Rita was reading a newspaper.:

""Another designer baby found at a doorstep. DNA tests proved the parentage." Who does such things?"

The family has heard about news reports. Several families in the state of Michigan have found a baby secretly delivered in front of their doors with a note. The note only told them the gender of the baby, who their parents are, their extraction date, whatever that meant, and the initiative to take DNA test in case they were not sure. Those parents who took the tests found out that they were legitimate parents indeed.

"Who could be behind this?"

"The only person I could suspect is Lisa!"

Lisa was quick to defend herself. "My research regarding human infants is insufficient for permanent experiments."

Lisa had a point. She might have been a genius, she could create monsters, explosions and various devices. However, almost none of those experiments and devices lasted more than a few days. Most of them lasted for only a few moments.

"Hopefully we don't get one of those babies. Our house already has thirteen people. How many more could we fit?"


	2. Doorstep

Chapter 2: Doorstep

A few days later, the family had woken up, eating breakfast and getting ready for school.

"I'll get the newspaper."

Lana raced out of the door to fetch a newspaper. However, when she got out, she saw something unusual.

She opened the door and announced "People are rude! Somebody left a paper at front door that says "SEX F""

Her head disappeared from view again before family could reply but the head soon returned. "The paper has a blanket with a baby attached."

"What?"

Luan stood up. "I'll check it out."

Luan opened the door and took a peek. Lana was right. There was indeed a note with a newborn baby wrapped in a blanket attached to it. Baby was currently sleeping. Luan looked at the note and started to read:

"Sex: F. Mother: Lori Loud. Father: Lincoln Loud" Then there was an "Extraction date" that indicated that the baby was just a three days old. Finally a sentence "You can take a DNA test if you want to be sure.". No indication about who sent the thing.

Luan double-checked the names. Oh no! Was that really true?

Luan went inside with Lana and announced:

"I have some more important news. How do I say it?"

The family turned their heads towards her. Luan continued:

"You know those newspaper reports lately about babies being delivered to doorstep? Well...there's some news I have to...deliver then."

She disappeared outside again and came back with a baby.

"Well, according to this note here..."

Her expression went serious:

"Lincoln and Lori, congratulations! You are now father and mother!"

The kitchen went silent. Lynn junior spat out the water she had gulped.

"Come again?"

"That's what's on the note: Sex: Female, Mother: Lori Loud, Father: Lincoln Loud."

Kitchen was still silent while everyone stared at the baby in a blanket. Then Leni opened her mouth:

"You mean, Lincoln and Lori are father and mother now? But that's great news! Congratulations!"

She hugged Lincoln who was still had to process the situation he was in. When Leni hugged Lori, she pushed Leni away!

"Don't touch me!" Lori had gathered herself. "You are telling me that I had a child...with my brother?"

"That's what the note says.", confirmed Luan.

The rest of the family started to understand the gravity of the situation.

A few of them went "Ewwww!" Lori even went on to say "That's literally the vilest thing happened to me."

Luna wasn't sure. "Luan, are you sure this is not one of your pranks?"

"No. I am honest. This time it was not my prank."

Rita was clearly furious. "What kind of a...sick person would do such a thing?".

Lynn sr agreed as well: "If I'm going to find the person who did it, I'm going to...I'll think of what I would do with that person later."

Lincoln himself did not know what to say..."But...I'm so young! I'm so young! Why me? Why with her?"

Lana was confused. "What's so bad? It's a baby and our family has had lots of them."

Lisa started to explain: "When there are mutations in gamete's DNA and these mutations have recessive trait, they are not immediately expre..."

Luna cut her off: "Basically, what she means is that if two close relatives have a child, there is a high chance that the child is a freak."

"Really? That's awesome!"

"No. Not that kind of a freak! A bad kind of freak!". Then the baby woke up.

The family stopped arguing and gathered around her.

"Umm...hello?" Lincoln picked up the baby. He tried to think of something smart to say. "Ummm...welcome to our big family. Sorry about the mess."

The baby smiled.

"Um...Lori? Can you hold a baby as well?"

Lori was not very happy. "Holding that...abomination? No way!"

Rita stepped in "Lori, according to that note, you are her mother!"

"Alright, mom."

Lincoln handed the newborn baby to Lori who reluctantly held her.

"Ok I'm done." She quickly handed baby to Lynn sr who looked at her. He didn't know what to say so he sighed.

"Umm...can everyone else line up?"

As the eagerness and reluctance to hold a baby varied, a queue was formed in more orderly fashion than usual and everyone took turns to hold her, except Lily who just said "Baby!" and poked her once. While this was happening, Lynn jr quickly ran upstairs to bring a smartphone, snapping a few photos of a new family member in a process. Rita and Lynn senior meanwhile were hatching an emergency plan. Things had happened so quickly and unexpectedly.

Rita finally had a plan ready. "Listen up, kids. Due to...exceptional circumstances, no one leaves the house today unless I say so!"

Kids were clearly upset. Lynn even went "Oh come on! We didn't do anything!"

"This includes no school today!"

Kids were no longer upset.

"Here's what's going to happen. I am going to call teachers, letting them know that you are absent today. I am also going to call the police and doctors. In addition, me and Lynn senior are going to be absent from work as well. Your dad is going to go outside to buy supplies. Meanwhile, you go and check if baby's health is ok and there is nothing wrong about her. Check her reflexes as well. Also, find any news articles about recent cases of doorstep babies. Finally, check the Internet about what to do."

Luan replied: "If you...incest!" Family groaned. "I will check the news." and she went upstairs.

Lucy was also ready to follow her. "I'll go upstairs as well. I will check some of the dark fates of those unfortunate souls whose path of life started like this."

Rita then turned to Lincoln and Lori.

"As for you, two. I will check if you can get parental leave."

"Mom, why did this happen to us?"

Lori was still furious.

"I already have a boyfriend and now some numbnut just decided to humiliate us by experimenting with me and my brother! My relationship may be probably ruined! My future career is literally ruined! Now everyone is going "Hey! Look at that incest girl who had a daughter with her 11-year old brother!""

Lincoln tried to calm her down. "Calm down. It could have been much worse."

"Much worse? My life is already literally over!"

"Come on. At least we didn't have a child using..." Lincoln shuddered "...traditional methods."

Rita replied, "If this had happened, I wouldn't even want to know what I would have done to you two! Well, except forcing Lori to get an abortion."

Lynn sr. had gotten himself ready in the meantime. "Bye honey and children! I'll be back in an hour or so. Hopefully." And out of the door he went. "Hey! A newspaper is still here! I think I'll take that with me."

That made Lana go "Whoops! Sorry! Forgot."

Meanwhile, some of the the kids had unwrapped the infant to check for any obvious health issues.

"Eww, gross! There is skin between her toes!", Lola announced.

"Guess that confirms it. Lori had webbed toes as well when she was born. At least her head shape is normal, unlike Lori."

"Hey!"

Lincoln tried to ask something relevant again. "Mom, will I become a good father?"

"I...don't know. But since you have taken the situation better and if this continues, you may certainly become better parent than Lori."

Lisa intervened: "Requesting samples from offspring DNA. Since I are already in possession of DNA of the entire family unit, I can confirm the parentage from quick deoxyribonucleic acid test by comparing my already collected samples."

Rita was hesitant. However, situation was exceptional. While newspaper reports and look at the baby both counted towards the evidence that this was a real deal, it couldn't hurt to confirm.

"Only in one condition: That you use that DNA only to confirm if Lincoln and Lori are indeed parents and nothing else."

"Affirmative. I just need a sample from offspring's hair."

"I'll get the scissors then."

"Scissors not needed. Majority of hair does not contain deoxyribonucleic acid. I request a hair follicile."

"Alright. Ok, I'm off to call teachers to inform them why you all are absent today."

Rita then picked up the phone and started calling. Meanwhile, Luna announced:

"At first look, it seems that we are lucky. Aside from her webbed toes, she's a perfectly healthy!"

Family felt relieved, some even went "Phew!".

Lisa stepped in. "Excuse me. I need to gather a sample for confirming the parentage of the offspring. My apologies." Lisa plucked out one of the blond hairs of the infant who then started crying. "I will be moving in my room. Parentage results should be announced within an hour or so." She also disappeared from view.

Leni picked up the baby. "It's going to be ok. It's going to be ok. Don't cry now." Baby calmed down significantly.

Lincoln and Lori looked at each other.

"So...what is going to happen now?"

"What do you think what's going to happen now? My life is literally going to be over! That's what's going to happen!"

"But you are almost an adult! I'm just eleven! I am probably the youngest father...in the world! My life is going to change even more."

Lincoln was right. He continued,

"So how are we going to treat our daughter? As parents or siblings?"

"Treat her as you wish. I would rather not deal with this...abomination."

"Don't say that! She's not an abomination! She is perfectly fine. See?"

"She has deformed toes!"

"So did you when you were born. And her head shape is normal, unlike what you had when you were born."

Lola intervened "So Lori was a bigger abomination than this child?"

"Hey! I am not an abomination! I was born normally, from my mother's belly and I have...let's see... four grandparents, not two!"

Rita had just finished her calls to her employer, teachers, police and doctors.

"Lori, do you want to be treated like a responsible adult?"

"Yes, mom."

"Then act like a responsible adult! Lincoln is taking the situation better than you are. And he is eleven! Within several months, you will turn eighteen which means that you will become your daughter's legal guardian."

Lori looked down.

"I'm Sorry."

Rita continued: "Lincoln, Lori, would you like a crash course for taking care your new daughter?"

* * *

Living in a family with so many kids did come in handy. As Lincoln and especially Lori had taken care of their younger siblings before, the crash course went much smoother than even they expected and felt more like a successful exam. It went almost without a hitch.

Lynn jr had just finished printing pictures she took earlier. Luan then printed all news articles she managed to find.

"I found out that..."

Everyone jumped.

Lucy continued "...people who found out that their parents were relatives after the passing of their childhood had hard time accepting it and suffered a lot. I read some accounts."

"I shall keep that in mind.", replied Rita.

A door opened.

"I'm home!" Senior Lynn had arrived.

"Hello!" came from living room. Lynn senior walked in with bags containing milk with, a bottle and hygiene supplies. He started unpacking the stuff.

"I also bought a baby book. That's going to be a heck of a birth story to write."

Lori agreed. "That's going to be family's first. Also, can you leave a first few lines blank? We don't know how where the baby's first three days. Well, at least my daughter's birth story is not as hard to believe as Lincoln's with the presi..." Lori stopped.

"Wait? Lincoln, did we tell you that the information about your birth is highly classi..."

"Dad! Don't blame him! We found out that on our own. Anyway, I'm glad you bought extra milk because I found out that...well...I don't have any."

"Well, probably because you weren't anticipating a child."

Lisa arrived with a tablet to announce results. Her smartphone had an app that showed some figures and data not really readable to a non-scientist.

"Results are in. After comparing offspring's DNA to the DNA of the entire sibling and parental unit, I can confirm with 4-sigma confidence that Lincoln Loud and Lori Loud are indeed biological parents of the suspected inbred offspring."

Any hope that it was just a prank, disappeared.

Lori's anger had transformed into acceptance. "Fine. I'll...try to take care of her."

Lincoln went "I'll try my best as well."

There was a knock on the door.

"Coming!" Lynn senior opened the door. They found out that the police and doctors have arrived simultaneously. Since the case wasn't urgent, only two of each had arrived.

"Hi. I'm from Royal Woods Police Department. What seems to be the case?"

"Another doorstep baby. Step in."

Police and doctors entered the house.

"It's the tenth such case already." said one of the policemen.

Lola got scared. "Police? We didn't do anything wrong!"

Doctors and police took a look at the living room with all the children. They turned to parents:

"Is this a kindergarten or are these all your kids?"

"These are indeed our children. Yes, we have been...busy but we have managed to take care of them. And this smallest one here is the case I called you. Lincoln, can you hand your daughter to doctors?"

Lincoln did what requested.

One of the doctors was curios. "His daughter? So she is your...son's daughter?"

"I'm afraid so."

"He doesn't even look like he's at the age where he could have children. Did the note you receive tell who the mother is?" One of the policemen asked.

"Yes. Our eldest daughter. That one". Lynn senior pointed at Lori.

"Jeez! So the baby's parents are siblings?"

"Yes."

"I think I'm going to be sick! Previous cases have been between married couples with children, infertile couples, friends, strangers but in one case indeed, cousins. But between siblings, one of who is underage? That's a new low! Unfortunately, whoever delivers those babies has so far covered their tracks very well. We haven't yet found any trace of who might be behind this. I don't expect to find anything here either."

"The only thing that we have are a note and a blanket." Children, where did you put the note and a blanket? Police needs to examine them."

"Here!" Lynn jr was the first to hand a note while Luna handed him a blanket.

Doctor asked: "Have you checked the health of the baby yet? With relatives that close, hereditary diseases are common."

Rita replied: "Children checked her and her reflexes. Aside from webbed toes that are probably going away soon anyway, she seems to be alright. It wouldn't hurt for you to check as well just to make sure."

Doctor started examining the baby. Lynn senior asked the second doctor:

"The note said that so-called 'extraction date' was three days ago. Does that mean that this date goes on my granddaughter's birth certificate?"

"I suppose so. I'll be sending the data to Michigan Vital Records Office."

"But I don't know where she was..."extracted", whatever that means."

"We can just use the location where she was found: Royal Woods, Michigan."

Lincoln suddenly addressed the doctor."Umm...sir?"

"Yes?"

"Will I and Lori get parental leave?"

Doctor was surprised "Umm...yes. I suppose so. Three months, both of you."

"Awesome!"

Lori agreed. "I need that time off as well."

Rita noted them: "But don't think you two can just become couch potatoes!"

"Let me think. It means homeschooling and helping to take care of my daughter?"

"Precisely."

Doctor finished examination. "It seems that you got lucky. Baby is indeed in good health. Shall we come back later to take DNA tests?"

"Well, we already conducted one. Let's just say we already have homemade equipment, one of our child is gifted and has already found out that that Lori and Lincoln are indeed biological parents. Maybe we will give DNA samples to you later."

Police "I think it's best if we'll take the note and blanket to look for evidence. Shall we return them if we're done?"

"Well, if you insist.". Rita handed them the requested items.

"Anyway, we'll be gone now. We'll contact you if we find anything."

Doctors also were done. "Now that we examined examined and registered your new child, we'll be leaving as well."

"Bye!" and "Goodbye!" said the family as those four people left the house. The house fell silent again.

"So, what do we do now?" asked Lucy. Some people jumped.

"I know!" Leni grabbed her smartphone. "Linky and Lori, can you hold a baby together and smile?"

"I literally don't want to smile right now!"

"Come on, Lori. There is a new member of a family. I know she arrived without warning but still, she deserves better."

"I suppose." and she started holding baby with Lincoln!

"Now smile!"

Lori and Lori both forced a smile on their face and the photo was taken.

Leni checked the picture. "It's too dark. Can you turn the lights on?"

Luna informed Leni about her mistake. "Actually, you should do another picture without the finger in front of the camera."

"I'm sorry." Leni took a picture correctly that time. Leni looked at the photo and said "You three look great! Like a small family! See?"

Lori disagreed. "We look like Lori is with a brother and daughter rather than two parents with their child!"

"Well, Lori IS with a brother and daughter in this photo!"

Lynn senior had an idea: "Let's take a picture of the entire family together."

"Alright!"

The whole family gathered in front of the camera. Leni readied her phone.

"Leni, you're holding the phone the wrong way. No, I meant you should hold the phone horizontally, not towards yourself."

Leni turned her phone sideways.

"Say cheese!" The whole family did what requested and another photo was taken.

Leni then checked the taken picture again.

"What a big happy family! Wait a minute...why am I not in the photo?"

"It's because you took the picture!"

"Sorry! Can anyone else take another picture then?"

"Sigh. I guess I can. One picture in this situation is enough for a mere mortal." Lucy and Leni switched places and yet another picture was taken.

"That should be enough photos for today."

Lynn Senior addressed the family.

"This morning has been very eventful to say the least. Perhaps you all could take a break for a few hours while I and Rita take care of our granddaughter. Also, Lincoln and Lori, try to think of what are you going to name your daughter so we don't have to keep calling her "the baby". Also, everyone, try to keep your contact to outside world to a minimum today."

The family then proceeded to resume their daily activities inside the house. Some, including Lincoln and Lori, retreated to their rooms.

* * *

Lincoln tried to read comics to calm him down. It worked for a while but still, the reality set in. He was an eleven-year old father. With his oldest sister who was six years older than him. Not only that, Lori also had a boyfriend. What would Bobby think of all that? Hopefully he has read about the cases of doorstep babies. That would make explaining things much easier. Speaking of doorstep babies, he was glad that their baby wasn't the first case. If this had been the case, they would still be in denial, thinking it was a particularly cruel prank by Luan or Lisa's experiment. He tried to call Clyde but there was no answer.

It was afternoon already. Lincoln decided to visit Lori's room to ask about some things. Lincoln knocked at the door.

"Come in."

Lincoln entered Lori's and Leni's room. Lori was currently alone in her room as Leni was downstairs.

"Umm...hi."

"What do you want this time?"

"I need some...girl advice."

"Girl advice? You are a father and need girl advice?"

"That's what I meant. If I have a child with a woman who is not my girlfriend or wife, and who is already in a relationship, what shold I do?"

While men all over the world have asked that question, this current context of this question was so absurd and unusual, that Lori couldn't help but laugh.

"What's so funny?"

"Normally, if a woman cheats with a man and the woman gets pregnant, that's what that man asks, not some boy who had a child with his sister!"

"Oh. Anyway, got any advice?"

"Not at the moment. I don't think many people have advice for a situation like this."

"Speaking of cheating, what does Bobby think of this?"

"I haven't called him yet. I...am afraid to ask. He might break up with me if he hears the news."

"Come on! Ask him. He'll eventually learn what happened."

"Oh well."

Lori picked up her smartphone and started messaging.

"Shall I look away?"

"This time I give you a special permission to look." Lincoln was surprised that he was given the privilege to oversee this sacred activity.

"Ok. Here goes nothing..."

Lori's was nervous.

"Hello, Bobby. Sorry to text you this time but I have a problem."

They waited for a reply. Then...

"Hello, Babe! What worries you today?"

"What worries me today? If he'd only know," Lori thought to herself.

Lori's hands were shaking. She then sent a picture uploaded from Lynn's phone. The very first picture of Lincoln's and Lori's child with the baby still wrapped in a blanket. She accompanied it with a text "That's what worries me today!"

Lincoln and Lori waited for a reply.

"So Rita and Lynn sr had another child? I did not know Rita was pregnant! So what is the problem? You having to move out to make room?"

Lori replied.

"The problem is that Rita was not pregnant."

She started "This baby is MY..."

Lincoln stopped before she could finish the sentence "Stop! Not yet!"

Lori realized her mistake. She delteted the sentence before it was too late for misunderstanding to be avoided. Instead she replied to already appeared "?":

"You've heard about those news about doorstep babies? Notes about the parents of the baby and challenge to to take DNA test? You know, serial breeder?"

She waited for a reply. It appeared.

"I heard and read about those cases. You mean, your parents had another child due to that criminal?"

Ok. Now is the time.

"Bobby, it's not their child. Here's a problem: I am a mother now! The note on a baby said it and the DNA results confirmed it!"

They anxiously waited for a reply that eventually came.

"What? This is really bad! So who is the father? Me? Clyde? J/K on the last part."

Lori and Lincoln were really nervous now.

"And that is the biggest problem. Let me show who the father is."

She quickly found pictures sent by Leni and uploaded a picture of Lincoln and Lori with forced smiles holding their daughter.

"THAT'S WHO THE FATHER IS!"

It felt like minutes. Lincoln quietly said "Lori, I'm scared."

"Me too."

Then the dreaded reply appeared.

"JEEZ! So you are saying that whoever did this used your and your brother's DNA? He is just eleven! Who would do such a thing?" The reply was calmer than they expected. It was Lori's turn to text:

"Yes! I'm afraid. If I ever find out who did this to us, I'm gonna turn them into a human double helix!"

The texting session went on...

"I'm sorry about all that. How did Lincoln react to that?"

"Better than me. He seems to handle this better but still not well. He's a tough kid."

"So who will take care of your child?"

"Me, Lincoln, my parents and my sisters."

"Oh...sorry to ask but...do you still love me, Babe?"

That sentence came out of nowhere. However, Lori finally genuinely smiled for the first time since daughter's arrival. She replied:

"YES! YES I DO!" with a kiss emoji.

"Great!"

"I was going to ask you the same thing." Lori replied with a smiley. "However, I gotta go now. Please don't talk about that with others just yet. They will find out soon. We'll talk soon again, ok?"

"Bye then! Love you, Babe! Anyway, congratulations for your child! Tell Lincoln that I said hi."

"I will. Bye!"

Conversation ended. Lori was much happier than before.

"I'm feeling much better now!"

"Me too. That went smoother than I expected. The relationship is going to be weird between me, you and Bobby."

"You bet?"

"Anyway, I have some more questions."

"Ok. Shoot!"

"How do you call someone you had a child with but who you are not married to nor are you in relationship with?"

"Um...let's see...Co-parent?"

"That might be it. Oh...I almost forgot...name! Do you have a name for our daughter?"

"I forgot! I'll name her then. L-L-Lo...Le...La...hmm". She then haphazardly said "Loan!"

"Loan?"

"Yes."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes. I want to get this over with."

"That was quick! It will be Loan then. The naming tradition continues. And a final thing: Do you think we'll get through this?"

"I...I really don't know. I suppose we will." Lori gave Lincoln a headpat.

"Thanks, sis! Anyway, shall we go downstairs to announce the name?"

"Yes. Let's do this!". Suddenly a door opened and Leni entered the room.

"Great timing."

"Hi, Lori and Linky! How are you feeling?"

"Better than before."

"I have a question for you two: Since you two now are now parents, will you two get married?"

"NO!", said Lincoln and Lori in unison.

"Why not?" Leni, being naive as always.

"Because we are brother and sister and siblings cannot marry!"

"Why?"

"Because it's against the law. Besides, we don't love each other like that. I already have a boyfriend."

Leni felt sad. "Isn't it sad that you have a child but you don't love each other?"

Leni had a good point, Lincoln concluded. "We still like each other as brother and sister, even if we don't always get along."

Lori continued: "Also, there might be laws that forbid siblings from marrying each other and especially having a child with each other. However, I'm correct, there are literally no laws that prevent brother and sister raising a child together. Anyway, can you take your phone and come with us?"

"Ok! Where are we going to go?"

"Our parents' room."

The three went downstairs and knocked at parents' room.

"Come on in."

Leni, Lori and Lincoln stepped into the room. Baby was sleeping again with Rita and Lynn Sr watching over her.

Lori was first to speak: "Now that me and Lincoln are feeling little better, we have an annoucement. We finally chose the name for our daughter."

Lincoln continued: "The name is...Loan!"

"Congratulations!" replied Rita. "How is it written?"

"L.O.A.N." Lincoln tried to make up a story how they came up with the name. "Shorter form of...let's see...Loanne. We thought we'd continue with the tradition of 4-letter names starting with L."

"Loan? That sounds like a silly name. It's almost like Luan. Are you sure you want to keep that name?", Lynn senior asked.

While Lincoln answered with "Mhm", Lori said "Yes."

Lincoln reached out his hand. "Oh...sorry I didn't say earlier but congratulations for becoming a grandmother and grandfather". Lincoln shook his parents' hands.

Leni pointed at Loan. "Look how cute Loan is." Loan was sucking her thumb while being asleep. Lori soon remembered.

"That reminds me, Leni, why we brought you here. Take out your phone again because we are going to take another picture?"

"But who will be on a photo if we all take a picture?"

"No. I meant YOU take a picture."

Lincoln and Lori picked up Loan while Leni snapped another photo. This time Lincoln's and Lori's smiles weren't as forced.

"Shall we go and announce the name to the rest of the family?"

"Let's go!"

And off they went to announce Loan's name, carrying her with them. Sisters congratulated the new parents. Luna was a bit anxious though.

Lincoln wanted to know why. "What's wrong, Luna?"

"Luan has started writing. I bet she has tons of puns ready for us in the near future."

"Let me guess: Incest puns?"

"In a Nutshell, correct!"

"It's going to be a long year."

* * *

It was near evening and family was preparing for dinner. There was a knock at the front door. Again.

"I'll open it.", said Rita.

She opened the door. On the other side, there was Clyde.

"Hello. Can I see Lincoln? He was absent today. I tried to ask his sisters but they were nowhere to be found as well."

"Our family is in quarantine today due to circumstances beyond our control."

"What happened? Is there a plague or something?"

"A child was born. Or, let's say, delivered."

"What do you mean by that? Can I see Lincoln? He's my best friend."

Lynn senior joined the conversation.

"Alright. If you keep things quiet for a few days. Rita, let him in."

Rita stepped inside and Clyde entered the house. Lincoln, Lori and Loan weren't currently present.

"What's happening?"

Lynn senior looked at Clyde. "Clyde, would you take a seat?"

Clyde sat on a couch.

"What's happening again? I don't see the new baby. It feels like somebody died or something."

"Quite the opposite." He took the news articles printed by Luan and handed them to Clyde.

Clyde skimmed through them and became surprised. "Are you implying that...?"

"Yes. Our family got hit by those criminals as well and we have a new child. Hey, Lana! Can you get Lincoln for me?"

"Okay!". Lana ran upstairs.

A few moments had passed.

"Coming!" Lincoln ran downstairs.

"Hi, Clyde! Why didn't you call or answer me?"

"My phone was broken. So senior Lynn just implied that a baby was delivered to your family. Can I see him/her?"

"Ok. Rita, could you get Loan for me?". Rita ran upstairs.

"Loan? That's his/her name?"

"Her name? Yes."

Rita came back down with Lori and Loan.

Lori greeted her. "Hello, Clyde!"

"Hi!" He didn't get nosebleed this time. "So this girl here is Loan?"

Lincoln decided that now was the time. "Yes. And here's a some bad news. How to say it?" Lincoln sighed. "Loan is Lori's daughter."

Lori continued: "And Lincoln's daughter as well."

Clyde looked at Loan, Lori and Lincoln?

"What? Are you sure?"

"Yes. Whoever made this baby, combined my and my brother's DNA. We are Loan's co-parents."

Reality set in. "That's disgusting! But also..." Clyde grabbed his heart..."Ouch." It seems that this time it was his heart that was bleeding, not his nose. Clyde was clearly more sad then disgusted. "I think I need some time alone. Bye, Lincoln and Lori. Talk to you later?" and he started walking out of the door.

Lincoln just said "Goodbye. See you sometime?"

Clyde didn't answer. He only slowly waved and walked out the door.

Lori felt a bit sad. "Poor Clyde. First it was Bobby and now it's you in his way as well."

"He will be ok."

Ten minutes later and dinner was ready. The family, well-rested, sat at a table. Lori was feeding Loan with a bottle of milk.

Lincoln asked: "So, will our lives get back on track soon?"

"I hope so." came answer from Rita.

"So, how is taking care of Loan going to look like, schedule-wise?"

"When we are home and not busy, we can take care of her. Otherwise, You and Lori will either take turns or take care of her together. You can use the help of your sisters as well but don't rely on them too much."

"And during night? Where is she going to sleep?"

"During first weeks, Loan can sleep in your or Lori's room. Or Leni can sleep in your room while you and Loan spend a night with Lori's and Leni's room. Or Loan is under our watch during night. Whatever works the best."

Lori considered all those options. "Let's try all of them."

Rita agreed. "Let me and Lynn senior take care of Loan during the first night."

"Ok, mom!"

Lola was curious: "Hey, if Loan is my sister's daughter and my brother's daughter, does that mean I'm a double aunt?"

Lynn senior thought a bit. "Yes! Yes you are! In fact, each one of you, except Lori and Lincoln are double aunts. Meanwhile, I am a double grandfather and Rita is now a double grandmother."

"Does that mean that Lori and Lincoln are double parents as well?"

"Well...no. They are just single parents."

Luan laughed. "That was a good one!"

"That pun was an accident!"

After dinner, the family went to their rooms. Rita and Lynn senior took Loan with them. What a day it was! Just a day earlier they were just a large family. Now they were a bit larger family that was much more unusual than your average large family.

The night went quietly and the family woke up in the morning as usual. When everyone arrived at the kitchen, they saw Rita and Lynn senior with Loan. Guess yesterday wasn't a dream at all.

Lynn senior walked outside to get the newspaper. When he came back, he started skimming through it. He noticed a small article. "Serial breeder makes the youngest father. Latest victim pair is a 11-year old boy and his older sister."

"Guess the news is out now. Brace yourselves."

* * *

 **This was probably the longest chapter of the story (although I'm not sure). Note that there is going to be a lot of of time skipping.**


	3. Box

Chapter 2: Box

The second day, all the kids went to school again, except Lori and Lincoln who took care of Loan. Licensed doctors came to independently verify the DNA although they used Loan's blood instead of hair. The results were the same as Lisa's, not only confirming Loan's biological parents independently, but also validity of Lisa's DNA tests. During Lori's and Lincoln's parental leave, they eventually decided that their parents being on the watch of Loan during night was the best option. After parental leave, Loan was moved to Lisa's and Lily's room.

As before, police did not find any clues about people who might have been behind the delivered babies so they handed the blanket and a note back to the family. Lisa also found out that not only her front door security camera footage cut off during night, but the camera itself was missing as well.

Lincoln and family also received quite a lot wanted and unwanted attention. The family got many requests for interviews. With parents' consent and under conditions that Lori stayed out of this, they eventually accepted. When Lincoln and Lori returned to school, they bothgot often made fun of although teachers and many students stood up in their defense. Lincoln also received a certificate for the youngest father in the world which became an addition to his trophy case although he felt like he didn't earn it.

Lincoln's and Clyde's friendship was not as broken as Lincoln feared. Clyde got over it sooner than expected.

When Lori turned eighteen, she became Loan's legal guardian. Lori's fears that her job opportunities might take a hit due to Loan and her origins were baseless. Lori's initial enthusiasm of raising a daughter faded as she found a full-time job as an accountant, often leaving Loan at the care of Lincoln and the rest of the family. However, Lori stuck with the house and became another source of income for the household.

Lori's relationship with Bobby remained strong. They paid each other frequent visits. They eventually did break up but they still remained close friends.

Lincoln took Lucy's advice that it would be better not hide Loan's origins from her. Lincoln also took his role as a parent much more seriously than Lori, even more seriously than Rita and Lynn Senior expected. Skills he had learned from having to take care of his younger sisters turned out to be very useful. Of course, extra allowance did play its part on Lincoln wanting to take care of Loan.

Meanwhile, cases of doorstep designer babies continued. Lately, there had been rather disturbing trend with few genes from the DNA of babies being found to be carelessly modified, removed or added. Many of the babies had some medical issues because of that.

* * *

It had been about two years since the birth of Loan. Leni also got a more permanent job at a new clothing store located in downtown.

One of the weeks during summer had been rather cruel. Loan got bitten by Charles and fell ill afterwards. Lincoln volunteered to take care of Loan, missing out a trip to Dairyland Amusement Park. To be fair, Lincoln's motives weren't entirely selfless. He knew his dedication would probably be rewarded later.

Lincoln wanted a custom-design weatherproof jacket. Leni had helped him to design it. Problem was that the material was not easily available and they had to contact a company, submitting a design and paying a lot, although less than usual due to Leni's workplace having ties with the company. Lynn senior had said that they could pay for the jacket if Lincoln showed further good conduct.

When rest of the family arrived back home again from Dairyland, his sisters had thought of the ones left behind, buying Lincoln a small rollercoaster model as a gift. They also bought a mug for Loan.

"Thanks, guys!".

"How's Loan feeling?", asked Lori.

Loan was happy when she saw her. "Mom!" and hugged her leg.

"She is feeling better. Loan, say "Aaaaa!""

"Aaaaaa". Lincoln checked her throat. Due to one excess "a", he could assess the situation correctly.

"Yup. Her throat is not as red anymore. Her bite marks are also healing nicely. She is still shivering when she sees Charles."

"Where's Charles, by the way?"

"Outside. Chewing our previous living room carpet."

Luan thought..."Car...pet. Hmm. Why didn't I think of it before!?" out loud.

"Oh no.". Luna got scared. "Guess she will bomb us with carpet puns soon."

Lori was happier. "At least there's something in addition to incest puns."

Even though Lynn senior had restricted Luan for only twenty incest puns per day maximum, those puns could still sometimes get a bit stale.

Luna asked "So, how many hours did you have a watch over Loan per day? Did you have to Rock Around the Clock?"

"Pretty much. With pauses when she was sleeping."

Lynn Senior joined the conversation.

"Lincoln, since you showed dedication and, as L.J. said, "took one for the team", we decided on our way back that you should be rewarded."

"Yes. We decided to order you that custom-designed weatherproof jacket you wanted so much."

"Wow! Thanks! Make sure you order me a size larger as I am currently in the middle of a growth spurt."

"Sure thing! Leni, confirm your order." Leni did so.

"The jacket should arrive at my store within a week!"

* * *

Soon, the day the jacket arrived, came. While that day wasn't Leni's working day, they still decided to go early.

"Goodbye!" They waved towards Loan who waved back as Lincoln and Leni got into the car. At this time, family had two cars: Vanzilla and a small hatchback, the latter they currently were in.

Leni was clearly excited as they drove to their destination.

"OMG, Can't wait to see you try it on! AARGH!" Leni suddenly hit the brakes.

"Leni, for the sixth time, it's a car freshener, not an actual tree! And no, you cannot run over something that is already inside your car!"

They soon arrived at Leni's clothing store. The store had been opened just a half an hour ago although there still were significant amount of people browsing in there already.

"Hi, Leni", Leni's co-worker said.

"Hi, Ana! Did our order arrive?"

"Yes. It's in the storeroom. The package was larger than I expected. It is also full of small holes."

"Oh no! I hope the jacket isn't ruined."

They arrived at the storeroom door.

"Now wait here, Linky, and be amazed."

Leni entered the storeroom. "Package with holes? That should make finding it easier.", Leni thought. Fortunately the storeroom was not the biggest so she quickly found the correct package. As it was a special delivery, it had "Leni and Lincoln Loud" written on it with large letters. Leni opened the box.

Soon Leni returned from the storeroom with a sad face. "I'm sorry, Linky. There was a mistake and the jacket that arrived was designed for girls. At least that's what the note inside said."

Lincoln felt sad but tried to console her. "At least you tried your best. We can always order again."

Leni suddenly looked puzzled. "But I have few questions. The note also said the jacket was by mother, me, father and you. But how could it be FROM you if it was FOR you? And why did it say I should to take DNA test to make sure that this is a girl jacket? And why did it come with a blanket?"

Lincoln started to sweat. Blanket? Note? DNA test? Oh no!

"L-leni?"

"What worries you today?"

"Can you bring me the box with everything inside?"

"Sure thing!"

Leni disappeared from view and came back with the box. Lincoln looked inside the box. It indeed had blanket with a note. The note said "Sex: F. Mother: Leni Loud. Father: Lincoln Loud", it had an extraction date that was a week before, and it also told to take a DNA test in case they weren't sure. Lincoln turned the blanket around to find that there was indeed a baby inside a blanket who was currently sleeping. Oh, and there was a jacket inside a box as well.

"Um...L-Leni?"

"What's wrong?"

"What's wrong? Remember how Loan arrived?"

"Yes. Inside a blanket."

"Well..." Lincoln picked up the baby from the box. "We just had another baby girl."

Leni looked at the new baby.

"And according to the note here, I am her father and you are her mother."

For a moment, there was silence. Lincoln waited for response. Suddenly, Leni was smiling again.

"Really? That's totes amazing!", Leni exclaimed loudly.

Leni sure took the news well, Lincoln thought.

"Shh!" said Lincoln. "Don't draw too much attention!"

Other employees weren't currently in view.

"Can you call...Lori or parents...ummm...using your phone?"

"Sure thing! Oh, I'd like to see their faces when they hear what we received here!"

Leni had grabbed her phone and called Lori.

"Lori? Hello!"

"Hello. Why did you call me this time?"

"O.M.G. You have no idea what happened? It's totes amazing!" Leni's voice tried to surpress her excitement.

"You got the jacket 50% off?"

"No. Even better!". Leni's smile widened. Lincoln feared the worst and started to regret asking Leni to bring the package here instead of opening it up in a storeroom.

Lori continued "I really don't know then. Ok. What happened?"

"I..." Leni couldn't contain her excitement anymore "I JUST HAD A DAUGHTER WITH MY BROTHER! JUST LIKE YOU DID! ISN'T IT AMAZING?"

Almost everyone in the store stared at Leni.

As Lincoln's hands were too occupied holding a baby for a facepalm, he looked down shaking her head.

"Oh, Leni. You are too pure for this world."

"What? WHAT?" Came from the phone. Lincoln tried to think quickly what to do.

"Leni? Can I talk to Lori? Here, I give you the baby, can you give me your phone for a minute?"

They swapped the phone and a new baby.

"LORI, YES, WE INDEED GOT HIT BY THE 'SERIAL BREEDER' AGAIN!"

Facial expressions of those who stared at them, changed. Guess the situation was at least partially salvaged.

"What?", came from the phone again.

"Yes, it's true! Sorry to cut you off but I'm busy at the moment. I talk to you when we get back home, ok? Inform our family! We'll talk once we get back home! Alright, bye!"

He ended the conversation. Leni was still holding the baby.

"She is so totally cute!" Leni started gently swinging the baby around who was still sleeping.

Ana who was among the crowd, came over.

"You got hit by serial breeder? With your brother? I am sorry, Leni. I remember when you talked about how he had a daughter with Lori. Now Lincoln had another child with you because of...whoever monster did this to you?"

Lincoln answered for Leni: "That's right! Right out from that box over there!"

"So that's why the box was so huge! I'm sorry we didn't check the box but our regulations forbid opening special deliveries not meant for us."

Lincoln continued. "I understand. Anyway, we need to get back home quickly. See you later? Come on, Leni!"

"Sorry about your loss...I mean...gain?"

"Thanks, I guess."

Leni suddenly had an idea. "Ana?"

"What is it, Leni?"

Leni handed Ana her phone.

"Could you take a photo of me, Lincoln and our daughter? Here, Lincoln! Hold our baby with me and smile!"

Lincoln had a confused smile while Leni's smile was genuine. Ana took a photo and handed the phone back to Leni.

"Wow! We look amazing!"

Leni then placed baby to the ground next to the box and took another photo.

Leni checked the photo and nodded.

"This one's for the baby book!"

"Alright, Leni, time to go. See you soon, Ana!"

"Goodbye!"

Leni and Lincoln both said "Bye!" and started walking towards the exit. Suddenly they heard Ana.

"Wait up! You forgot your jacket!"

The very thing they came there for in the first place felt so secondary now. Lincoln quickly grabbed the jacket and quickly walked outside with Leni.

* * *

They entered the car. Fortunately, they had a child seat inside a car so they strapped the baby there. She was still sleeping.

"You said "Baby book." That reminds me...before we get back home, can we go and buy baby supplies?"

"You always have a plan, Linc."

"I wish my plans would work more than thirty percent of the time.

They made a short drive to baby store just a few blocks away from the clothing store.

"Wait here, Linky! And watch over our baby! Hmm...let's see. What did I have to buy again?"

"Everything that dad bought when Loan arrived on our doorstep. And some of those...how to say it...milk tablets for feeding the baby?"

"Okay! I'm going now!"

As Leni entered the store, Lincoln looked towards the backseat at her new daughter. She was starting to wake up. Perhaps she had been drugged before so she wouldn't wake up inside a box.

At least Leni seemed enthusiastic. Good thing that Leni had worked as a babysitter.

Lincoln waved at the baby who curiously looked at him.

"Hello! Ummm...welcome to our family."

Baby smiled, just like Loan did when Lincoln greeted her for the first time.

Leni finally showed up, carrying two bags.

"I'm back, Linky! Let's go!"

"Let me check first!" Lincoln checked the contents of the bags. At least shopping is the thing Leni was good at. She did not forget anything this time and even remembered to buy a baby book.

"Everything is in order! Let's get going again!"

Car started moving again.

"Leni, how come that you are so happy?"

"Because I just had a daughter, duh! Shouldn't mothers be happy?"

"So you don't find it...gross?"

"Like, why should I?"

"Because we are brother and sister!"

"Come on, Linky! We haven't done anything gross. And you are totes good dad!"

Lincoln contemplated what Leni said for a bit. Kissing your sibling on the lips = gross but no deformed children happen. Having your and sibling's DNA combined and grown into a baby = not that gross but deformed children can happen. It's weird how upside-down things can be.

"I'm so gonna be a good mom! I'm going to feed her, teach her, play with her AAARGH!"

Leni hit the brakes!

"There's a baby on a road following us!"

"Leni, that mirror shows the backseat of our car and that baby is ours!"

Lincoln hoped that the only thing Leni would teach their daughter were fashion sense and kindness.

* * *

They arrived back at 1216 Franklin Avenue.

Lynn junior was on the watch. When Leni's car stopped, she shouted "Hey! They arrived!" through the front door. As Lincoln and Leni got out of the car and Leni started unfastening the child seat containing the baby, the family quickly gathered to see the fifteenth inhabitant of the house. During this day, only Lori and Lynn senior were at work.

"We have arrived! Sorry we're late. We had to go to infant store."

Family greeted them back.

Leni finished unstrapping her daughter from the seat.

"Here she is! My daughter and Lincoln's daughter!"

Family circled around Leni and Lincoln with a baby. Unlike last time, the family was more accepting and excited than surprised, disgusted or shocked.

Rita addressed the family. "Alright, children! Who wants to hold her first?"

This time there was more scrambling as everyone took turns to hold her but Lynn indeed did win the first place in that department. Meanwhile, Leni unloaded rest of the stuff from car while Lincoln explained the family the awkward story of how the baby was found. Many of them had a good laugh but some cringed.

"Shall we wait for Lori and pops to get back home before we take a group photo?"

"Alright."

"So, our family is cursed." Almost everyone jumped, especially Loan when Lucy said those words.

Luna was a bit more enthusiastic. "Come on! Leni's got this! See how quiet the baby is already."

"When I open "See the wonderful incest baby" booth again with Lana, how many dollars should I ask per view this time?" asked Lola.

Luna came to a conclusion that "Four dollars should be good."

"Incest!" said Loan.

"Teaching them early to cope with the harsh realities of being spawned in this cruel world through unholy alliance, I see." responded Lucy.

Meanwhile, Leni went inside with a baby while Rita called the doctors for health check and birth registration. She also called the police. While police didn't plan to arrive due to none of the cases giving any additional evidence so fat, they registered the case and sent their condolences.

Luan asked: "Linc? How does it feel to have a daughter with two of your sisters?"

"It feels very...awkward to say the least."

"Do you think having children with multiple sisters is...absolutely har-em? Hahaha! Get it?"

Lincoln groaned.

Lana was worried. "I heard that a lot of those babies have been freaks last few months. Will this one be as well?"

"I sure hope not!". Lincoln shuddered about thoughts of his daughter having serious health issues. Maybe even growing up to be as airheaded as Leni.

Rita stepped outside. "I have informed your father about what happened as well. He said that due to his day being more quiet, he is hatching a plan. He'll be announcing it before dinner."

* * *

Doctors arrived soon after. Rita greeted them.

"So, Loud family again?"

"I'm afraid so."

One of the doctors turned to Lincoln "So, if I'm not mistaken from what your mother said, You and Leni Loud had a child."

"Yes. Me again. With my second eldest sister this time."

"Whoever did this, has clearly gone out of their mind."

"You think so?"

Doctor asked Rita: "So, where's the new baby?"

"Inside. Follow me."

Doctors, Rita, Lincoln and rest of the family went inside.

"Hello. We came to check the newborn baby. Or, to be more precise, newdelivered baby. Can we see her?"

Leni came over with a baby. "She's here!"

Luna intervened: "By the way, we haven't checked her health yet."

"Leni Loud, can you hand us your child? We need to check if she is ok."

"Here!" Leni handed them her daughter with a big smile. "Isn't she a quiet little angel?"

One of the doctors started checking baby's health. Other doctor continued the conversation, asking Lincoln:

"So, what was the so-called 'extraction date' of this one?"

"Exactly a week ago."

"Ok. And where was she found?"

"Still in this town, at one of the clothing stores."

Examining doctor was now throughoutly checking infant's mouth. The other doctor requested:

"So since you didn't check baby's health, I assume you didn't take DNA sample either unlike last time."

"We haven't yet."

"Thanks for one of your daughter's inventions going into mass production, we have significantly sped up the tests."

"You mean, Lisa's DNA machine? Yes, it's one of the few things that she had designed that actually lasted more than a few days."

The family had received a significant sum of money for Lisa's invention which was then redesigned to be significantly smaller, faster and explode only half the frequency as Lisa's own experimental DNA analysis machine.

"Anyway, as the cases of doorstep babies have continued, several ambulance cars in Michigan have received those devices as a pilot program."

"We already know."

"With your permission, can we take baby's DNA test?"

"What do you think, Leni? You are an adult now and can decide?"

"Alrighty!"

Doctor took a small plastic bag, plucked a few hairs of the infant and put them in the bag. Clearly they were more professional than Lisa. Leni's daughter still didn't approve and seems like she was clearly crying although the family didn't hear anything. Two rats did run outside though.

Lana was happy. "So that's where Brownhairs and Teethy were hiding!"

"DNA analysis should take five minutes.", the doctor went outside into the abulance. Other doctor examined infants' throat again and then said.

"Okay, I'm finished.". He handed the baby back to Leni.

"How is my baby?"

Doctor sighed. "I have some bad news but with a silver lining."

The mood inside the house fell.

"Your daughter is legally mute."

The people inside the house seemingly went momentarily mute as well. Tears started to fill Leni's eyes.

"Nooo! My baby!" and started crying.

Lincoln tried to comfort her. "I'm sorry, Leni."

Others joined in for a group hug.

"No silver will make me happy after hearing this!"

Lincoln was curious. "Anyway, what is silver lining?"

"It's not permanent. She should regain her voice within 10 years. Or...she should have a voice within 10 years."

Family wasn't feeling as down now.

"You mean, my baby is going to talk?"

"Correct!"

Leni grabbed the baby again, hugging her tightly. "When she'll start to talk, I'll make sure she knows all the words out there!"

"Even bad words?" asked Luna?

Lana voiced her opinion: "She deserves to say so many bad words for not talking for 10 years! I'm gonna teach her all the bad words out there!"

"I wish everyone would be mute as a baby!"

"Keep quiet, Lola!"

"The statement Lola made is legitimate.", agreed Lisa. "Maybe I should do research on mute pills?"

Other doctor came back, announcing that "DNA tests confirmed that the mother and father of the baby are indeed Leni Loud and Lincoln Loud. However, a few genes have been modified. It seems that whoever designs those babies really loves playing with nature."

Lisa came over, bringing her smartphone "Requesting permission to copy the data of deoxyribonucleic acid of new offspring unit into my device for further analysis."

"Looks like the genius herself showed up. Alright, Lisa, step inside the car.". Lisa and doctor went inside the ambulance car.

Lincoln was worried and asked. "Doctor, before our daughter gets her voice, what should we do?"

"Main methods to communicate with mute people sign language, word cards, and texting. If you need help, you can always call the doctors. By the way, Leni, you will get three weeks of parental leave. As it is summer, Lincoln won't be needing any."

"Guess that's the price to pay for a summer child."

Lisa came back inside with the data. "I'll analyze the effects of modified genes. That should take a few hours."

Remaining doctor addressed the family.

"Alright. My work here is done for now. If you need any help, just call the hospital."

"See you soon! I mean...I hope I don't see you soon...I mean...I hope I don't have a need to see you soon." Lincoln corrected himself.

Everybody else said goodbye as well as the doctor walked out the door.

Luan looked at Rita "What will happen now?"

"We will wait for your father and Lori to arrive. Meanwhile, Leni, can you hand me my granddaughter?"

"No. I want to take care of her myself."

"Ok. Suit yourself, miss."

* * *

Most of the family proceeded to continue their daily activities. While news about child's condition brought the mood down, at least knowing that she'll get her voice back gave them hope. Some like Leni and Lincoln went to his room while some others like Lynn went outside.

Lincoln, was contemplating the situation he had been dragged into. The thought that he had had children with two of his sisters by the age of thirteen felt like a genderswapped version of something you could normally read from crime section of a newspaper. To top it all off, her second daughter was said to be 'legally mute', whatever that meant.

He opened up his laptop to check some of the ways a mute person could communicate. Sign languages, that would be probably too difficult to learn and by the time she has learned it, she would probably already talk normally. Teaching simple gestures would still come in handy though. He also looked at morse code.

"That might be useful". He got up from a bed, sat down and started tapping a cupboard with the rhythm of a morse code. He first tried his name, then other words and then short sentences. He tried many variations from dots and dashes including tapping them with different hands, blinking and breathingin morse code and so on. He felt better about himself. After he memorized the alphabet to calm him down, he entered the hallway.

He knocked on the door. "Hello?" was the answer.

"Lincoln here. May I come in?"

"Okay."

Lincoln entered Leni's room. Leni was lying on bed on her back while their child was next to her. Her mood was still somber. He wouldn't even want to think of how she would have felt if their daughter was never be able to talk rather than 10 years of no talking.

"How are you feeling?"

"Still pretty bummed out. It's not fair! Lori had a perfect daughter and I got the mute one."

She looked at the baby. "Say: "Mommy""

Baby didn't speak.

"See, Linc? She doesn't talk."

"Leni, week old-infants cannot speak even when they are not mute."

"Whoops. I forgot."

Suddenly, they heard "Requesting permission to enter." from the hallway followed by a knock on a door.

"Come in, Lisa!". Lisa entered the room with her tablet.

"So, I assume you did some...research. What did you find?"

"My DNA analysis indicated that your offspring's inability to verbally communicate for a decade is caused by DNA modifications rather than by your and Leni's ancestry."

"That means..." Lincoln got angry "If I'm gonna find whoever did this to her, I'm going to make sure they'll pay!"

Leni was angry as well. "They should pay us as at least three million dollars in compensation!"

Lisa continued: "On the other hand, these modified genes also indicate that while her intelligence potential doesn't reach my levels, she is likely to have IQ higher than both of you and she has enhanced multitasking abilities."

Lincoln calmed down a bit. "At least there's something."

Leni felt significantly happier. "You mean, my baby will be smart?"

"That is probably correct."

Leni looked at infant again. "Did you hear that? You're going to be so smart!" Leni smiled at the baby, stroking her hair. "You are going to make mom so proud!" Baby smiled back at her.

Meanwhile, Lincoln was still curious about the voice. "Lisa, have you ever tried inventing something that would make a mute person speak?"

"These devices already exist. They are called smartphones combined with text-to-speech software."

Lincoln felt stupid, remembering what doctors said before. "And here I was, feeling smart that I cosidered teaching her morse code."

"These skills could still prove useful. Especially when not currently being in possseesion of electronic devices."

Lisa continued: "Also, I noticed when your daughter cried, two rats started to run away. I have a suspicion that your daughter can still vocalize but outside normal human hearing frequencies. To confirm that we need to acquire an ultrasound microphone which I am not currently in possession of."

"Does Luna have one?"

"Maybe. Even if she doesn't have, they could be bought from the Internet. Anyway, that's all the information I could provide. I am going to take my afternoon nap now."

"Thanks for your info. Bye!"

Lisa left the room.

Lincoln turned to Leni who was singing a lullaby to baby who was now sleeping again. "Umm...Leni?"

"Wait a second...yup. She's sleeping like an infant!"

"So...all in all, our is daughter is getting a voice in 10 years, we can teach her morse code and sign language, she can use texting to speak to us and she can possibly make ultrasound. Since we don't hear her crying, taking care of her in her first years less annoying. In addition, she is going to be a smart girl wh can multitask. How does that make you feel?"

"I feel, like, so much better now!"

"So, we're getting through this?"

"We've got this, Linky! We totes got this! We're going to be so good parents!"

Leni gave Lincoln a hug.

"By the way, Leni, have you thought about the name of the baby yet?"

Leni fell silent, started scratching her head and she seemed to get lost in thought, looking at Lincoln and their sleeping daughter. A minute of silence was occasionally interrupted by her "Hmmm...".

Suddenly, she went "AHA! I got the name ready."

"So what is it?"

"Can I reveal it later? I just remember how I was with our dad when he wrote Lisa's name on a paper while he was in the hospital. He didn't even have to bring Lisa with him."

She quickly grabbed her wallet.

"I'll be driving to the hospital. Take care of L...I mean...our baby, ok?"

"You're just asking for trouble."

* * *

Lincoln picked up a baby while both Lincoln and Leni got out of the room. Leni quickly ran downstairs. She was clearly in a giddy mood!

From downstairs he heard "Hi, Leni. Feeling better? Hey, why are you leaving so suddenly?" He heard the entrance door closing. Lincoln carefully walked downstairs as he heard a car starting and driving away.

Rita and Lola who were currently downstairs. Lola asked Lincoln "What happened to Leni? Why did she look so happy all of a sudden and why did she leave?"

Lincoln explained Rita and Lola his and Lisa's visit to Leni's room, what Lisa had found out, how that cheered them both up and that Leni went to hospital to register her daughter's name.

"Glad that things turned out that way! Though Leni going alone to register the name spells a disaster. It's like she is asking to mess something up."

"Let's wait 'till she gets back to hear how she messed up."

Lincoln left the baby to Rita's mercy and went back upstairs. His mood was clearly improved. He started drawing Ace Savvy fancharacters to pass the time. He was proud that his characters were not recolors, unlike most kids would draw at his age.

About two hours had passed since Leni left. Suddenly he heard the car coming to a full stop. Lincoln quickly ran downstairs and out of the house.

A few other siblings and Loan were also there to greet Leni who got out of the car.

"Great news! Liena's name is official! You surely want to know what her name is!"

"Um...you already told us."

"Liena's name is...Liena Loud! See! Name starts with L just like me, my brother Linky, my dad, my sisters and my double niece Loan!"

"Um...Leni?"

"What is it?"

"Did you spellcheck her name?"

"Yes. It's L. I. E. N and A. See? It starts with L. Just like the rest of us!"

Lincoln sighed. Lucy sighed loudly. Lynn facepalmed.

"It doesn't have four letters."

Leni got lost in thought for a second and then made a sad expression.

"I'm sorry. But doesn't Lincoln have more than 4 letters also."

"I was an exception."

"But I really liked the name!"

"Fine. You can keep the name."

* * *

A few hours passed again and Vanzilla arrived at the front door. Lori and Lynn Senior stepped out of the car. Family greeted them and told them about the events that had happened in more detail. They also took the full family photo, this time using a stand so nobody would stay out of the picture.

Evening came. Lynn Senior had called the entire family into the living room for an important announcement. The family gathered around him.

He started explaining. "As you know, with fifteen people living here, the house is getting cramped. Me and your mother decided: That does it!"

Lori was clearly upset. "So I have to take Loan with me and leave?"

"No. Not at all." He pulled out a paper out from his pocket. There were some hastly drawn schematics.

"Since we have set aside some money from various sources, we have now enough money to expand our house!"

"That's right!", confirmed Rita. "Each one of you will be getting your own room!"

The family cheered in joy. It was one of the loudest cheers ever heard in that house.

"And Lincoln, since you have shown dedication when it comes to raising Loan, I think it is time that you get a bigger room."

"Awesome! Seriously, awesome!"

"What did you draw?" asked Lily.

His father started to explain:

"These sketch with five squares next to each other...these are bedrooms. They will be in the basement. This sketch here is our porch which we are going to close off and make into three rooms. And these are drawings of closets and another big room that will be on the first floor."

Lori questioned her father's decision. "So you are saying that five of us are literally going to live in a basement?"

"Yes."

"Sigh. Although having a bedroom in the attic would have been even better, living in the basement sounds wicked." Lucy still smiled. Finally a place of solitude for her.

"Tell me, is one of those small porch rooms a bathroom?"

"Yes. It is about time we get a second bathroom that everyone can use."

Family cheered again.

"I have an idea!"

Almost everyone looked at Leni, some even readied their hands for a facepalm.

"What about making bathroom into two rooms? One with a bath and shower while the other one has a toilet!"

Luna was surprised with this proposal. "That's actually a very good idea! This should shorten the lines to bathrooms even furher."

Leni's clearly looked proud after Luna approved the idea. Her father took out a pencil and drew a line, splitting one of the rooms in two.

Lola asked. "Should we have a swimming pool in a basement in case it starts to flood?"

Basement floods. That was something Lynn senior hadn't thought about. "First of all, Lola, no. But you had a good point." He wrote down."Drainage channels for small flood, pumps for larger flood."

The family discussed other ideas as well. Ideas got more ridiculous as the discussion went on. Majority of those ideas had to be discarded by either just plain absurdity or budget constraint with the ideas ranging something slightly unusual like guillotine room propsed by Lucy to something truly evil such as timeout room proposed by Lori. The schematics paper became filled with notes and corrections and became almost indecipherable to a normal human being.

* * *

At the dinner table, the mood was high.

"After all those years I could practice sports in my own room! Although I'm kind of bummed out that now I have to leave my room to get someone to compete with."

"If there would be more kids like Liena in our current house, I bet it would be a good time for...mute-iny!"

"Sigh. We indeed were born in this world to suffer."

Luna was worried.

"If those serial breeders aren't caught soon, do you think I will have a child with Lincoln as well? What would Sam say?"

Lori had an idea: "Guess that means we need to literally have an emergency plan written and posted on our living room wall in case something happens."

"Yes. Having a poster in a wall that says: "In case you found an inbred child." What a Mad World we're living in."

Lola asked "If Liena and Lola both have Lincoln as a father but they have different mothers, does that make them self-sisters?"

Lynn Senior answered. "They are also cousins as they are also their aunt's daughter to eacher. So that makes them sister-cousins."

"Kinship gets complicated at that level." said Rita.

Later in the evening, there was a knock on Lori's and Leni's room.

"Come in!" said Lori.

Lincoln stepped in and saw Lori texting and Leni designing clothes for children. Liena was in Rita's and Lynn senior's room. Both of them looked at Lincoln.

"Wow, Linky! You look totes amazing! Where did you get that jacket? Oh wait...that was in the morning. I almost forgot."

Meanwhile, Lori was trying to hold back laugh.

"Looks like you are rather forward-thinking. I almost can't see you inside there."

"Well, I am growing fast at the moment. Plus, with children appearing so suddenly to our family, I need to be forward-thinking, right?"

"You have a point."

Lincoln spent some time chatting with his two co-parents and plans they had for their children until it was lights out time. Lincoln was glad he was getting along better with Lori than two years ago.

* * *

 **The chapter was longer than I expected. Hopefully the next one will be shorter.**


	4. Drone

Chapter 4: Drone

A week after the Liena was found in the box and new house blueprints were shown to the family, construction workers arrived. Lynn senior handed them house schematics. Only the basement and the road-facing side of the first floor were to be modified according to construction plans. The entire family then went to 2-week road trip to South Carolina with Vanzilla and their hatchback.

When the family returned, the construction was in full swing. After seeing the scene, they soon regretted not supervising the construction. Turns out that Lynn Senior had made critical errors when drawing his schematics and hadn't specified various details. First, he had drawn the basement rooms much bigger, resulting a large plot of land to be dug out in front of their house. In addition, the basement was extended to the sides as well.

It also turned out that the blueprints of the first floor handed out by Lynn Senior were mirrored, resulting that the location bathroom with a toilet room to be the left side of the entrance room and one of the bedrooms on the right side of the entrance room. As they were part of the porch, these rooms weren't the problem. What were the problems were the rooms not part of the closed off porch as they completely blocked off the path to garage for cars. As Luan remarked, these rooms were built oppo-side of where they were supposed to be.

The family was rather upset but until Lynn senior stated that it's better to look positive sides of the mishaps and work around the new 'features'. The family decided to thank workers for making the basement rooms bigger and stating that cars won't belong in garages in those days anyway. Troubles of the family weren't over though. Excavated dirt still had to go somewhere and they decided to just surround the house with it. That did result basement floor to be buried entirely underground, leaving it with no windows. Only Lucy approved.

When construction was complete, the internal migration begun. Lisa, Lana, Lucy, Lincoln and Luna moved to the basement, Loan and Liena moved to the new rooms on the first floor, Lily moved to Lincoln's former room and Leni moved to former Lisa's and Lily's room.

* * *

After everybody finally got their own room, the children felt that something inside the house was rather different. The house didn't feel so loud. It somehow became much more bearable living there, queues to bathrooms were often missing or significantly shorter and overall things didn't feel as chaotic as they used to. However, some siblings missed the old times a bit, often visiting and having sleepovers in each other's rooms. Family also decided to paint the doors of the second floor rooms to combinations of favorite colors of those who lived there before with Lincoln's former room being painted plain orange.

When the next school year started, Lincoln decided to get homeschooled as taking care of his kids took a lot of time for Lincoln.

When Luna turned eighteen, she started touring around the country with Sam, the rest of the band, and Chuck. Her room was often empty because of that.

Lori turned out to be a bit too strict mother, allowing Loan only one hour of screentime per day whenever she was present inside the house. Lincoln worked around that by letting Loan play video games with him when she turned three.

Things with Liena's turned out to be much better than expected. Her muteness made taking care of her much easier during her infant phase. After purchasing an ultrasound microphone, it turned out that Lisa's hypothesis was correct and she indeed could make ultrasound. Some siblings exploited this by making her cry to get rid of some of the pests infesting upper floors. Lana did not allow Liena in her room due to some of the pets not approving Liena's voice. Liena did get a certificate for highest human voice in the world.

Liena's condition has made Lisa conduct research for speech impediment cures. She managed to find a permanent one for herself and now all her unwanted "th"s became "ss"s. She had to tolerate some of her siblings calling her snake for a few months though.

The clothing store delivery marked the point when serial breeders got more creative in their baby deliveries to the point that they weren't doorstep babies anymore. On a positive side, several months after Liena, it seemed that the breeders got their gene editing right and now the designer babies did not show signs of major physical or mental retardations. Luna felt easier because of that.

* * *

More than two years had passed since Liena saw the light of day. It was a nice and sunny autumn day. Rita, Lynn Senior and two eldest sisters were at work. Luan was practicing her pranks, Lola reading gossip magazines, Lincoln playing video games, Lisa doing research, Luna being out of town, the usual. Lucy was teaching Liena some words in morse code that Lucy considered important, and also a few gestures of sign language. Liena was a quick learner.

Lana and Lynn were playing ball with Lily and Loan in the backyard. Lynn readied her soccer ball and kicked it as hard as she could. Lily caught the ball with her hands, but she went flying with the ball. After Lily got up and the ball war returned, Lynn looked at her other victim.

"Your turn, Loan!"

"I'm scared."

Loan was shaking as Lynn started running towards the soccer ball. Loan crouched just at the right moment, making ball to miss her and it hit the back fence instead.

"Ease up, Lynn! She's just four! Hey, Loan, let's play catch instead!", said Lana.

Loan suddenly noticed something flying in the distance: "What's that, aunt Lynn?"

"It's a quadcopter drone! It's flying towards us."

"Why?"

"Because it's carrying a bag! Or something."

"Why?"

"Because it needs to deliver something."

"Why?"

"Because...I don't know! Stop asking "Why? So often!"

"Why?"

Lana was curious. "Why do kids at that age say "Why"? a lot?"

Before they could realize, the drone had flown over them and the house, descended, dropped the package at the front door and was starting to fly away.

"It's for us! First one to open it is a winner." Lynn quickly ran to the front. Others followed.

What she discovered that that the bag was actually a single piece of cloth. On that cloth was a now-familiar type of baby blanket. And, as before, there was a baby inside a blanket with a familiar-looking note.

Lana, Lily and Loan also arrived. Lana looked at the new present.

"Another baby? I bet it's Lincoln's and Luna's kid! And it is! And it's a girl again!"

"Lynn, why don't our babies come from mother's belly?", asked Lily.

"Well, because I don't know! Someone is a horrible person."

Lana noticed the extraction date. "Hey! This one is fresh! She was 'extracted' today!"

"What's 'extracted'?", asked Loan.

"I wish I'd know."

Poster on the living room wall came to Lana's mind. "Time to initiate Operation Sin Kid!"

"Okay, Lana! Get Linc and rest of the dwellers! I'll get the ones upstairs. Lily, can you go to the living room and watch over the baby and Loan? We'll inform Luna after the doctors pay a visit."

"Alright!" Lily picked up the baby. "FIRST!"

Lynn was a bit upset. At least Lynn felt a bit better when she entered the house before Loan, Lana and Lily.

* * *

Lincoln was playing video games in his room. In about an hour, he decided to switch up things by planning to play with games with Loan instead, after she was done playing outside. The plan was interrupted when Lana opened the door.

"Lincoln! We have some news for you!"

Lincoln jumped. "You seem in a hurry. What worries you today, Lans?"

"There was a gift for you and Luna."

"Should we wait for Luna to return tomorrow to open it?"

"It was already open."

"Who opened it?"

"Well, it arrived open. Go to the living room. Ready your phone. You'll see why."

Lincoln picked up his phone, left the room with Lana, ran upstairs, through the kitchen and dining room and into the living room. Lily, Loan, the baby and Lynn were already there.

"There she is! Lily, can you hand her to Lincoln?"

Lily handed the baby to Lincoln.

Lincoln sighed.

"Another one? So this one I had with Luna?"

"Precisely!"

Lana ran outside again. Ever since she started to live in a basement, she preferred to use the backyard door to enter the basement rather than running through the dining room and kitchen, a habit picked up during house expansion.

Lynn returned from upstairs with Luan and Lola. After they admired and held her, Luan asked:

"So, who found the baby?"

"Loan spotted it first but Lynn, Lana and Lily were also there."

"How was the baby found?"

"You know those old illustrations and children's books where a baby was delivered by a stork? Replace stork with drone and that's how she was delivered to us."

Luan was lost in thought for a few seconds and then opened her mouth again. "We could say that whoever did this had a...stork of genius!"

Loan laughed, rest of the people in living room groaned.

"See? Loan got the joke! Anyway, I'll inform parents, doctors, police, Leni and Lori and Luna."

"Wait! Let's call Luna after doctors have examined baby's health. Then we won't have to keep her anxious." said Lynn.

"Alrighty!" Luan then started calling.

"So, another lost soul, never getting to experience the warmth of the mother?"

"That's right, Lucy. Also, thank you for making me jump only a little this time."

Liena had also arrived with Lucy.

Lynn was worried. "How are we going to explain Loan all that? I could understand if she had to witness a live birth but, seeing that freakish delivery? This is going to be really tough to explain."

"I bet Lana was disappointed. She would have loved to see live birth instead of a delivery.", said Lola.

Lana agreed. "Kind of bummed out on how our sister's children are born."

Lisa arrived from downstairs.

"So it has occurred again. Good news, the camera remained intact and the footage of the delivery was recorded. I have disclosed the front door camera footage on timestamps 15:30 to 15:31 and copied it to Lincoln's phone."

"You act it like it's a routine thing by now."

"I have practiced getting used to it."

Lincoln got out his phone and watched the disclosed camera footage. The rest of them gathered around him to watch the footage again. Then they watched it again, in slow motion, stopping at certain frames.

Luan finally finished the calls.

"I called Leni first as I know she could leave early. Considering how eager she is to fulfill shopping requests, she's already buying supplies. Doctors said they will visit soon. I informed the police and promised them that we can release the footage within a day. After the doctos have checked the baby's health, we inform Luna."

* * *

Leni arrived before doctors and parked the hatchback. She ran out of the car, carrying all the necessary stuff. One thing you could always count on Leni when it came to doing shopping.

Family greeted her and showed her the new baby in a living room.

"Wow! She looks totes cute! Even has brown hair like her mom! I can't wait to see Luna's face when she finds out."

Liena tugged Leni's dress.

"If it isn't my daughter, Liena! So what did my baby learn today?"

Liena smiled, and moved her index finger across her throat.

"Sigh. Liena, you need to look serious, not smile during cutthroat gesture.", said Lucy.

Liena tapped "Sorry" in Morse code on a wall.

* * *

Ambulance car arrived and doctors emerged from it. They had to double-check the address as the house looked different since the last time they visited. Lincoln and Luna came to greet them.

Lincoln looked a bit embarrassed when he waved at doctors. "Hello. Me again."

"So, you got hit for the third time?"

"Yup. This time with my third eldest sister, Luna Loud."

Luan was starting to shake one of the doctor's hand. "Hello. I'm the..."

One of the doctors suddenly went "OW!"

"Sorry. I forgot to remove the "hand defibrillator" prepared in just case of a new baby's heart was out of order". Luan removed her joy buzzer and continued explaining.

"What I meant to say that Luna is not present and we...umm...can't contact her at the moment. I'll be acting on her behalf. I'll call her when I can."

"Over eighteen and yet here you are, making pranks even in serious situations."

"Anyway, step in."

Luan led the doctors inside. Lincoln followed as well.

The same procedure occurred as last time. One of the doctors started examining the baby to look for any obvious health issues. Other plucked a few of her hairs for DNA samples, Lisa followed the doctor and received the data. Family was nervous but kept fingers crossed.

After doctor finished examining he said.

"After the initial health check, I can say that there are no obvious health issues! She seems to be in perfect health!"

House was filled with "yay!"s and "phew"s.

After the doctors left and Luan jokingly yelled "See you soon! Love, Luan!" as the ambulance drove away, Lincoln called Luna.

* * *

Luna was currently wrapping up up her tour with Sam, rest of the band members and Chuck. This time they were doing Michigan tour, less ambitious than some of the other tours their band had been on. They were currently in Great Lakes City, making preparations for their last concert of that tour.

Suddenly, her phone started to ring. Luna looked at the phone.

"Excuse me. It's from my bro Lincoln!"

Luna picked up the phone.

"Hey! Wassup, bro?"

"Hi, sis! How are you doing?"

"Tour has so far been great! Almost no problems! Number of bottles thrown at us could be counted on only one hand...full of raisins...that have been shrunk a bit. So why did ya call? Missed me?"

"Well, yes but there's someone else who might miss you, aside from those who throw bottles at you. I'll do a video call."

"Ok, bro! What'cha wanna show me this time?"

"Well..." Lincoln activated the camera.

He pointed camera towards the baby.

"Luna...well...serial breeder was at it again and you...err...now have a daughter with me, just like Lori and Leni do."

There was a bit of silence.

"Bro...Lincoln...dude..."

Other band members gathered around Luna to send condolences.

Luna opened her mouth again. "How do ya feel?"

"I wanted to know the same from you. Well, as for me, at this point I am kind of...accepting my fate. So how about you, sis?"

"To be honest...I...kinda...prepared for it. I know that day would come. It even was close to the year I expected it to happen. So, again, it's a girl?"

"Yup." Confirmed Lincoln.

"Then...does Lyra have medical issues?"

"Lyra?"

"I had prepared the name just in case."

Lincoln thought about the name a bit.

"Hey, sis! That's a great name! By the way, the doctor said...Lyra is in perfect health!"

"Really?"

"Yes! No 'legally mute' stuff or something like that!"

Luna felt relieved! "That's amazing. Dude, you don't know how happy I am! So where was she found?"

Luan interrupted Lincoln.

"Well, Luna. How to explain it? Guess it's time for 'the talk'. You see, when a brother and sister get along well and someone wishes that they both had a child together, then that someone somehow gets the DNA of a brother and sister, grows a baby out of that DNA somewhere, takes it on a drone ride and delivers it to a brother and/or sister. You get it when you're older!"

Luna, her band and a lot of people in the house chuckled.

"So...in summary, a drone delivered her? Did you catch the drone?"

Lynn explained: "We were to busy seeing the baby to pay attention to it. Besides, it was already flying away when we got to the front door. However, our security cameras got the footage! Shall I send the footage after this call?"

"Go ahead! Anyway, shame this baby happened when I was away. Not something every mom' can say!"

Luan had an idea.

"By the way, can you start video call with Lola?"

"Why?"

"An...unusual parent photo. Lola, ready your tablet!"

Lola returned with her large tablet. Meanwhile Luna disconnected from Lincoln's phone and reconnected to Lola's tablet. Lola put Luna's face in video call to full screen mode.

"Lincy, hold the baby now." Lincoln did as requested. Lola placed tablet with live footage of Luna's face next to Lyra.

"Now, Lincoln and Luna, smile, or else!". Lola held a phone next to Lyra. Lincoln and Luna smiled.

Luan took a picture with her phone.

"Now that one is family's first. As you have said many times, Wish You Were Here. So what are you gonna do now?"

"Guess we're...gonna celebrate! Yup. This concert will be rockin'! Be sure to watch it live online! We'll give our best. Roooight?"She turned to fellow band members!

"Right!", they said, fistbumping Luna.

"Anyway, see ya after concert! Keep rockin'!"

"We will! We'll be sending you the footage soon." said Lincoln. "Bye!" said everyone. Luna ended the call.

* * *

After the call, drummer had a thought:

"Hey, Luna! Imagine if Lyra had been the first one in the family."

"I would have not been prepared, I would have felt disgusted. I would have felt down! I would have been feelin' blue. But fortunately having two nieces helped me to prepare."

Chuck stated: "Sam would have probably felt upset about it if you had a daughter during those years."

"You bet I would!" While Sam and Luna were not as close as before, they were still good friends and still were in the same band.

Luna had another thought. "Sam, imagine if you had been you instead of me having a daughter with my bro during those years!"

"I would have been furious! You probably would have felt sad."

"But what about you with your bro Simon?"

"I would have been both furious and disgusted!"

Drummer had a more absurd thought: "Imagine if both Luna and Sam had a child with both Lincoln and Simon"

"Ok...this is getting too far!"

Despite this, the band continued the conversation, coming up with ever more outlandish scenarios. Soon they saw the footage of Lyra being delivered and had an idea to quickly make a song about it.

* * *

Evening came. Vanzilla finally arrived and parked next to the big tree, as they had been had been since the expansion of the house. Parents and Lori got out of the car. After they greeted and held Lyra, Rita asked Lincoln:

"So you all managed to do all that without our help?"

"Yes! Operation Sin Kid was a success! Lynn and Lana informed our family, Leni did the shopping, Luan was in charge of speaking on family's behalf and rest of us followed."

Rita smiled. "I'm proud of you all! Our family has grown up so fast."

Only slight disappointment came from Lisa who completed the DNA modification analysis and found all the modifications to be "boring" as they only increased resistances to diseases.

* * *

After the dinner, the TV in living room was connected to the Internet and the entire family arrived to watch live footage of Luna's last concert of that tour on the big screen.

Luna had a blast during concert, jamming with the band more enthusiastically than normal. Considering Luna, that's saying something. After the band had performed Luna's song "Artificial Born Breeder", Sam addressed the crowd as she often had done between songs.

"What an outstanding crowd! As many of you know, the song you just heard was inspired by events how 'serial breeder' affected Luna's family and especially her brother and two older sisters. Well, Luna has an announcement to make."

Luna stepped in front of the crowd.

"Today, my family got hit by the breeder again. And suddenly I'm a mom now!"

There was a mixed reaction in a crowd. Luna continued:

"Come on! It could be worse. At least it was the serial breeder or I'd be playing Jailhouse Rock!"

Luan continued. "Don't you just hate those days when you are informed that you have just become a mom and your baby happens to be in some other town?"

The crowd and Loud family behind the TV laughed.

"I mean, usually it's deadbeat men who are away during their child's birth! Even deadbeat women don't have that kind of experience. Rooight?"

Crowd laughed again.

"However, my bro hasn't been deadbeat yet! And I'm sure he won't become deadbeat now!"

Crowd cheered. Sam stepped in.

"If anyone is interested, we even have got the footage how Luna's child was delivered on our social media. You can watch it online after the concert is over. Well, you can watch it right now as well but what kind of a crowd you'd be if you'd do this and miss the performance? So with this news out of the way, here's our newest song "The Storks Will Go Bankrupt!""

Crowd and family cheered! Luna handed a her guitar to male band member and she herself got behind the synth.

It wasn't a slow ballad as some of the family members feared. It was actually rather aggressive song. Throughout the entire song, Luna soloed on one hand and held down a single note with the other hand.

As the song ended, the crowd and family behind the TV cheered again!

Luan noticed something: "So Luna used a drone in her song. Haha! I get it! Very clever, Luna!"

The rest of the concert went swimmingly! Luna did crowd surfing while standing and performing a guitar solo. She was glad that guitar could work wireless for at least short period of time. She noticed familiar faces in a crowd and waved at them.

Bobby and Ronnie-Anne waved back and cheered!

As Luna got back onto the stage, Ronnie yelled at Bobby through the music:

"That Lame-o Lincoln really gets around!"

"You are fifteen and still using the word "Lame-o"? What's the matter, Nini?"

"Nothing!"

"Are you jealous? Did you want to have kids with Linc?"

"No!"

"I am not so sure about your "no"!"

"I'd rather have a child with you than with him!"

Bobby laughed.

"You are kidding, right?"

"No I'm not OF COURSE I AM KIDDING!"

When the concert was over, the band started packing their stuff.

"Can't wait 'till I see Lyra in person!"

"Does having Lyra mean you won't be missing out on tours?"

"I'll see as the wind blows".

* * *

Meanwhile, inside the Loud house, Lynn senior addressed the family.

"Attention! As you know, there are now six people, including me and your mother, living in our house who are over eighteen. Moreover, each one of you, if excluding Lyra, has got their own room now."

Rita continued: "We decided that "lights out" rule has become obsolete and will become just a guideline from now."

Rest of the family cheered.

"Just don't make too much noise during night.".

"I'll use the night..." everyone jumped "...to wake up early to prepare for harsh realities of school in the morning." said Lucy.

Meanwhile, Liena was proudly demonstrating the family that she had learned longer words of Morse code this afternoon, like "darkness" and "suffering".

* * *

When night came, everyone went to sleep except Lincoln who was waiting for her. Lyra was taken into parents' room just like previous kids had been during their first night in the house.

Few hours into the night, tour bus stopped in front of 1216 Franklin Avenue to drop off Luna and a few instruments she brought with her. Band members and a few roadies gave Luna a goodbye hug. Luna waved at them. Luna carried the boxes to the garage.

Luna then entered the house. She remained quiet as she opened her parents' bedroom door. Parents and the Lyra were sleeping on their bed. Luna took Lyra, trying to not wake parents up. As quietly as she entered, she left the room and closed the door.

"Mom's here. Finally!". She gently stroked Lyra's hair.

Luna carried the baby to the basement and to her room. She then knocked on Lincoln's door.

"Yes, I'm awake. Come in!"

Luna opened the door. "Hi, bro! Come here, you!"

Luna gave Lincoln a tight hug.

When Luna let go, Lincoln asked.

"So, did you see Lyra?"

"Yes. She's the perfect little angel. She's currently in my room."

Luna took out her phone.

"Hey, let's take a selfie to celebrate us being proud parents?"

She readied her phone, did her now-iconic facial expression with tongue out and also not forgetting to do horn gesture over Lincoln's head. After a photo was taken, they looked at it.

"Luna, do you know that horn gesture symbolizes fertility?"

"Yup. You got three kids already and with three girls, including me! You're a stud!"

"I'm a stud in the most unstudliest way possible. I kind of have no choice."

Luna laughed.

"With this rate, all your kids with us will be pumped out before the age of 35."

"Hey, I don't want to be like our dad!"

"You won't be. Our pops got kids with only one woman."

"It's not what I meant! I'd rather have kids with one woman as well."

"But on the other side, our pops only had mom to raise us all. You got all of us by your side!"

"You have a point."

Lincoln suddenly realized: "Hey, you are a known local musician, you and me got hit by serial breeder, and the footage of your child being delivered is out for everyone to see. What do you think news articles will say in the morning?"

"The news and headlines will be writing themselves!"

"Hey, now that we have a daughter, will you be at home more frequently?"

"You bet, bro! Kind of miss out going on tours. Hey, I might take her on tours when her height starts to blast off!"

They talked for half an hour and then said their goodnights. Luna went to her room, took Lyra in her arms and fell asleep.

Lincoln also went to bed. Despite Luna having been away, everything went much smoother and better than any of them expected, Lincoln thought before he fell asleep. The future looked brighter than he imagined.


	5. Jar

Chapter 5: Jar

Three years had passed since the arrival of Lyra. Life in the house returned to normal more quickly than during the previous three times.

Lana decided to be more useful for the household and started digging out more of the basement in return of extra allowance. She managed to dig out more of a basement, resulting in an extra bedroom with a closet, albeit small, being constructed. Loan moved down there while Lyra got her old room.

Mr. Grouse had troubles with money. Lynn Senior offered him to buy some of his yard. Eventually, a deal went through. Now the Louds could park their cars normally again and even drive into the garage if necessary.

Liena now knew not only Morse code very well, but she also knew a lot of signs, even the ones that meant bad words. She used texting and word cards as well. The family found out that she could listen to at least two people at the same time, sometimes even three, and still answer to them all.

Liena was usually rather chubby, although she was considerably thinner after playing outside. Her weight indirectly inspired Lisa to finally make another useful invention ready for the masses: Pills that would allow much more efficient digestion of food. Lily was very happy for that invention as she now didn't have to go through three times as much food as a normal person to maintain her weight.

After four months of hiatus, Luna started touring again. She brought her daughter to every tour to make up for not being with her during birth. Roadies took care of her when the band was performing. Sometimes Luna was lucky to have family members at concerts, in chich case Lyra was under their watch.

Every year, Lori added Loan an extra allowed half an hour of screentime per day.  
The family was now expecting a new child at any time. Luan kind of accepted her fate. When asked if she has a name for a future baby, she said no, stating that a good comedian will improvise.

Lynn became a sports athlete. However, she didn't like sticking with one sport so she switched between different ones.

Lincoln had gotten a hang of his fatherhood. His homeschooling decision paid off as he managed to find time for his children. Loan got homeschooled just like Lincoln although that was Lori's decision. Lincoln was usually the one teaching her. Her grades were usually Cs and Ds though.

Meanwhile, serial breeders were still on the loose. By that time, over 70 cases in Michigan state were confirmed already.

* * *

And so, Lincoln's 18th finally arrived birthday came. A day Lincoln would finally become a legal guardian for Loan, Liena, and Lyra.  
They decided to not do anything fancy and instead arranged the party inside their house. The entire family and a handful of relatives were also there. Some of Lincoln's friends also paid a visit. For example, Clyde.

The birthday party was in full swing. People ate and chatted, Lincoln talked about his experiences of being a father with his sisters, the challenges it brought and the benefits it had.  
Suddenly, Lincoln heard kazoo and laughing. Surprisingly, Luan was not the only one who laughed.  
"Ok, Luan! I have to give it to you this time! This one was pretty clever.", said Lori when she emerged.  
"What did that Luan do this time?", asked Lincoln.  
"When I flushed the toilet, kazoos were activated and confetti literally fell down from the ceiling."  
Lola took her notebook and added a mark to the "Times when someone got pranked by Luan and laughed" tally.  
Soon it was time to open presents. Lincoln went to the basement to call the ones currently down there. Luna's room door was open, Some of his sisters, Liena, Lyra and Clyde were in line. Lana stood in front of the doorframe with headphones and inside Luna's room. Lincoln heard Luna shouting:

"Three, two, one, BLAST!"  
"BOOM!" did a loudspeaker. Lana went flying against the mattress placed behind her. Lana then handed headphones to Clyde who stood in front of the loudspeaker.  
"Hi, Linc! Now watch me fly!"  
"Three, two, one, BLAST!"  
"BOOM!" did a loudspeaker again and it was Clyde's time to fly against the mattress.  
"Lincoln, where did you get that idea to use Luna's loudspeaker?" asked Clyde after he got up.  
"From my previous experiences. Anyway, can you all stop within five minutes? It's time for the opening of presents and then the birthday cake."

* * *

Within five minutes everyone had gathered inside the living room. Some started filming and taking pictures.  
Lily handed her present first. It was a stack of drawings.  
"I asked my friends and sisters to draw these. Some of them didn't want to draw."  
Lincoln looked at about twenty or so drawings. Fourteen of them had a picture of Leni and Luna kissing Lincoln on the cheeks and remaining ones depicted Lori hugging Lincoln. One picture was an exception though. It featured both Leni and Luna kissing Lincoln and Lori hugging Lincoln at the same time. Some of the pictures had a text "Lincoln Loud, best damn father anywhere around".

Lincoln laughed. "Damn, dang, what's the difference?" Lincoln then thanked Lily and kindly asked Lily not to request these pictures again for the time being.  
Lucy's turn was next.  
"Well, I don't have many earthly possessions you might find interest in but I'll give you this instead." She handed him a miniature coffin. Lincoln opened up a coffin and there was a note that had "Lincoln's childhood" written on it. Coffin also had a strawberry soda bottle in it.  
"Thanks, Luce!" He took out a soda bottle. "We'll bury the coffin tomorrow next to of my older sisters' childhood coffins."  
Clyde and Ronnie-Anne had given Lincoln a joint present: A t-shirt with a text "Okayest uncle-dad".

Albert gave him a watch. Lincoln thought it was rather retro.

Luan gave Lincoln a pie as a present.  
"Hey...wait a minute...!" The spring underneath the pie was activated. Lincoln managed to dodge the pie before it was too was currently in the possession of an empty tray. When he saw the pie flying towards him, he reacted quickly and the pie landed right on a tray.  
Some, including Lincoln, laughed, others clapped.  
Lori praised Bobby: "Nice catch, Kodiak!"  
"Thank you, Lady!"  
"I mean, it's an upside-down pie now,", noted Lincoln. "Won't make it less tasty though."  
Liena was already in place with a plate.  
"Here you go!"  
Bobby cut the small piece from the pie and handed it to Liena. Liena took a bite out of it and gave a thumb up.  
Luan was a bit frustrated.  
"Come on! I had supercharged my squirt flower and had a whole reservoir of water hidden underneath my shirt just for that prank!"

Meanwhile, Lola took out her notebook again to add a tally mark to the "Times when Luan's prank didn't go as planned and the target laughed." This counter had twice as much tally marks as the previous list but still paled in comparison to "Times when someone got pranked by Luan and didn't laugh." list below which had ten times as many tally marks.  
"Still an improvement compared to was it was five years ago", Lola thought to herself. "With that rate, I have to come up with something else within fifty years to blackmail her if needed."

* * *

Finally, Rita and Lynn senior came from their room with a large wrapped present.  
"And here is our main present. I, your mother and five eldest siblings decided to give you a joint present.", said Rita.  
Lori gave him a hint. "It's related to one of your hobbies."  
"Wow! Thanks, guys!" He unwrapped it present and saw a cardboard box. The address was still here and it seemed Lynn Senior received it. He took the tape off the box, opened it and quickly removed numerous wrappings.  
A lot of people in the room screamed. A few went "Eww!"  
"Wow! Cool!", said Lana!

Lincoln looked at his present. It was some kind of a glass jar. At the sides of the jar, there were a few compartments with a few indicator lights glowing. But the main thing that freaked so many people out was inside the jar. It was a fetus floating inside a fluid. The fetus was connected to compartments via several hoses that seemed to replace the umbilical cord. The fetus also moved.  
Lola fainted but Lana took her phone to continue filming. After a moment of silence, Luan was the first one to open her mouth."Another one?"  
Leni tried to justify herself. "But...but I was sure that there was nothing wrong with the present! It had no holes in it!"  
"Somebody must have switched the boxes!"  
"I'm sorry I didn't check the contents of the box."  
After some discussion, Lincoln noticed something: two notes were glued on the jar. Lincoln started to read the first one.  
"Sex: Female...no need pointing it out. I can see that! Mother: Luan Loud. Father: Lincoln Loud.  
Luan Loud responded. "Yup! I knew it!"  
Lincoln continued. "It also says that the estimated extraction date is today. So we finally know what the 'extraction' means!"  
Luan went closer to see their yet-to-be-born baby. Everyone else who had gotten over shock also took a closer look.  
Lincoln looked at Luan.  
"So, Luan? Are you ready to become a mother?"  
Luan sighed and nodded. She then gave Lincoln a hug.  
"Like I have a choice! I just hope having a baby with you is going to be...birth it!"  
They looked at the second note. It said "Extraction manual."  
"Guess I have to take it out now. Luan, can you read the manual?"  
The crowd fell silent.

Luan started reading: "Okay. Step one: remove the safety ring."  
Lincoln turned a shiny ring at the top of the jar. It finally came off. He handed it to Luan.  
"That's pretty...jar-ring."  
"Luan Loud: Can't stop joking even during the most important moments in her life."  
A few snickered. Lola had woken up again. Lana handed her phone who continued filming with a few others who, unlike her, didn't faint."Step two: Remove the lid."  
Lincoln removed the lid. That step was easy.  
"Step three: Remove the fetus out of the jar but DO NOT remove the cords."  
"Here goes!". Lincoln rolled up his sleeves and his hands reached into the jar. He felt a bit disgusted. She grabbed the sides of the fetus and lifted her out from the jar.  
"Step four: Wait for a fetus to start breathing normally."  
Lincoln held the fetus. It was kind of uncomfortable to hold her as she was wriggling. Within a minute, she started coughing and spitting out that fluid she had been in. She soon started breathing. Lincoln waited a few more moments to make sure.  
"Ok. Next step?"  
"Step five: Remove the cords by pressing two buttons of the wire near the navel simultaneously. That's the final step."  
Lincoln did just that and cords came off. And just like that, the baby was...well..born.  
Some of the crowd clapped.  
"Looks like my flower won't be going to waste at all" Luan sprang into action and used her modified squirt flower to clean off the baby and Lincoln's hands.  
"Can anyone bring me a towel? Also, open up the supply box!"  
Loan went to the room with a bath and brought the towel.  
"Good girl, Loan!". Lincoln gave her a head pat.  
Leni ran to the basement opening a chest with "In case of a new baby, open up the box." written on it.  
Soon the baby got wrapped up. Lincoln looked at the baby.  
"Welcome to the family! Anyway, anyone else wants to hold the baby?"  
Again, all the siblings, parents, Lincoln's friends, and children took turns to hold her. Well, not all of them. But still, most of them.  
Lisa was curious about the jar.  
"Excuse me. I request to keep the container in which fetus the was grown in. This might be useful for research."  
Lincoln looked at the container. "It's all yours! Just remember to return it later today. And please do not use your research to start making designer babies as well!"  
"I promise I won't do any permanent experiments...for now."  
Lisa picked up the jar. She started to open up the compartments one by one.  
"Interesting. Very fascinating." She started sniffing different compartments. "Hmm...Waste products...hmm...nutrients...oxygen". She looked underneath the jar. "Batteries." "When I am done researching the contents and its workings, I'll notify you and you can inform the police. Also..."  
She plucked one of the hairs of the baby. She now owned the mass-produced DNA analysis machine as well, although she begrudgingly described as "plane" and "unscientific-looking". With baby's hair and the jar, she left.  
Rita then spoke again.  
"So...anybody wants a cake?"  
Most people said they weren't hungry.

* * *

Still, the family sat down the dining room table, Luan having the new baby in her lap.  
"Come to think, Linc, you just delivered a baby! Sort of!"  
"All in the day's work!"  
"You know, you have much more guts than the president who delivered you."  
Ever since government document leak of 2020, Lincoln was glad he could tell the whole story about his birth now.  
"Well, I mean, delivering your daughter was nothing! I mean, I took her out from a clean and hopefully sterile jar instead of your..."  
"Pussy!" interrupted Lyra, chasing the family's new cat. "Come here, pussy! Come here!"  
After the family had a laugh, Lori proposed: "Maybe we should literally call the cat ComeHere or something similar to that."  
Leni realized! "Oh. The calls! I'll start calling! I'll call the doctors first!". She took out her phone.  
Meanwhile, Luan turned her head towards Lincoln.  
"So, Linc...lots of things happened to you today...you turned eighteen, delivered a baby, you name it."  
Luan stared at Lincoln for a bit.  
"So what's the name?"  
"Oh, you mean that "you name it"? I get it! It's like you had planned it all along."  
"You're not entirely wrong."  
Lincoln realized that this is the first time he was given the initiative to name a child. He decided to use his name as a basis...  
"What about something based on my name: Liby? A short version of the word "Liberty""!  
Luan thought a bit "That works great! It's a cute name! If Liby one had made through...traditional methods, I would have needed an a-Liby"  
Lincoln sighed.  
"Typical Luan. It hasn't been a twenty seconds after your child was being named and already you're making puns based on her name."  
Rita's telephone rang. "I'll get it! Hello?"  
"Hi! It's Leni! O.M.G. you have no idea what happened today...oh!". Leni realized her mistake and ended the call.

* * *

Soon the doctors arrived and ringed a doorbell.  
"Come in!"  
"Hello, Lincoln! Had another daughter with your sister?"  
"Yup. Same old, same old! This time with Luan. You probably remember her."  
"We sure do."  
Other doctor noticed the scene. "Seems you've gotten so used to it, that you're even celebrating!"  
"Well, actually, it's my eighteenth birthday party and the baby was delivered inside a box as a present. She came inside a jar-thing and I today got her out of that."  
"Jar-thing?"  
"Yes. It's currently already being examined. We can show you the footage soon. Some of us filmed me opening my presents."  
"Can't wait!"  
"I even made a few puns there!"  
"Anyway, shall we begin?"  
Lisa stated that she had already obtained DNA samples.  
"We still have to take DNA samples ourselves for computer security reasons."  
The mood was tense when doctors examined Liby's health after the other doctor had taken samples from her hair follicles. Some kept their fingers crossed.  
After doctors finished, one of them addressed the crowd.  
"Her primary upper front teeth have already erupted but otherwise, she's in great health!"  
The tension was relieved from the crowd. Some went "Phew!", others "Yes!" or "Yay!".  
Doctors chatted with new parents for a bit. Then they said they had to leave.  
"Have a wonderful party! Enjoy your parental leave as well!"  
"We will! Although none of us are working at the moment."  
Doctors left the house. Lisa went to the basement again.

* * *

Birthday party continued.  
Lynn quietly said to Lori:  
"Hey, Lori! Remember how it was. You said it would take two years or less, I said more than two years."  
Lori was a bit frustrated but still handed her 50 bucks.  
Meanwhile, Luan held a slice of bread.  
"Do you know what does flour in this and Liby have in common? They're both in-bread!"  
"We've heard that pun twenty times already."  
Soon, Lisa emerged from the basement again.  
"DNA analysis complete. To my fortune, the breeders were more creative than with Liby Loud than with relatively boring and uninspired Lyra Loud."  
"Oi! Watch yer mouth!"  
"Hopefully there are no bad mute-ations! Hahaha!"  
Liena made an angry face towards Luan.

Lisa then took out the list and started talking again. "The list goes following: First, high metabolism! Second: Enhanced multitasking abilities although not to the extent of the specimen Liena Loud. Third: Extremely durable and regenerating teeth. Fourth: Her permanent maxillary central incisors, lateral incisors, and canine teeth are fused into one and will be continuously growing after the eruption."  
Lana asked: "Basically, she's going to have super buck teeth?"  
"That is correct."  
Lincoln noted that it's no surprise as both he and Luan had buck teeth.  
"Hopefully we don't have to bea-very concerned! Hahaha! Get it?"  
Liena held a text card that said "Yes! I get it! And no it is not very funny.", a card she frequently pulled out when Luan was present.  
Lynn sighed.  
"I guess Lacy will be next."  
"Lacy?"  
"Name's already been thought out! Gonna have to train taking care of kids though to prepare for her. Right, children?" Lynn looked at Lyra, Liena, and Loan!  
"Help!"

* * *

Rest of the party went smoothly. When the last guest had left, Lincoln spoke to Luan:  
"This is one of the strangest presents that I've ever received. This one takes an investment to pay off."  
"Well, what can I say?"  
"Also, how's it feel being a mother?"  
"Like nothing has really changed. I don't feel different."  
Luan started feeding Liby with a milk bottle.  
"How come?"  
"I mean, we have all been all kind of guardians of the new children with my sisters, just like Lori and others have been guardians of you and our younger sisters."  
"Luan, I'm kind of worried."  
"What's to worry about? We're prepared, we know what to do with a new baby, we know we can always make the house bigger, we have plenty of money!"  
"I'm worried about you. Your poor daughter is going to have to suffer through so many puns and pranks."  
Just as he said that Liby spat out the oil.  
"Gotcha! Guess mother knows what pranks are the best after all." She quickly switched the oil bottle back to the normal milk bottle.  
Lincoln quickly decided that his parents have to take care of Liby during the first few nights.

* * *

Three days after the birthday party, a delivery car stopped in front of the family's house and a woman came out carrying a box. Lyra was the only one outside at the moment.  
"It's for Lynn Loud senior. Can you get him?"  
"GRANDPA!" yelled Lyra. She ran inside. "GRANDPA!"  
Soon Lynn Senior emerged from the house.  
"Hello! Here's your package." the woman said.  
Lynn senior gave her his signature and the woman handed him the box. Lynn senior then gathered all his daughters who were currently present in the house.  
Lincoln was playing co-op games with Lucy, Loan, and Liena when they heard a knock on the door.  
"Come in!"  
Father with six of his sisters and Lyra entered the room.  
"Son, I have a gift for you." He handed him the box.  
"Thanks, I guess!"  
"Come on! Open it."  
Lincoln preemptively rolled up his sleeves, removed the tape and opened the box. Inside was a stack of old issues of Ace Savvy comics, all of them signed by Bill Buck, a pair of underwear, and lots of pens and pencils of various colors.  
"Phew! I thought it was going to be another child!"  
Lincoln and many of his sisters laughed.

* * *

 **Looks like now I can make shorter chapters indeed. Next ones may be even shorter.**


	6. Tree

Chapter 6: Tree

The household went back into its normal rhythm.

Siblings realized that none of them hadn't dated for years. They kind of forgot about dating while they were focusing on the household.

Lana had managed to dig two other rooms in the basement. One became a third bathroom, the other one became a temporary bedroom. Liby was moved to a new temporary bedroom.

Lynn quit playing sports teams and instead became a gym teacher. That gave her more opportunities to practice different types of sports.

Police got their hands on the jar. After some examination, they still found no clear evidence other than this was clearly done by scientists, which was already obvious before. After police examined it, scientists got to examine the jar as well. After that, it was handed back to the Loud family.

* * *

About two years had passed. It was a silent winter morning. The family had woken up.

"Hello. How well did my baby sleep today?", asked Leni.

Liena was a bit annoyed but hugged Leni to know she was ok.

"Hey, Sweet Child O'Mine! Do do you enjoy chilling at home?"

"I am!"

"I'll be going! See ya, slowpokes!" Lynn grabbed a bike, helmet, kneepads and off she went.

"See you, shorty!". Lana waved at her.

Lynn either ran or rode a bicycle to school, even during winter. Six years ago, the Michigan Department of Education decided that it was more practical to just put Royal Woods Elementary, Middle and High school into a single building. The plan was put to use four years ago. Unfortunately, it meant that it took eighty minutes of walking from Royal Woods Joint School to the Loud house.

Soon the others were leaving as well. Lori looked at Loan: "Make sure you get at least one B!"

"It's impossible!"

"It is possible, Loan! Remember, you studied yesterday!"

Lincoln, Leni, Luna, and Luan with all the kids stayed at home that day, the rest of the family eventually ended up at school or at work.

* * *

A few hours later and Loan was in her small room with her private teacher. Loan had finished filling her math test on a tablet. Loan then pressed "submit" button and the screen went blank. After Loan handed the teacher the tablet, she was shaking and nervous. The teacher pressed the "continue" button and looked through the answers. Then came the answer.

"I'm sorry Loan. It's an F."

Loan started crying "But...but...I practiced so hard!" She started shaking harder, holding Bun-Bun in her arms. "I'm a failure! I'm a failure!"

"I just don't know how you got those numbers."

Luan entered the door laughing.

"Stop laughing! I got an F and now my mom's gonna kill me!"

"Here. Let me fix that for you!" She drew a zigzag pattern on a tablet and the answers changed, being closer to what they were supposed to be. "These are more accurate to what you just wrote!"

The teacher scolded Luan: "Stop doing those kinds of pranks! Look how miserable she is. Ok. Let's check the result again..." Teacher scrolled down to the end of the test.

"It's still an F."

Luan was crying harder.

"Guess you put too much...EFFort into the test."

"STOP IT! IT'S NOT FUNNY! You know what's funnier?".

Loan shoved Luan away against the wall.

"THAT'S FUNNIER!"

Luan realized that she may have gone too far.

"Actually, I was still kidding!" Luan took the tablet, made a zigzag pattern again and answers changed yet again.

"Ok. Now, THIS is how Loan actually answered."

Teacher scrolled at the end of the test again.

"Loan, you can calm down now. You got a D+! Also, you can take a break now."

Loan tried to wipe her tears, but with no avail. "D+?"

"Yes!" The teacher turned to Luan.

"D+? But...but I studied for least for C." as she ran out of her room, still crying.

The teacher turned to Loan.

"I don't trust your tablet ever again!"

* * *

Meanwhile Lincoln and Leni taught Liena. Teaching her took less time than most kids simply because two people could teach her simultaneously. Lincoln taught her mathematics while Leni taught her history. Liena tapped out answers in Morse code.

Leni had a tear in her eye.

"I totally wish I was as smart as you. I don't deserve to be your mother."

Liena tapped "I'm not that smart. I have As and Bs, not all As."

* * *

Luna and Lyra were playing music in Luna's room.

"Try this one!" Luna played the first two measures of Chopin's Winter Wind.

Lyra repeated her performance. It came out right.

"See! You're rocking already! Now let's see how you handle this:"

Luna started the next two measures which were the same as the previous one but with chords.

"I'll try."

Lyra managed to copy her with a few mistakes.

"You can do better! Now comes the next part."

After Luna had played the next few measures, all Lyra could do is to say:

"Help!"

Suddenly, Loan came crying to Luna's room.

"What's the matter now, Miss Shaky?"

"I got a D+ and aunt Luan made fun of me!"

She told Luna what happened.

"Again? That clown never stops! However, I'll know just the recipe to calm you down."

Luna altered the synth instrument and effects.

"Now hold these notes.", he pointed to a few keys.

Loan pressed the said keys on a keyboard. The soothing sounds came out from the synthesizer. She started to calm down.

* * *

Lynn was with the third grade. This time they were outside with sleds. Half the kids were pulling sleds and half of them were lying on them.

"Time to switch again!"

Those lying on sleds and those who pulled then switched. It was hard to tell which was more difficult: Kids trying to keep up with Lynn or Lynn trying to hold herself back to not to exhaust children too much.

Lynn herself switched between pulling and getting pulled by three students.

The class soon had reached a mile or so into the forest to a planned location via the footpath. They were soon going to turn back and return to school.

"Ok. We've reached the end! Ten minutes of break and we'll return, ok?"

Students started to catch their breath. Suddenly, they heard a baby crying. They would have dismissed it if it crying didn't come from above.

"Ok...what's happening."

Soon, one of the students noticed something. There was a piece of cloth being stuck on a tree branch and that was the source of the crying.

"Who would do such a thing?"

"Not again!"

"What do you mean, "again", asked one of the students?

"It's a long story!"

Lynn assessed the situation, shrugged and started climbing a tree. Students were amazed by how quickly Lynn climbed.

Lynn quickly reached the branch the baby was on. She realized that she couldn't reach the baby without the branch breaking. Fortunately, she was only five meters above the ground and the ground was covered with snow.

"Gather below!"

Students below gathered below the baby.

Lynn started shaking the tree branch. It seemed that didn't help very much. All it seemed to do was to make the baby cry harder. Lynn then decided to hang from the branch to reduce her falling distance. She started inching towards the tip of the branch. Some students were worried.

"It's going to break any second now! Be ready to catch the baby! Don't worry about me!"

She inched closer until the branch broke off. One of the students caught the baby with a few others almost getting hit with the branch. Lynn managed to land on her feet, but the uneven ground below the snow caused her to hurt her right ankle.

"Ouch!"

Lynn laid on the ground. Some of the students gathered around Lynn, others around the baby. Fortunately, there was a tree stump nearby and Lynn managed to sit on that.

"Can anyone give me the baby?"

One of the students brought Lynn the baby.

Lynn quickly grabbed the infant. It seems that it was shivering from cold. Lynn started hugging the baby to give it warmth and the crying stopped. Lynn noticed something: newborn was wrapped in several blankets, but the usual note was missing.

"Did anyone see a piece of paper?"

One of the new girl students answered.

"You mean that one? It fell from the tree as well. It says...Sex: Female"

Some of the students laughed.

"Does the note have my name on it?"

"Yes. It's also got your husband's name!" she said.

"Husband? You mean, Lincoln? He's not my husband! He's my bro!"

"But why does it say that you and your brother are her parents?"

"Because she probably is!"

"Eww" went the student until a few others explained the new one what they've heard in the news.

"Hand the note to me". The girl gave her the note. Lynn started to read.

"She's a week and a half old. By the way, her name is Lacy."

"How do you know her name?"

"Because I had thought of the name just in cases like this."

Lynn placed a note into her pocket. Lynn grabbed her phone from her other pocket. However, she found out that it was out of batteries as she had forgotten to charge it. Guess it was not her luck that day. She also cursed no-phone policy at school. It seemed all the events were just leading up to this situation. She concluded she had to...

"I need to get on a sled. Can you give me Lacy as well?"

Kids carried her to sled with Lacy.

"Have to get home as soon as possible. Hey, I'll tell and show you where to go. Anyone helping to pull the sled me will get an A today."

Kids all lined up to hold the rope.

"Just be careful! I don't want Lacy to fall out or catch further cold!"

Kids started pulling the sled with Lynn and Lacy. They frequently swapped positions and tired ones got into other sleds to recover.

One of the kids was concerned. "Imagine if she hadn't been found."

"She would have probably picked up again and given another go. I wouldn't be surprised if they have done that already. Not my first time here in the past few weeks with classes."

* * *

After half an hour of kids running and pulling sleds, Lynn arrived the 1216 Franklin Avenue with her class. Lynn got up with Lacy.

Lincoln, Liena, and Leni saw the children and Lynn through the window and came to see what's up. Lincoln was the first to be outside.

"What's happening here?", asked Lincoln. Leni and Liena also arrived.

"Lacy finally happened! Guess where she was found? Hanging from a tree in a forest! We were out with class! That's why so many rookies are here."

"So that day finally came! That's totes amazing! Congratulations! " Leni gave Lynn a hug.

"Be careful! I hurt my leg!"

"Wait? Forest?" asked Lincoln.

"That's right! She was just left out cold! Anyway, can you carry me inside? Liena, can you take Lacy?"

Lincoln and Leni took Lynn over their shoulder.

"Just wait here for a few minutes! Also, you all get an A today.", Lynn said to students before she closed the door.

Lynn, Lincoln, Leni, Liena, and Lacy got inside the house. Lynn was carried to the living room couch.

"Liena and Leni, get our family ready! Time to initiate Operation Sin Kid again. Leni, open up the supply box!"

* * *

While Liena and Leni called the family (Loan's home teacher had left) and Leni opened the box again, Lynn told Lincoln how Lacy was found, how she hurt her leg retrieving her and how she got back home.

"Now that's something that doesn't happen every year."

"Too bad I couldn't take photos."

"Taking photos of your kid left out cold would have probably been a bad idea."

"Oh, now the students are going to be late to school as well."

Lincoln thought for a few seconds.

"I have an idea!" He then started calling her dad.

"Yes, Lincoln?"

"Sorry to call you but can you get to the house pronto? More than a dozen students are in front of our house need to hitch a ride to school quickly!"

"What? Why?"

"Lynn brought them here!"

"Ok, I'm confused. Why?"

"Because she told them to!"

"Ok, but why would L.J. do that?"

"She had hurt her leg trying to get Lacy off from a tree, her phone was out of batteries and so the students took turns to pull her and Lacy in her sled all the way to our home!"

"Oh! I see. Wait, what?"

"Oh. Forgot to mention! I and Lynn have a new daughter now!"

"Not again...I mean...congratulations!"

"Thanks!"

Lynn senior thought for a few moments. "Alright, I'll inform my colleagues about the situation and pick the kids up."

"Awesome! I'll speak to you when you get here."

"Bye!", said Lincoln, ending a call and putting his phone away. He turned to Lynn!

"Senior will be here shortly."

"When students are picked up, I'll notify the school staff. Hopefully, I won't get fired."

"You know what you will get through? Parental leave! By the way, I'll watch over the kids in the meantime." Lincoln went outside. "Hey, kids! A van is going to pick you up shortly. In the meantime..." Lincoln picked up some snow. "Snowball fight!"

As snowballs started flying. Everyone in the house had already arrived in the living room, listening to Lynn's story, holding a baby or taking pictures.

"Baby!", said Liby!

"New niece? Neato!"

Loan looked disappointed. "Why is she a girl again? Why don't we have any boys?"

After Loan held Lacy, she asked. "Lynn, why is there so much noise?"

"There is a snowball fight outside."

Loan ran to entrance room to peek through windows. Ever since porch had been repurposed into other rooms, they couldn't see the front directly from the living room or kitchen.

What Loan saw, sent her mixed feelings. She liked snowball fights but she was afraid to play with other children. Suddenly, she saw Vanzilla stopping in front of the house. As Vanzilla arrived, it got pelted with snowballs.

Lincoln informed his father more about the situation. Every student soon hopped inside and Vanzilla drove away just as quickly as it arrived.

* * *

Lincoln was proud just how well-prepared they were. He quickly got back inside. However, he was even more prepared this time.

This time, they had to call the doctors only to notify what had happened in birth registration purposes. "Looks like attending the medical seminar paid off." Lincoln started checking Lacy's health. Meanwhile, Lisa took hair samples from Lacy and went downstairs.

After a check-up, Lincoln addressed the family.

"She's in great health! She didn't suffer any frostbite. She's a bit fidgety though."

Family cheered!

Lincoln placed Lacy on the ground. Lacy tried crawling on her stomach.

"That's...early! Usually, they won't start doing that until they're at least a few months old"

Lisa came back from downstairs.

"Gene modifications are rather small here. She has greatly increased motor skills and early motor skill development. Increased activity during bright light conditions. In other words, she'll be a very active kid."

"So...she'll be like... Superlynn?"

Lacy started shuffling herself towards Lynn.

"Come here, Lacy! You can do this!"

Lacy finally reached Lynn who then gave her a hug!

Luna spoke up: "Yup! You indeed have a very active baby! If it was any other of us being a mother, I'd send condolences."

Lisa was also clearly pleased that Lacy was not entirely a "normal" baby.

Loan had an idea. "I saw kids playing with snowballs in our front yard. Can we all have a snowball fight in the evening?"

* * *

As the day progressed, the rest of the family members got back home. As kids got back home, they revealed that third-grade students who were with Lynn had told others what had happened inside the forest. Meanwhile, Lisa had disclosed front door footage from a security camera that showed Lynn Junior arriving with the class.

"Also, a few ancient poems had been resurrected from its graves again.", said Lucy. "Shall I read them?"

The family gave her a go.

"Here goes. Sigh. First one: Incest is the best to put your brother to the test. The second one is: Lynn and Lincoln are sitting on a tree. K-I-S-S-I-N-G."

Some of the family laughed, some cringed. Lynn was a bit angry.

"Going to be tough times when I return."

* * *

In the evening, Lacy finally went to sleep with Rita and Lynn Junior watching over her. The rest of the family gathered outside to celebrate Lacy's arrival with a snowball fight. Snowballs flew everywhere.

Lyra had an idea: "Hey! I have an idea! The one who gets hit by snowballs the most is the winner!"

Snowballs stopped. Suddenly, Leni got hit by a snowball.

"I'll make sure my favorite aunt wins!" claimed Loan. A few seconds passed and then Loan herself got hit by a snowball thrown by Lyra.

"I'll make sure my favorite sister wins!"

Snowballs started flying again. Some threw their snowball at Lincoln, some threw at nieces, some at aunts, some between mothers and daughters, you name it.

When night arrived, Lincoln visited Lynn's bedroom who had taken Lacy with her.

"Here! Catch!" She threw Lacy towards Lincoln.

"WHOA! Careful!"

Lincoln still managed to catch Lacy. Lynn realized her mistake.

"Sorry. I guess I got too used to playing catch with kids."

Lincoln placed Lacy back on the bed.

"So...you've actually had a plan before becoming a mother?" Asked Lincoln.

"Well, I did become a gym class teacher."

"So, your plan gonna train your daughter to be the best athlete there is?"

"No! Second best! I don't want to get beaten by her!"

"I know what you haven't planned for! Taking care of babies."

"Oh...I kind of forgot. But that's just the first two years! Hmm…". Lynn started to think. "But that's what my sisters are for!"

Lincoln had another idea:

"Or...I could make "Best mother to my daughter" competition."

"Hey! That's not fair!"

"But don't you want to turn everything into a competition?"

"I would turn this into a competition but that would be cheating on my sister's part! By the way, Linc! I know what you're not prepared for!"

Lynn gave Lincoln a noogie.

"Ouch! Stop it! Oh well. You're still Lynn I remember!"

Lynn laughed. Lincoln continued.

"You know, just be glad that having most babies with your brother being delivered to you isn't a national sport!"

Both of them laughed.

If that had been the case, the house would have been very cramped indeed.

* * *

 **Not proud of this chapter. It feels rushed despite me having most trouble with it. Should I speed up the following three?**


	7. Parachute

Chapter 7 Parachute

* * *

Only two months had passed. Lynn's foot got healed within days and after her parental leave, she returned to school although Lynn and Lincoln jokes still lingered around. Not much had really changed.

It was a silent foggy afternoon day in early spring. A bit of snow was still present. For that evening, the family had arranged an interview with a magazine reporter, something that the family accepted about once a year. This was going to be the centerpiece article of the next month's issue as well, meaning that it would take at least four pages of space. Lori and her parents were currently at work, the rest of the gang was inside the house.

* * *

Loan was helping Lana in the basement to remove more soil for another room. At this point they were getting close to finishing one side of the basement. Lana did the digging while Loan carried buckets of dirt upstairs out of the house through the backyard door. It went better than they both expected with Loan spilling only one bucket out of five. Lana was working quicker this time due to Lacy needing a new room. Lacy was currently living in Lynn's room.

"You're doing great work, miss! Seeing you walk on those dirty stairs makes me jealous."

Lana was shocked. "Me...praised at doing good work? Can't...compute!"

"Soon we'll be laying down the walls and then this side of basement will be done!" She looked at rats next to her. "Bitey and Teethy no 5, I know you want to help me digging but you may easily get crushed. If you don't go back to your room, I'll call Liena!"

The rats quickly ran back to Lana's room.

* * *

Lincoln and Liena were in Lucy's room, reminiscing old times. They were currently looking through Lincoln's hand-drawn comics. They started reading the adventures of Full House Gang. Lincoln cringed at some parts while Lucy laughed and Liena...well...sort of laughed.

"I can't believe I used so much toilet humor."

"Pfff. The Deuce! Diaper bombs! What was in your mind when you were writing this?"

"I kinda regret making that comic."

"I know what I'm going to call Lily." texted Liena.

"Don't!", said Lincoln and Lucy together.

After they read through more comics, it was Lucy's turn: "Now that I laid down my deck of cards, it's your time to show Liena what kind of dark secrets your chest contains."

"But...these are too dark secrets for mankind to know."

"A deal is a deal."

Lucy pulled out a chest with skulls underneath her bed, sighed and took out a key. She was feeling very nervous. Lucy then slowly opened the chest. What Liena saw, were Princess Pony comics and some of Lucy's handwritings. Liena read the title of writing:

"Princess Pony meets Slenderman!"

Liena started repeatedly tapping . . . ./ . _ with her fingers.

"Hahaha! Very funny! Sarcasm." responded Lucy whose face was much redder than usual.

Liena started going skimming through the rest of the contents in the box, especially through Lucy's fanfiction. They ranged from grimdark poems to sickeningly sweet stories. There were even a few shipping stories. Lucy tried to stop Liena.

"Do you know what you're getting into? The knowledge of these comics have the power to punish innocent souls as it happened nine years ago."

Lincoln replied: "But they also have a power to give a lot of extra allowance for punished souls once the truth comes out as it happened seven years ago."

"Shiver. They also can send the owner of these possessions to depression once the dark truth is revealed. Princess Pony is not sunshine and rainbows as it first seems. That's why these comics are usually behind this locker, away from prying eyes."

"Don't be ashamed", said Liena with a text card and gave Lucy a hug.

Lincoln asked Lucy: "Were there even news somewhere about a guy being bullied for carrying a bag of Princess Pony to school?"

"You prove my point!"

They chatted more about their comics and writings until Liena told that she was going to play outside with Loan and enjoy going swinging under the big tree in a foggy weather.

"Just remember to wear warm clothing!" reminded Lincoln as Liena left the room.

* * *

Half an hour had passed. Liena and Loan were taking turns at swinging and pushing the one on the swing. Meanwhile, Leni was sewing new clothes for Liby in her room on the second floor. Obviously she made the clothes larger to take account Liby's future growth.

Suddenly, Leni heard a sound of something soft landing on the roof and her room went blue. She waved her hand in front of her eyes and blinked just to make sure. The room was still blue.

"I can't see red and green anymore! Help…" but as she ran out the door, everything went normal. "Oh, never mind!". She went back inside. "Help! I can't see red and green again! Oh...it's just the window!"

Others on the second floor also heard the sound of something landing on the roof. Liena ran inside and up the stairs to inform the people what happened. Meanwhile, Loan went to get the basement dwellers. Soon the crowd had gathered in the front yard, some with phones to take pictures. They saw the front side of roof being covered by a blue parachute. They also found the payload which was a cluster of colorful inflatable beach balls. Despite the seeming bounciness of the payload, one of the balls managed to get stuck on a lighting rod the family had installed on a chimney five years before.

Liena decided to use communication shortcuts. She pointed at herself, her eyes, parachute and the sky.

"Did you see the plane or something that dropped it?" asked Lola.

Loan pointed at the sky. "It was foggy and cloudy. I heard but I did not see a plane. Did the drop another baby?"

"So soon after Lacy? Maybe, maybe not."

Lincoln looked at the ball cluster and remembered those space-related articles he had read. "Hey, this is how some rovers were delivered on Mars! Well, except the last parts were without the parachute."

Luna asked: "So, who wants to bring this Gift From The Sky down?"

Lynn was up to the challenge. "The first one to reach the thing on the chimney is the winner!"

"You already win. I mean, the payload is a lot of bouncy balls and you love those things."

"Leni, can you hold Lacy in the meantime? Miss Spooky, can you give me a lift?"

Lucy had a massive growth spurt during those nine years, resulting her being about a head taller than her father. This height came in handy as she gave Lynn a lift who then got up on a former porch roof. Lynn then started climbing the rest of the way to the top, skillfully avoiding the parachute and parachute lines. She reached the chimney's lightning rod without too many problems.

Lynn examined the payload. It was indeed a cluster of beach balls tied together with a lot of tape. There was something inside the series of beach balls. One of the beach balls had partially deflated as it was impaled by lightning rod. Fortunately, the impaled ball wasn't one of the ones in the center.

"Jeez! How sharp is this lighting rod? This could have ended really bad!"

She detached the payload from the parachute. Meanwhile, Lana had managed to bring a tall ladder and place it against the left wall so Lynn could climb down easily.

"Oh. That would have worked as well...but...umm...where's the challenge in that?"

Lynn then looked inside the payload again. What she managed to tell the between the gaps, it definitely looked like a baby inside a blanket. She decided to bring the baby down inside the beach balls as she was afraid it might have been difficult to climb down with it. Lynn then yanked the ball cluster off the lightning rod.

Lynn called the people below:

"Gather up in front and be sure to catch it!"

"It's a bit...ball-sy move!". Annoyed groans were heard.

"Ready? Dropping the payload on the count of three! Three, two, one, CATCH!"

Lynn gently dropped the payload on the front slope of the roof where it started rolling down. Others tried to catch it. Despite what some feared, they caught it instead of it bouncing off to the street.

"That was kind of anticlimatic."

Lynn started to climb down the house via ladder, retroactively thinking that it would have been better idea to keep the payload attached to parachute so it wouldn't had rolled on the street, had the others failed to catch it. Meanwhile, everyone started examining the payload.

* * *

Lincoln said to Lucy: "It's probably yours and mine."

Everyone started getting the tape off. Once the beach balls came loose enough, they finally saw what was inside. Like always, a baby, inside a blanket...with a note. Loan started to read: "Sex F. Father, Lincoln Loud. Mother: Lucy Loud. See?" Then Lincoln noticed that the baby was currently not awake and her skin color was...off.

Lincoln became alarmed. "I'm going to get her inside pronto. Emergency health check! Leni, open up the supply box and be sure to bring breathing mask!"

Family ran inside. Leni and Lucy quickly ran to the basement while the rest went to the living room. The first thing Lincoln checked was baby's pulse and breathing. Leni and Lucy returned to the basement just as Lincoln finished checking baby's vital signs.

"Looks like breathing mask is not needed. She's breathing normally and her heart rate is a-ok! Seems that she is drugged drugged just like Liena was. Guess it's time for a routine health check-up."

Everyone felt a bit easier, Leni put away the breathing mask and Lucy put away the casket she had readied just in case. With rush to see if baby was ok, Lincoln hadn't noticed other details about the new baby but now he started to notice.

"She's much heavier than last five children I had. She's also a bit taller."

Lana examined the note that was discarded with a blanket: "She's a stale one! About two months old! I mean, she even looks stale."

Lola noticed the date as well. "Hey, according to this date, this baby and Lacy are about a week apart! Kinda ironic, considering that Lynn and Lucy were born 5 years apart."

As Lincoln continued health check and Lisa took DNA samples yet again, the family was concerned that her skin tone would indicate that she still might have problems. Lincoln still came to a conclusion that it's probably just something inherited from Lucy.

Lincoln noticed her hair! "And only now I notice that! White hair, just like I do! Awesome! It's like they didn't even need to tell us who the parents are!" Lincoln then lifted baby's eyelid.

"She's got yellow eyes!"

Lincoln noticed Lucy's smile.

"So, pale skin, white hair and yellow eyes! We have a vampire daughter! Best! Day! Ever!"

Lincoln finally finished baby's health check-up and came to a conclusion:

"At first glance, she's healthy! Her heart beats normally and she breathes normally. Hopefully her skin and eye colors are...just cosmetic. Guess now we just have to wait for Lisa's DNA tests."

"Phew!" said almost everyone.

Soon, baby was wrapped up again and pictures were taken. These were some of the few photos where Lucy smiled, especially with the picture featuring her, infant and Lincoln. Lucy wanted to speak to Lincoln:

"Lincoln, can you go downstairs with me? Everyone else, you can hold this new soul in the meantime. Hopefully she wakes up soon."

* * *

Lincoln and Lucy went to Lucy's room. Lucy felt a bit nervous.

"What's the problem? Where's your smile gone?", asked Lincoln.

"She arrived so soon! I was only going to start preparing next year!"

Lincoln also realized that this is the first time after Lori when his co-parent was under eighteen.

"Come on! Stay calm! Remember! I was eleven when I got my first one!"

"No. I mean...I haven't got a name for our daughter."

"Oh! Guess it's time to get to work then!"

They started looking at Lovecraft's works in inspiration, then mythological animals, then real animals, then Edgar Allen Poe's works. After five minutes, one of the words drew their attention.

"Lucy, this might be something! Latin name of a wolf is Lupus. What about...?"

"...Lupa?"

"I think we hit the jackpot!"

"Lupa Loud! Our little vampire!"

"Guess that's settled! Also, you think that whoever makes these babies waited for this exact day to drop her off?"

Lucy thought for a bit. "It was a moody and silent day. The fog encapsulated the town. Perfect weather to drop her off exactly where they planned while remaining unseen. And yet they had to ruin it!"

"Ruin it?"

"With a bright blue parachute and colorful beach balls!"

Lincoln laughed.

"So, how does it feel to be a mother now?"

"I feel a burden of responsibilities crawling on me."

"Come on! Don't be so moody! There, there!". Lincoln hugged Lucy and gave her a pat on the back.

"Hey! Stop it! I am the night!" Lucy sighed and then whispered to Lincoln's ear: "Okay. I can be sunshine as well. But only if you don't tell anyone about it."

"So, now that we have a name for our daughter, do you feel confident to go back upstairs?"

"Let's ascend the stairs!"

* * *

They quickly went back up to the first floor. Lupa had woken up. Lincoln and Lucy waved at her. Lupa smiled back.

After a few moments, Lisa came back with DNA results.

"Indeed, the DNA analysis indicate that the pigmentation of the skin is inherited from maternal lineage. The yellow irises are a result of an artificial gene modification. In addition, one of the modified genes also indicate that this specimen is going to have elongated maxillary canine teeth."

"So, in layman's terms, fangs?"

"Affirmative."

Lucy was ecstatic. "This is amazing! Anyway, we have an announcement to make! The name of the new member of our grand lineage shall be known as...Lupa Loud!"

The room was filled with applause.

After that, Lynn started calling the usual people to tell them what happened: Parents, Lori, police, and doctors. At this point, this procedure was kind of routine.

* * *

Evening came and the family was in a living room, preparing for the interview. Vanzilla and another car stopped simultaneously in front of a house. While Rita, Lynn Senior and Lori came out from Vanzilla, a woman came out from the new car.

"Hello! This is Ms. Oaks from US Family Magazine."

Lori, Lynn Senior and Rita greeted her back and apologized for being late.

"So this is the location of the big family of eighteen."

"Nineteen. We just literally had another one."

"It's like they're falling from the sky!" Ms. Oaks noticed a parachute on a roof. "Wait...why is there a parachute? Don't tell me that new one actually fell from the sky?"

"Well, yes. Looks like they forgot to remove the parachute from the roof."

After quick explanation what happened, Lori, her parents and Ms. Oaks went inside. They were greeted by the rest of the family and kids. After everyone introduced themselves and sat down, Ms. Oaks spoke:

"Shall we begin? So, Miss Rita Loud: What was your initial reaction when you became a grandmother?"

"I was angry, I was panicking. These were tough times. I mean, we already had 11 children to take care of but the first one was kind of new."

She continued talking about why they decided to not raise her granddaughters like daughters, not hide the origins of their parents from them and how it eventually paid off.

Mr. Oaks then turned to Lynn Senior asking if the family is prepared in case a new child unexpectedly arrives. He told her about how well prepared they are on the occasion with all the essentials needed. Both parents also told them how proud of their children they were.

Ms. Oaks then asked Lori: "So…Lori, what was your reaction when your daughter arrived at your doorstep?"

"It was literally mad! I had a boyfriend already! I was only seventeen, Lincoln was only eleven! I didn't want to talk to anyone, especially people like you. It wasn't until I got a job when I finally calmed down. Now I'm sort of the breadwinner of the family."

"Or you could say...in-breadwinner!"

"Ah shut up, Luan! Well, I'm the largest source of family income right now."

"If you...incest! Get it?"

"I get it! And it's the seventeenth time you've said it today. At least seventeenth time I've heard it today."

Interview continued. Leni talked about difficulties of having a legally mute child but kept repeating how how proud she is of her to the point where Liena told her to stop. Luna talked about how children, especially her own, had influenced her music career and songs. Luan talked about the day she became a mother on Lincoln's 18th birthday and how jar-ring experience it was. Lynn told what plans she had for raising her daughter to be the 2nd best all around. Lincoln spoke about how it felt to become a father at the age of eleven and how weird it is to be a 20-year old virgin who is a father with his six sisters."

"So...where is the new mother Lucy?"

"I'm Here!" as Lucy suddenly appeared behind ms. Oaks screamed. Seems that Lucy had changed into a more elegant outfit.

"Anyway, what kind of twisted questions did you want to ask me?"

"About the daughter you just had. How do you feel?"

"I knew this dreaded day would come. I just did not expect it so soon." She continued about how much more appropriate it would have been to receive a daughter during a dark and stormy night. When Lucy was done, Ms. Oaks addressed the family again.

"So, shall we continue with the younger siblings and what they think of the situation? So, which one is next?"

"ME!" said Lola and Lana together.

After a bit of persuasion, Lola was first to answer. She told that if serial breeder ever combined her and Lincoln's DNA, she'd make sure to raise the child to become her rightful heir. Lana said that she'd play her part of expanding a house if she'd ever have a child with Lincoln. Lisa wished that her and Lincoln's hypothetical child would not be boring. Oak's face changed when others explained what Lisa meant when she said not wanting to have a boring child. Finally Lily promised that she'd remain a good aunt but she herself did not want to have a child with Lincoln. She was also sad that her siblings cannot marry.

"Shall we interview kids as well?"

"No!"

"Come on, Lori! What are you afraid of? That I say that you're disappointed in me and my grades?"

"Yes! I mean...no! I mean, yes!"

Liena then used her text to voice program that she's excited to get a normal voice within a few years. Lyra just told Oaks that she misses her mother when she's out on tours but she's tired when she goes on tours with her mother. Liby, Lacy and Lupa were not interviewed due to them being too young.

Finally, photos of family members and the entire family were taken.

"You can read the interview in our next monthly issue. Have you subscribed to US Family Magazine?"

"Yes. I read it!" said Lola.

"Good! Anyway, have a nice evening!"

Family waved at Ms. Oaks as she left.

* * *

After dinner, family decided to do a beach ball party with all the beach balls that came with Lupa. Lana even fixed the impaled one with duct tape that used to tie beach balls together.

"Get a baby vampire, receive twenty four beach balls and a parachute for free!", said Lynn senior.

"I'll take two!" replied Luan!

"Two of what? Beach balls or babies?"

Lynn then did trickshots with beach balls down the stairs. All but Liby, Lacy and Lupa then proceeded to gather into two teams of eight at the opposite ends of the second floor hallway to try and see which team ended up with more beach balls on the opponent's side. That fell apart as the balls started to fall downstairs and ultimately the competition moved to the first floor and then into the basement. Surprisingly, during the process, only two items in the kitchen were almost broken as they were accidentally kicked over.

Lucy then said that the mood was a bit too light for her child being born and proposed others to change into Halloween costumes and go to the basement to celebrate. Despite the weirdness of the request, they did so. Lincoln changed into his vampire costume Leni made him two years ago. They decided to play music as well. Lola took out a tablet and started to play dark waltz to fit the mood.

Then suddenly Lucy stepped towards Lincoln and did a curtsy:

"Shall we dance?"

Lincoln was a bit surprised at first but then bowed:

"Hit the beat, Luna!"

Luna quickly went to her room and brought out her guitar and started playing with the music coming from Lola's tablet. Despite Lincoln and Lucy keeping a slight distance between each other, they both were surprisingly good at waltz.

After the waltz ended, Lincoln bowed again, Lucy did a curtsy again and applause was heard. Now Lynn Senior and Rita wanted to join with the new parent pair as well. Then every Lincoln's co-parent wanted to join Lincoln. Then rest of Lincoln's sisters and four oldest Lincoln's children started to surround them. Ultimately, the whole thing turned into a chaotic and twisted form of conga line that started from the basement and finally ended in Lily's room.

Soon after that, the party ended and everyone went to their rooms. Before Lucy went to her room, Lincoln asked: "So, how did you like the evening? It wasn't as dark as you wanted."

"Still had fun! Though how well would we work as parents? How to test the waters?"

"What about telling a bedtime story to our daughter?"

"Lupa can't understand us yet."

"Then...we'll use someone else."

* * *

At night, Lupa was taken to her grandparents' room again like most kids were during their first night. Meanwhile, in Lucy's room, Lucy and Lincoln started telling a bedtime story to Lyra who had laid down on Lucy's bed on her side.

Lucy started with the story: "This one is an ancient European folklore, dating back to last millennium! Anyway...A girl was sitting inside a house in her bedroom, reading a book. It was dark outside. Suddenly she heard a man's voice from the radio."

Lincoln did a low distorted voice. "A disembodied black hand is in your town."

Lucy continued to narrate. "The girl was scared but continued reading. Then, she heard the voice from her radio again."

Lincoln, with a low distorted voice, spoke again: "A disembodied black hand is in your house."

"Suddenly the lights went dark.". Lincoln turned off the night light, making Lucy's room pitch-black. "The girl started to get really scared. Then, she heard a voice from that radio yet again…"

"The black hand is on your floor."

Lucy continued: "The girl was too scared to even move. Then...she heard a door opening ever so slightly but with a loud creak." Lincoln slowly opened the creaking bedroom door slightly and then closed it. Lucy's door was the one that creaked the loudest, probably because she made sure to make it was rusty. Lucy continued again: "Then the girl heard the voice from radio for the fourth time."

"The disembodied black hand is in your room.". Lincoln was more quiet this time but closer to Lyra's ear who was now also too scared to move.

"The girl heard the sounds of fingers moving across the wall. "Lucy started softly tapping her fingers across the walls. "The girl looked around but couldn't see anything. Then the radio spoke again..."

Lincoln did the gruff and distorted voice for the final time: "A disembodied black hand...is right behind you...aaand it starts craaaawling up your back and IT COMES ANDSTARTSTOSTRANGLEYOU!" with Lucy quickly running her hand up of Lyra's back and then tapping Lyra's neck with her fingers.

Lyra screamed and quickly ran out the door. Lincoln and Lucy laughed.

"That was fun!"

"The Prince of Darkness: he's been living with me all along."


	8. Vanzilla

Chapter 8: Vanzilla

* * *

Since the celebration of Lupa's descent, life went on. Family and kids went through health inspection with the rest of the doorstop babies to see what kind effects the combinations of their ancestry and gene modifications had on kids' health. This resulted in a few science papers from science institutes, especially from Royal Woods Science Institute.

Soon after Lupa arrived, Lana managed to complete one side of a basement. She realized that all the mechanical equipment was now cramped at the remaining part of the basement. Family decided the next time they were going to expand on the surface level and above.

Loan stayed at homeschool. Lori noticed that Loan's section of a trophy case was empty and told her that by the age of 11, even Lincoln had won a few trophies. This made Loan sad.

Lyra was the first to enter a normal school, being Royal Woods Joint School. She showed good musical talent and, in contrast to her mother, she started to prefer classical music instead.

Liena finally got a normal voice as well. It was still slurred but it made communicating with others much quicker. Old habits die hard though and she still used other methods to communicate, especially when talking to multiple people. She planned to go to normal school as well.

Lacy turned out to be a very active child indeed. She never seemed to get tired during daylight.

Meanwhile, Lupa did grow fangs. They weren't the longest ones but Lucy was still impressed.

Liby turned out to be just an average kid at least in terms of personality. Luan hoped it wouldn't stay that for long.

Lincoln finally got a 'regular' job at home by drawing commissioned work. Working at home allowed him taking care of kids at the same time. Luan also finally got a job as a performer. At children's birthday parties and cringe comedy shows.

Lola and Lana made were now both anticipating a child. They also came up with names for their future children in advance. Lola looked at the list of fictional princesses and settled with Leia. Meanwhile, Lana chose Lizy after lizards. They even made a 200 dollar bet of who gets to be a mother of the next child.

Two and a half years after Lupa, Vanzilla (and consequently, Lynn Senior) suffered a major breakdown. Lynn senior felt completely devastated and even asked Lucy to arrange an event to ceremoniously bury the remains of Vanzilla. Lisa and Lana managed to secretly salvage parts of Vanzilla. They repaired the parts, repurposed them and added some parts of their own. The result was a modular van. They also added a few extra functions that got past Lisa's prototype phase. When they first showed the main part of the of the shorter van which had driver's and adjacent passenger's seat and only a single row of passenger seats behind, Lynn Senior was happy enough. However, when Lana and Lisa brought and attached some modules to Vanzilla and demonstrated the full capabilities of the van to Lynn Senior, he was to the happiest man in the world.

* * *

And so, about 3 years after Lupa, the family then went off on a 2-day summer trip to Lake Superior.

"One, two, three, four and five passenger seat row modules. And a luggage module. And another luggage module. That ought to be enough!"

With all these modules, now an 18-wheeler Vanzilla was a sight to behold.

"Seems that everything that happens just draws attention to us. First: Me, your mother with eleven kids, then kids of Lincoln and his sisters and now my van! What's next? This very house?"

"I'll bet 100$ on that." Said Lola.

Lynn Senior preemptively handed her 100$.

Family made sure to bring everything they might need: Beach balls, raincoats, extra clothes, caskets, five pairs of sunglasses, supplies and DNA machine in case of extra baby delivery, wrenches, sleeping bags, mosquito repellents, drone repellents, you name it. And so, in the early morning, Vanzilla began its trip towards Lake Superior.

They had a few incidents. About 60 kilometers in, Lynn Senior accidentally pressed the hydraulics bounce button. Family had a lot of fun although a bouncing 18-wheeler did indeed draw a lot of attention, fortunately not from authorities. All those hydraulics did consume a lot of fuel so the Lynn Senior activated manual pedals that most of the family used to gather the enough energy until the next gas station. When the gas tank was filled up again, it turned out that somebody had accidentally opened the cover of second module detachment button. Lynn senior accidentally pressed it, resulting only two rows of seats behind him starting to continue the trip with him and Rita. Fortunately, the mistake was quickly discovered and modules were reattached.

Lincoln and Luna were listening to Lemuel Hegemony: One of the few rock bands still around. They were tired of electronic music, pop, foamstep and other music of the 20s. Lori didn't like those two singing and most others joining them but Lori was reminded that sometimes they had to tolerate Lori's singing. Liena was happy to sing along even if she could sing only one note. Guess she'd be a drone just like the one that delivered Lyra, Liena thought to herself.

"What does bbcb mean?"

"Mahm, i'mm jst tahping to rhyytm."

* * *

They finally reached the sandy shores of Lake Superior, parked their van and went to the beach. Some started playing with beach balls, some went to swimming, some started sunbathing. Obviously, they had a lot fo beach balls.

Meanwhile, Luan had spent fifteen minutes digging a deep hole in the sand and asked: "Hey, Lori? Can I burrow Loan?"

Lori was amused. "Let me guess: You dug that hole just to make that pun?"

"Yes!"

"You know, Luan, I'm kind of impressed."

"Actually, hole'd it! I'll get her myself!"

Luan went for a walk. She finally found Loan in her usual attire.

"Loan, why are you wearing a sweater and sweatpants?"

"It's windy!"

"You don't want to go swimming?"

"No. It's wet!"

"No it's...wait. You kind of have a point."

Meanwhile, Liby had a problem.

"My tooth is coming out!"

Lincoln was a bit surprised. "Already? But you're just five!"

"Can I punch her tooth out?"

"No, Lupa! You can't punch her tooth out. Here, Liby. Let me get the tooth out instead. Now open your...wait...you don't need to open your mouth."

He then grabbed her tooth. Liby was nervous.

"Now hold still while I..."

"Can you give me the tooth once you're done?"

Liby jumped and came off from her tooth which ended up right between Lincoln's fingers.

"Here you go, Lucy! Thanks for making it fast." Lincoln then handed her the tooth.

"No problem. I'll put it with the others." She took out a box with tens of other teeth and added the new one to her collection. Meanwhile, Lincoln tried to calm Liby down as Lupa watched.

"Don't cry, Liby!"

"I want my tooth back!"

"Liby, I'll promise you! If you get older, you'll get the biggest, the grandest and the strongest teeth in this family!"

"Promise?"

"I'll promise you. Now calm down."

"If I don't get the biggest teeth, you will regret it!"

Lincoln and Lucy laughed.

* * *

Evening came and the family spent the night at the lake shore. They did what your average family of nineteen would do. Eat, continue playing tag, hide and seek, sit by the campfire, sing songs, and so on. Lyra had fun with her 3-string violin which was turned into 2-string after some careless bowing. With two strings, she started playing much better with no one telling her to stop and when Luna joined in, everyone joined singing as well.

"Lesson learned: Don't give Lyra an odd-stringed violin."

When night arrived, everyone went to sleep in four tents and a van. Lyra was in the tent with Leni.

"Aunt Leni, how did you feel when you first met my father?"

"I mean, it was totally exiting. It's our first brother after all? Oh...it's my only brother."

"I wish I had a brother. Loan also wants a brother."

"I totally wish I had a brother as well!"

"But you have a brother!"

"Really? That's totes amazing! Where is he?"

Lyra's facepalm reflex was activated.

* * *

Next morning, everyone woke up again, packed their stuff and after Lupa had breathed her daily dose of exhaust gases from Vanzilla, the family went off again. At noon, the arrived at their last major stop before heading home: a forest about halfway between the lake Superior and Royal Woods. They parked a car on a remote road inside a forest to go on a wild adventure. Luan told others to that she'll come ten minutes after them.

Soon Luan caught up with the rest of the group, snuck up on them and scared them with bear mask that had moose horns. However, Luan wasn't thinking her whole plan through and had to wear the mask for the rest of the trip.

Lacy, despite her young age, was picking up and eating berries she found like nobody's business. It inspired the adults to start picking up berries as well. Lisa picked up mushrooms instead, some for eating and the rest for her own personal experiments later on. Meanwhile, Liby had fun being carried by Lana who went through the swampiest parts of the forest while most others tried to go around (or jump over, in Lynn's case), Liena was clearly losing weight from all that hiking, Lupa discovered a wild beehive and had fun poking it, causing the rest of the family aside from Lana to run away in panic. Lola and Loan didn't feel so comfortable in the forest even though Loan was probably dressed most appropriately for the occasion.

* * *

It was starting to get cloudy so the family decided to return early, despite Lacy's protests. Loan was obviously happy to finally return home. Luan was happy as well as it meant she didn't have to carry her mask anymore. When the family finally got back to forest road again and Vanzilla in the distance came to view, they noticed that one of its doors was open.

"Luan! Why did you leave the door open? Another one of your pranks?"

Luan was panicking. "It wasn't me this time! I even door-ble checked to make sure it was locked!"

Luan's forced pun was met with signs and groans.

"But why is the door open then?"

Lynn Senior became immediately alarmed: "Theft?"

"Oh no! I'll go check it out!" Lynn started to sprint towards Vanzilla before anyone else.

"Mom! Wait!"

The rest of the family had reached halfway point to Vanzilla when Lynn already disappeared into the van to look if something was missing. When the rest of the family arrived, her head popped out of the van to announce: "Nothing has been stolen! In fact, there's someone inside."

"A drunkard, bum or a burglar?" asked Lynn Senior.

Lynn disappeared into the van again and quickly showed the family who was inside: a baby inside a blanket who was asleep.

"We got ourselves a new offspring."

"Again? Wow! I mean...great!"

Lola and Lana got excited.

Lynn announced: "Guess who the parents are! Let me give you half of the answer. Father is Lincoln Loud! Congratulations!"

"Same old, same old. Thanks...I guess."

"Now guess who the mother is!"

"Me?" Lana asked hopefully.

"No! Me!" disagreed Lola.

Half of the crowd said Lola, half of them said Lana.

Lyra had grown impatient. "Come on! Tell us already!"

Lynn looked at the twins. "It's neither of you."

"What?"

Lynn then showed the note. The note read:

"Sex: M, Mother: Luna Loud. Father: Lincoln Loud."

Everyone was surprised. "Me again? Wait...and it's a lad this time?"

Lynn handed the baby to Luna. "Congratulations, Luna!"

Luna held him. She didn't know what to say. She looked at the cloudy dense forest they were in.

"Welcome To The Jungle, son! Hope you enjoy your stay!"

Some went "aww.".

Lyra finally realized..."I have a brother now?"

"Yes, Lyra! Now you have."

"Gimme!" She grabbed the baby from Luna's hands. "Wake up!"

Her brother opened his eyes.

"Look how cute he is! I'm so gonna take care of him."

"Umm...can you give him to me for a bit when you're done?" asked Loan.

* * *

And so, the usual happened with baby being exchanged from person to person, accompanied by photos being taken. About halfway, first raindrops started to fall so everyone got inside the van where the process continued.

"I knew the baby box thingy would come in handy!" said Leni as she went to the luggage modules. She was glad that luggage modules existed and she didn't need to climb on the roof. Lisa followed her and brought out her DNA analysis machine.

The rain started to pick up as Lincoln started his now-routine health check and Lisa took hair samples yet again. This time every member of the family was calmer while health inspection was underway and the DNA analysis machine hummed. Perhaps it was because they knew the new child was going to be ok, maybe it was the calming sounds of rain and the machine. Perhaps because of all of them.

Rita explained the kinship to her grandchildren: "For Lyra, he is indeed her brother. For the rest of you, kids, he's your half-brother and cousin."

Lacy wasn't pleased. "Not fair!"

Liby was happier. "Isn't it better? Both half-brother and cousin to me while Lyra only gets to have a brother!"

Rita told that kids that it was ok for all of them to just call him brother.

Meanwhile, Lynn Senior was the one who was making calls this time. As the entire family was in the van, he didn't need to inform anyone else but authorities and also to register his grandson's birth date and location. They only now looked at 'extraction date' which was three weeks ago. This time birth location was different as well, being Common Rooster State Forest Area.

Lincoln had finished the health check. "We have some good news! There seems to be nothing wrong with him!"

"High five, bro!" Luna and Lincoln did a high five.

The parents of the new son were congratulated by the rest of the family.

"Hey, bro, I have an idea. Last time I was the one who named our daughter. What about this time, you name our son?"

"Oh...that's...I think I actually thinking about the name. What about naming him...after the band...hmm... Lemuel Hegemony?"

"I like your way of thinkin'!"

"What about...Lemy?" proposed Lincoln. Others silently nodded.

"That name actually...rocks! Let's pick that name like I pick my guitar!"

"So...another high five time?". Lincoln readied his hand. He indeed received a high five from Luna.

Lina's DNA analysis machine stopped humming. She said she got the data she wanted and it was safe to start the vehicle.

Lynn junior was a bit worried. "Let's see! We are in the middle of a forest, it's raining and we just had a new family member. What could go wrong?"

"Car engine breaking down?" guessed Rita.

Lana took a guess. "Us getting stuck in a mud? Oh...would that be a good thing?"

"Vanzilla being out of gas? I mean, we have pedals installed on modules but still." guessed Lincoln.

"I like pedals." said Lacy who preferred using pedals whenever she was inside the van.

"Khhar beeng on fhiire aan exploodng?" proposed Liena.

"Modules getting detached?" guessed Lily. "I mean, we can just pull down module walls and wait out the rain but still."

Lynn Senior said he was scared now.

Both Lynns kept their fingers crossed as Lynn senior turned the key. The car engine started. However, despite the engine keeping humming, a bang was heard and black smoke started to rise from the car engine.

"Oh no!" "Why?" and "Oh, come on!" were heard.

"Wait…maybe it'll get better."

Before anyone could get out, the black smoke was replaced by rainbow-colored smoke.

"Surprise! It was just a prank!" Luan then pressed the car horn that activated pair of giant party horns she had secretly installed on top of the vehicle.

After family had a laugh, they got suspicious.

"Luan, are you sure that Lemy wasn't part of the prank?"

"No! I swear. In-fant, when I left the van, the door was locked the last time I loo-cked. Whoever did this moose-t bear-eally aware of where we go."

"We live to suffer."

* * *

Vanzilla started driving towards Royal Woods and they got to main road without a problem. The mood was generally cheerful. Lisa was looking at her tablet and analyzed Lemy's DNA.

Lincoln asked Luna who was feeding Lemy with a milk bottle: "Compared to Lyra, how did you feel after receiving Lemy"

"Better. Glad to be with him so early. And with you as well!"

"Well, Lemy was older by three weeks compared to Lyra."

"I mean, so early after finding them! Oh...I need to tell Sam and the rest of the band." Luna then started calling them.

Not everyone very happy. Lana expressed her disappointment: "I really wanted a kid as well."

Lola was also a bit disappointed: "I didn't win my bet."

"So, you want a child with me now?"

"I mean...you are a good father. I'd like to."

"Imagine if you had said that twelve years ago!"

"Kids say the darnest things."

* * *

Some minutes passed and Lisa's face didn't look happy either. She decided to tell what she found.

"Attention, family unit. I have some negative news."

Everyone else's happiness also disappeared. Lincoln and especially Luna started to feel concerned.

Lisa announced: "Aside from increased resistance to physical damage, the newest offspring unit's gene tinkering is very uninspired and boring and limited to only disease immunities and potential genetic disease removals."

As quickly as the general mood fell, it went back up again.

"Don't scare us, Lisa! Also, not everyone wants to have a mutant child."

Meanwhile, Rita was quiet and sketching something on a piece of paper. Some family members discussed what other kind of functions should be added to Vanzilla. Lana said that within a few months, wheels will be modified so that each one of the wheels would be able to turn independently.

* * *

In the wake of the evening, Vanzilla finally reached its destination at home. Seems everything turned much better than expected. After detaching the main Vanzilla from its modules, they found that only four tires were punctured which Lana repaired with some duct tape.

Before dinner, Rita told everyone to gather in their living room.

"Now that we have twenty people in our house, we have some good news."

"That's right!" continued Lynn Senior as he showed the family house schematics that Rita sketched in the van. New floor plans of the first and second floor were drawn there. "We're going to expand the house again!"

Loud cheers were heard.

"Wait...but is this what I already do?" asked Lana.

"We're going above the basement this time!"

The family started looking schematics more closely.

"So, you're literally going to expand the living room at the expense of your own room and make a new room for yourself?"

"Well, that means we can go from second floor and basement from both the living room and the kitchen! A"

"And all else you did was add a bedroom next to kitchen and two bedrooms for the second floor, replacing Lily's room? Come on!"

"We don't have that big of a budget at the moment."

Luna had an idea. "Do you know what I can give to this project? Money! Dam taada dam! Tam tam tam tam!"

"Count me in as well! I can totes support you!", said Leni.

Eventually, six oldest siblings decided to contribute and the project. When they went back to modifying the house plan again, the project started getting bigger. First, they decided that it might be actually better to expand both the kitchen and the living room and make a fully-functional third floor with five bedrooms, a bathroom and a small storage room.

Liby and Lyra were a bit upset. "But I still want attic."

"Me too." agreed Lucy.

Lisa started calculating the volume of items they had stored in the attic.

Through compromise, family finally decided to leave about a third of the old attic intact. Then Lisa revealed that according to her calculations, a third of their current attic might still be too small to store items. Then Lynn had an idea.

"Let's build the fourth floor and make it an attic as well?"

Floor plan schematics were modified further to add the fourth floor.

Loan had an idea. "Umm...can we put all the trophies in this room to the fourth floor? I don't want to look at my section."

Lily wasn't that pleased. "But I want to see all my school diplomas and accolades. I don't want to see them lying around somewhere on the floor!"

Lincoln came to Loan's defense. "Have you noticed Loan? She's shivering every time she takes a glance towards the trophy case."

Through another compromise, they sketched a separate room to the fourth floor where they planned to proudly display trophies.

"So, with no trophy case inside a living room, do we have anything to fill an empty wall with?"

After some arguing, Leni said she had an idea. She went to her parents' room back and got back with a two printed articles. "Serial breeder strikes Loud family for the second time.". "Luna Loud: mother on tour, her child at home."

"Let's put these on display!"

Lynn Junior got also inspired "Let's find everything said about our family."

They started looking through their personal collections for article cut-outs, and the Internet for more articles. They came back with quite a bit of material. From a small article describing Loud Family anonymously with Lincoln being the youngest father to an article on an automobile magazine that described their pimped-up niche-use modular van. A lot had happened to the family and they expected that trend to continue.

Lola had an idea: "Let's draw a family tree! This would look rather grand! Like a true house of Louds."

"Have fun drawing it, miss!"

Lola tried to draw it.

"My parents: These are easy." She drew two boxes. "Then me, my brother and sisters…" She drew eleven boxes below them, then drew series of lines that connected them to the two boxes above. Then she sighed. "Now comes the hard part." She drew seven boxes below the eleven and things started to look confusing. She tried connecting those boxes with lines but it ended up to be a confusing mess.

Liby asked: "Why are you drawing Loan's hair?"

Lynn senior, Rita and Lori tried to help Lola. After ten attempts, they finally managed to get a chart that was more decipherable than the house schematics that Lynn Senior ended up with after Liena saw the light of day.

"Lola, can you leave some room in case we receive more children"

"In case? More like "when"!"

* * *

After the schematics were finished and family had dinner, Luna and Lyra decided to perform a small concert in a living room to celebrate Lemy's arrival. Lyra played classical music while Luna shredded her guitar and synths with some other family members playing simple parts of music like drums. Lemy was given a crowd surfing treatment and everyone made sure not to drop him.

When night came, Lyra, Luna and Lincoln decided to spend night in a living room with Lemy. Lyra and Lemy got the couch while Lincoln and Luna slept on the floor with sleeping bags.

Lyra asked: "Do you find it sad?"

Luna asked: "What's so sad, my star?"

"You have me and Lemy but you don't love each other. You can't even marry each other if you want to."

Luna indeed felt a bit sorrowful. "It kind of is."

"If you weren't brother and sister and had us, would you have been married?"

"We would." answered Lincoln. "But what about Lori, Leni, Luan, Lynn and Lucy?"

Lyra thought for a second. "Oh. So everyone else would have been sad. I remember when you and Lucy danced after Lupa fell from the heavens. You looked so perfect for each other. So sad you two are siblings as well."

Lincoln blushed a bit. Luna opened her mouth.

"Maybe my bro would have been a true lady's man. But, you know, me, him, my sisters, and Westermarck...they make a weird combo."

"Who's Westermarck."

Lincoln explained Westermarck effect to Lyra.

"Oh...that explains it. Also, are you angry at serial breeders?"

"We used to, but aside from Lori, we're not anymore."

"If I and Lemy weren't made, would you all still together?"

"Nah. Most of the family would have gone away. Perhaps now only Lola, Lana, Lisa and Lily would have remained with your grandma and grandpa by now. You, Lemy and my other kids are the people that binds this house together."

"So, do you plan to stay together for a long time?"

"For our children's sake, yes."

Lyra smiled. "Thanks, mom and dad!" she hugged Lemy. "And you too, Lemy."

They all drifted to sleep. New day waited them ahead, and soon, a bigger house as well.

* * *

 **Not proud of this chapter and I had quite a bit of trouble writing it.**


	9. Abandoned House

Chapter 9: Abandoned house

* * *

Construction started two weeks after the family returned from their trip with Lemy.

This time they were smart enough to supervise the construction. The result was new rooms being built as big as they asked for and in the right places as well. Parents' bedroom was added first, then kitchen and dining room expansion followed, then old parents' bedroom walls were removed to make the living room bigger.

Then came time to expand and renovate the second floor. Lincoln and Lily looked at their previous tiny room being destroyed to make way to the hallway expansion and more rooms.

"This brings back memories of being the only one in the family with own room. But that room sure was cramped," said Lincoln.

"But we don't need that room anymore! Even I finally get a bigger room now! After fifteen or sixteen years."

"I kind of feel for you."

Once the walls of the second floor were in place, the third and fourth floors were added. Leni and Lori then had an uncomfortable time as the roof over their head was removed in the meantime. At least they knew they would move away after that soon. To new rooms. The family did feel kind of dumb when they realized that they forgot to add stairs leading to the third and fourth floors but through improvisation, two sets of winder staircases were added.

Lacy and Lana hanged out in a junkyard and found perfectly fine bathroom tiles just laying there. After informing Lynn senior about this, they hauled the amount they needed to decorate the third-floor corridor. Kind of unusual decoration for a non-bathroom, they thought. But the tiles were free so they went with it.

The family found out that they had extra money so they decided to add a porch in front of a previous porch. Then they had an idea to add a roof terrace on top of it as well with direct entrances to two front side bedrooms on the second floor.

Then it was time to paint the outer walls. The Loud siblings decided to paint the second floor and up while kids painted the first floor. Siblings managed to divide their sectors neatly. While Lori and Lisa stuck to a brown color as originally planned, everybody else used their own favorite color to paint their designated sectors. For Lincoln's kids, things were even more chaotic. They just painted whatever part they wanted at the time with their favorite color. An exception was Liby who only painted window framed but even she seemed to make sure that every set of window frame had a different color. The end result was...interesting to say the least with the first floor bringing back memories of from the time the house was repainted during one of the Rita's and Lynn Senior's wedding anniversaries.

Lynn Senior looked at the whole house and sighed.

"You know what? So be it! Lola, I think you can keep your 100$."

When the rooms were ready, the great migration began. It was rather chaotic. The result was that Lily, Luan, Lola, Leni, and Lisa moved to the third floor, the Second floor was went to Lynn Junior, Liena, Liby, Lori, Luna and Lyra. Lacy, Lemy and their grandparents got the first floor and remaining people: Lincoln, Lana, Lupa, Loan, and Lucy got in the basement. Basement's temporary bedrooms were made into a pantry and washing room. Finally, the extra bedroom was left empty and to the mercy of Lisa's experiments.

* * *

And so years started passing again. Lola and Lana made another bet as they both lost previous one. They decided that the one who becomes a mother first gives 300$ to the other.

Lana started doing lots of part-time jobs everywhere: as a zookeeper, as a plumber, as a cleaner, as a mechanic and so on. Lola became a model, often working closely with Leni who, thanks to her large closet/workshop room, would have to show up at her clothing store only half of her workdays.

Lisa managed to find a cure for smoking-related lung cancers using Lupa as her test subject.

And so, three years passed yet again. It was a weekend during the late spring. The family had woken up and was eating breakfast.

Liby asked: "Is that true that when Lola was a child, she was as spoiled as the milk she just drank?"

Lola quickly got up. "Excuse me for a minute" and disappeared into the toilet room.

"Looks like she was way more spoiled. That milk expires next Thursday."

* * *

After breakfast, Lori and Rita went to work. Loan went to downtown to a local ceramic pot-making competition as she still wanted to find something she was good at. So far, she had no luck with her section of trophy case still gathering dust. At least she didn't have to look at it ever since the trophy cases were moved to the fourth floor.

Leni started designing a wedding dress in her room. Lola was used as a model but she didn't look too happy.

"What's wrong, Lola?"

"I wish I could wear a wedding dress someday."

"But you're wearing it right now!"

"No! I mean, during a wedding."

"Oh! Don't worry! You'll get married someday!"

"You're over 30 and not married either. Why do you think I will find someone?"

Leni felt sad a well.

* * *

There was a recently abandoned house in about five minutes of walking distance from where the family lived. Lacy, Liby, and Lupa liked to go there at least once a week or once per two weeks. Usually, it was Lacy's idea as, in those days, the majority of kids preferred to spend their free time at home. This day, the trio decided to go and play inside an abandoned house again. Once they arrived in front of the house, Liby asked:

"What should we play today?"

Lupa had an idea: "Let's play cops and civilians! You're civilians and I'm the cop." She picked up a stick. "Let's pretend this is a gun!" Lupa then aimed a stick at Lacy and Liby and did "Pow pow pow pow. You're dead!"

"Not fair! Hey! Let's play a game! Who has the biggest teeth wins and wait I already won!"

Lacy had an idea as well "Let's play house!"

"We need a father. We don't have Lemy!"

"Let's play post-apocalypse house then! We're the last survivors of the family."

"Let's go climbing instead. Meet me on the second floor!"

Lacy started scaling walls.

"No way I can catch you!"

Lupa and Liby went into the house using the front door and then they went up the stairs. They reached the second-floor corridor which was a dimly lit place.

"So...what are we playing now?"

From the sounds of one of the rooms, they concluded that Lacy had entered through a window.

"I'm here!" They heard through the door. "Let's play 'Operation Sin Kid'!"

Liby and Lupa sarcastically laughed. Liby jokingly asked: "So...who will be the baby?"

One of the doors opened and Lacy's head popped out. "Those two I found here."

"Don't you call me a baby!"

"No! Those in this room I'm in!"

"What?"

"Come here! You won't believe it!"

Liby and Lupa entered the abandoned bedroom. Lacy was right. Someone had placed two sleeping babies wrapped in blankets on the bedroom floor. One of them seemed normal, the other had pale skin.

"Amazing!" said Liby.

Lacy was happy as well. "And we discovered it!"

"Leave them here."

"No, Lupa! These are for Lana and Lola, I bet!" said Liby.

"So are these Lizy and Leia or whatever Lana and Lola told us?"

"Our newest sisters? Or cousins? Or both? Oh, I remember! They're our sister-cousins. Lana is going to be sooo happy!"

"But which one is which?" asked Lacy.

They looked at notes attached to blanket. They looked at pale one's first.

Lupa started to read. "Sex: F. Mother: Lola Loud. Father: Lincoln Loud. Yup! That's Leia for you!"

They looked at the next infant.

"So that means that this is for Lana and Lincoln?"

Liby started to read.

"Sex: M. Mother: Jessica Woodsmith. Father: George Spruce"

Liby, Lacy and Lupa were confused.

Lupa opened her mouth first. "We leave this one behind?"

"Take them both. I'll take Leia," said Liby.

"I'll take Leia!" proposed Lacy.

"Ok. Less carrying for me."

Lupa had plans of her own. "Can I take the other one? I wanna see Lana's face!"

After a short discussion, they decided to show Leia first to the family. They started running back home. It was difficult to carry babies as they were still young kids.

* * *

Only Lincoln, Lana, and Lemy were outside in the front yard with Lincoln and Lana taking turns helping Lemy on a swing to reach greater heights. Lemy went "Yeeeah!" every time he reached the peak of the swing. After Lemy fell off the third time, Lincoln said it was his turn now and started swinging Lemy. Suddenly, Lincoln, Lana, and Lemy heard Lacy.

"Dad! Dad! Guess what we found?". She ran towards Lincoln carrying Leia.

Liby was also with Lacy. "Tadaa! Dad Lincoln Loud, you got a daughter with Lola!". Liby took a note out of her pocket. "See?"

They looked at pre-emptively named Leia and the note. They also found out that Leia was ten days old.

There was a bit of disappointment in Lana's face. "So, not me this time?". Lemy had gotten off the swing at that point as well to look at the new family member.

Lincoln was happy. He picked up her new daughter. Then Lincoln noticed Leia's face. "Wait...she's pale!"

Lincoln quickly checked Leia's pulse and breathing. The kids and Lana were nervous. Lincoln quickly realized that the newcomer was breathing normally just like Lupa did was when she arrived.

"She seems normal." Then he yelled towards the upper floors. "Lola! Our daughter arrived!"

Lola just happened to be by the window.

"Wait? Are you joking?" She saw the new baby. "No? She's for real?"

Lola gathered herself, took a deep breath and shouted: "I'm coming!"

Lola started running downstairs. When she arrived at the porch, she majestically started walking towards Lincoln.

"Hand me my heir!"

Lincoln handed Leia to her.

"My angel, I make sure I'll take good care of you! So long I have waited for you."

Lana was a bit surprised. "Wow! You sure have prepared for this occasion!"

Lincoln smiled as he looked at the still sleeping infant: "Welcome to our weird family, Leia!"

He then shook Lola's hand. "Congratulations for your motherhood!"

Liby continued. "But wait: There's more! We found another baby!"

"You mean, we both get to have a daughter?"

"Just you wait! Lupa, you can come out now!"

"Finally!" Lupa emerged with a normally colored baby. Lana's heart was pounding when she saw him.

"You mean, is this finally Lizy? Me and Lola! Both proud parents with Linc at the same time!" Tears of joy started filling Lana's eyes.

"Well…sorry but..." Liby took out the second note from her pocket. Lana looked at the names and her smile disappeared.

"OH COME ON!"

"Why do you yell?" asked Lemy.

"Do serial breeders really like to make fun of me?"

Lupa was enjoying the scene.

Lincoln tried to comfort Lana. "Maybe next time? These children take years to arrive."

"That's the point. And I bet it's going to be someone like Lori or Leni getting a second child again to make even more more fun of me."

Lola also tried to calm Lana down.

"But you'll get my three hundred dollars."

"I don't care! That was horrible prank they did!"

"Lacy, Liby, Lupa! Call everyone else inside the house! Also, can anyone find out who Jessica Woodsmith and George Spruce are?"

* * *

Everyone went inside while the trio started going from room to room, informing the remaining people inside about the situation. Soon the crowd gathered. The usual health checks, taking pictures, calling authorities and registering birth, supply box opening and DNA sample collecting ritual followed. In the photos taken, Lola was quite proud. Seems she tried to make sure she looked like an upper-class woman with a highly-anticipated royal heir. It wasn't that far of a stretch as the Loud family was kind of upper-class by this point.

Lynn Senior was trying to find more information about the parents of the second baby. Fortunately, he did find contact information online. He then took out his phone his phone and started calling. He heard a woman's voice.

"Hello?"

"Hello, is this Ms. Jessica Woodsmith?"

"Yes. Who's speaking?"

"Lynn Loud senior speaking. I regret to inform you that our family found so-called 'doorstep baby' that's got your name on it."

A short pause, Jessica said: "Are you THOSE Louds?"

"Yup. The ones with lots of kids with...questionable origins."

"You said...I got blessed by being a mother now?" The voice was clearly happy.

"Yes. With someone called George Spruce."

"AMAZING! Hold on a minute!" Lynn senior heard footsteps running. "Honey! We're parents now! Serial breeder happened!"

Lynn Senior waited for a minute as he heard woman's happy voice and then man's voice being first confused and then very happy as well. Jessica picked up a phone again.

"Sorry about that! Where can I pick him/her up?"

"Address? Royal Woods, 1216 Franklin Avenue."

"Wait. Can you send me a message with that address?"

"Alright. By the way, it's a boy."

"Really? That's great as well!"

They chatted a minute or two about the further contact details.

"We'll be there in an hour. See you soon! Bye!"

Lynn Senior said goodbye to them as well before putting his phone away. Meanwhile, Lacy, Liby, and Lupa told them how and where they discovered those babies.

"Abandoned house? Is that the way to treat my daughter?"

"I was put inside a box.", said Liena in her monotone voice. Her voice wasn't slurred anymore. Meanwhile, she did a Morse code behind her back with her hands, saying "Spoiled brat."

Lisa, who was finished analyzing DNA was a bit frustrated as well.

"Aside from the unusually light pigmentation of offspring of Lincoln Loud and Lola Loud, there is nothing worthy of note on her and her gene modifications."

"There is a lot worthy of note on her," disagreed Lola. "I'll make sure my daughter is going to be the best."

"As for the other infant, his DNA indeed does not match any of my collected samples. His DNA is more worthy of note. Color-changing follicles and slightly adhesive limbs being some of the gene modification results. Unfortunately, due to this belonging to our family unit, I cannot perform further research on observing his mutations directly without the consent of his parental unit."

"You better not!"

* * *

Eventually, a car stopped in front of a house. A man and a woman in their late 40s came out. Lynn Senior was there to greet them.

"Hello!"

Jessica and George looked at the house in awe.

"This house sure is something."

"Yes. That's where our family lives. Well, our family is a bit...eccentric. Anyway, shall you come in?"

Lynn Senior lead the visitors to the house. The family said hi to them.

"Here he is!"

Lana handed him the baby. Jessica and George were the happiest people the family had seen this week. They were even happier than Lola.

"So...after all these years! Finally!"

"Our first child!"

"So you don't mind being the victim of the serial breeder?" asked Liena.

"Of course we don't! I and my wife were unable to get a child of our own."

"We turned out to be...infertile. Anyway, how did you find our child?"

Liby told the visitors what happened, how Lacy discovered infants inside an abandoned house and how they got home.

"Oh! Where was the house?"

Liby told them the address. Jessica was surprised.

"That's the place we planned to visit tomorrow! We plan to move soon and that house was on the list of candidates to move in."

"So, if your children hadn't found the children, we would have," said George.

They chatted for about ten minutes, with main conversation pieces being the "Operation Sin Kid" poster.

A door to the entrance room opened with Loan running in, in tears and clearly shaking.

"Secont to last place! I'm a failure! I'm a failure!" She noticed the crowd "Who are you? Who are these new kids?"

"Sorry about that." Said Lincoln to the guests. He quickly handed her Lemy. "She wants to find out something she's good at." Loan started hugging Lemy tightly almost to the point where Lemy wanted her to let go of her. Lincoln gave Loan a quick summary of what happened.

The family continued to chat with George and Jessica for another ten minutes, this time the conversation piece being the display case with news articles and family tree schematics.

Soon, George then said to the family: "We have to go now. Once again, thank you for rescuing our child! Have a great day! But first...".

Then, without warning, Mr. Spruce placed his child on a couch, kneeled down in front of Ms. Woodsmith, took out a small box, opened it and asked:

"Jessica, will you marry me?"

Jessica seemed to be ready for it. "I...I do!", she replied. George then put the engagement ring around Jessica's ring finger.

Many of them watched in amazement. Some even said "aww."

"Anyway, thank you again. Goodbye!". George took his son and left with his wife. Family waved goodbye as the couple got back into their car with their son and disappeared from view.

"How many times he thanked us?"

* * *

The visit from Spruce and Woodsmith and especially the marriage proposal gave Lily an idea. A few hours later, she knocked at Lola's room door.

Lola quickly hid her Fluffypuff plushies, unlocked the door, sat one a throne with Leia in her arms.

"Wipe your feet and come in."

Lily entered Lola's excessively pink room.

"Pst, Lola!"

"What is it?"

"Well...you know. You and Lincoln are now parents. But it's embarrassing that you haven't...ummm...dated yet. What about you and Lincoln going on a date tomorrow? To...celebrate your...co-parentage."

"But that's…"

"As a brother and sister. With different dating rules. I remember you told me stories how the family supported each other on dates when you were kids."

"We didn't date Lincoln! Not even any mock dates!" Lola remembered something. "Hey, I still remember Lincoln's eighteenth birthday and what kind of pictures you gave her but come on now! I'm not like that!"

"But what if Lincoln gives you a beautiful ring and takes you to a fancy restaurant?"

Lola remembered a ring she wanted to buy from a jewelry store. Perhaps getting a daughter is something to celebrate for after all. After thinking about it for a few moments, Lola replied:

"Alright, let us get this over with!"

"Great!"

"But I need to find something fancy to put on then."

"You already wear fancy stuff! I'll get Leni if you need something even fancier." Lily started to leave.

"Wait!"

Lily took Lola's hand and dragged her in front of Leni's door. Lily then knocked on the door.

"Come inside!". The door opened with Lily and Lola entering the room.

"Leni, I got a great idea! We're going to prepare Lola on a date with Lincoln!"

"What date? Tomorrow?"

"No. I mean like Lincoln and Lola going on a date."

"Oh! But...but they are brother and sister!"

Lily explained what she meant. Leni's rather empty head started processing information. When she was done, she replied: "But that's actually, like, a very sweet idea!"

Lola interrupted. "Basically, I need you to make a new dress for me."

Lily had an idea. "Or you can just take one of Lola's gowns and just make it more...queenly."

Leni agreed. "That's a clever idea! I'm so gonna make sure you have an amazing day!"

Leni took out her measuring tape and started to measure Lola. After that, the three women started running back and forth between Lola's and Leni's room. After they found an appropriate gown to upgrade, Leni got to work. Finally, all three were pleased on how Lola looked in her new gown.

Lola asked: "What does Lincoln think of that?"

Lily felt kind of dumb.

"I haven't asked him yet."

"I'll ask Linky!"

* * *

Lola felt kind of dumb as well. Leni started to run out of her room, only to find out that the door was closed. After correcting herself and opening the door, Leni ran down three staircases. Lola and Lily followed her after telling Luan to watch over Leia in the meantime.

Lincoln heard a knock on his door.

"Come in!"

Leni opened the door. Then she tried to open the door again, only to remember it was already open. She closed an imaginary door and entered the room.

"You, like, have no idea what's going to happen tomorrow!"

"Why are you so happy all of a sudden?"

"You and Lola are going out and have a great time."

"Excuse me?"

Lola and Lily arrived.

"I decided to celebrate becoming a parent with you!", said Lola.

Lily explained: "It was my idea but she liked it."

"You and I are going to the restaurant and jewelry store!" continued Lola.

Then Lily had another idea:

"Hey. Why not go for a full ceremony? Let's buy an even fancier ring! Well, two rings. First would be an equivalent to an engagement ring. The second would be an equivalent to a wedding ring."

Lincoln was confused. "Ok, what's happening? Me? Married? Wedding? What?"

Lily started to explain: "You see. It is kind of sad that while you'll get more and more children with your sisters, you've become committed to your family and you cannot marry someone without leaving your family behind."

Lincoln was dumbfounded by all that infodump. "O...kay?"

"So I had an idea: As siblings cannot marry, why not make something that's similar to the wedding ceremony to make up for it?"

Leni then turned to Lola: "And, like, you get to wear the best wedding dress I can make!"

"It's going to be a fun day! I'll call the others and we'll be preparing for a party tomorrow!"

"All that tomorrow?"

"Yes! We can prepare in time if we start today!"

Lola looked at the floor, shaking her head. "Oh dear, what have gotten myself into."

* * *

They started calling the others, talking about this absurd idea. Some were dumbfounded, some were excited, some were a bit against it. Ultimately, the family just went along with it and the preparations started to escalate. Liena and Lynn Senior agreed to take care of food situation. Lyra, Luna and Lucy agreed to be musicians. Lana, who had now calmed down from disappointment earlier that day, agreed to be Lola's right-hand girl. Lincoln also called Clyde to attend the ceremony to be an equivalent to his best man. He agreed. All Lola could do was watch as the things escalated.

In the evening, Lola was in Leni's closet/workshop room as Leni started making her a wedding dress fit for the queen. Lincoln was in Lori's room asking for girl advice. More specifically, economical side of girl advice. Meanwhile, Lincoln's children had a chance to try taking care of Leia.

"Good to have a family to take some of the pressure off of you.", commented Lola.

The kids compared Leia's and Lupa's skin color and couldn't decide whose skin was paler.

"Leia is paler."

"No, Lupa is."

Liby asked: "Aunt Lisa, who is paler?"

"Such question is not subjective and can be found out. Returning in a minute."

Lisa came back with a photometer. After analyzing the spectrum of the skin for both Leia and Lupa, she answered.

"They both reflect the same amount of overall light. In the case of Lupa, she reflects a visible part of the light spectrum more evenly than Leia, meaning that Lupa's skin is grayer."

Before the night, Lola showed up in a living room briefly to wish Lincoln good luck for next day.

"Thanks, sis. You'll need it."

Majority of the family went to sleep to prepare for the following day. Leia was taken under her aunt Luan's care who had fun doing the milk bottle switching prank on her.

* * *

The next day, Lincoln and Lola started getting ready. Lola spent the entire morning doing make-up and making sure that her necklace, gloves, sash, tiara, earrings and high heels matched perfectly with her gown. She didn't care that her gown hid her high heels completely. Meanwhile, Lincoln simply got his suit from Leni and left and spent the rest of the morning with the family and drawing comics.

Finally, after Lola got ready, she tumbled from upstairs after finding stairs to be a too challenging obstacle with her new outfit. Lincoln caught her before her face hit the floor.

"Like Lynn would say: Staiii-rRIKE!", commented Luan.

Liby sighed.

"Mom, your puns are as forced as Lori's smile in that picture with baby Loan."

"Hey, cut it, Liby! We were literally young and unprepared!"

After Lincoln got the excess glitter off of his suit and reapplied it on Lola, he asked:

"You ok, Lola?"

"Could be better."

"Shall we get going?"

Lincoln led Lola outside.

"We'll be preparing for the ceremony! Have a fun day!", said Rita.

Vanzilla modifications made the family realize that it's probably better to have two driver modules so they could have two vans driving separately. Or if they wanted to have a van that they wouldn't have to turn around if you wanted to get back. As Lincoln and Lola went to town alone, they just used one driver module and nothing else.

"You know, Linky. Maybe we should have used all the modules. To make Vanzilla look more like a limousine."

"Remember when we used to hide in Vanzilla with other sisters when Lori went on a date with Bobby?"

"You have a point."

They checked the backseats to find nothing there. Lincoln started the car and Vanzilla drove off. Lincoln and Lola started to chat about being parents, about plans for Leia and so on. Soon they arrived in front of a jewelry store. Lola decided to wait in a van until Lincoln was done shopping.

"Make sure you bring me the fanciest rings you find or else!"

"Sure thing, sis!"

Lincoln went inside and started browsing, taking Lori's advice in mind. Ten minutes later, he got out.

"So, how well it went?"

"Very well! Don't worry!"

* * *

Their next stop was a Monacan/Indonesian fusion restaurant Monte Sinabung, currently the most luxurious restaurant in town.

They started browsing through the menu that was handed to them. Lola told Lincoln to order for her. When they were ready to order, Lincoln called the waitress.

"Let's see…Kentang Frites and Roti Berlapis au Fromage for two, whatever that means. For the main course, one Satebleu. Actually, two of them as well. And a bottle of...Getah De Prune. Hope I pronounced it right."

Lola was pleased about the order. "This sounds so fancy. You definitely know how to treat a lady!"

"Alright. That's all?" asked the waitress.

"Yes." Lincoln took out his card from pockets.

"Oh, so you're the one who likes to pay beforehand."

After Lincoln paid the price, which was slightly lower than he thought, they started to wait. A bottle of maroon drink was delivered to them. They both took a sip.

"Tastes like plum. But it's a good plum."

They started to chat. Lola started running her mouth about what she thinks of her sisters, double nieces, and Lemy.

"So, what do you think about Lola? Does she have any secrets I would find amusing?"

"Oh...her? Did you know that while she hates Princess Pony, claiming it too diabetes-inducing, a few years ago she secretly started liking Fluffypuff the Cloud? What a hypoc…"

Lola realized her mistake and blushed. Lincoln laughed.

"Seems even the best of us sometimes go full Leni."

Soon, two roulette-themed plates with some of the most decorated fried potatoes and two very large cheese sandwiches arrived. Cheese sandwiches also had lots of other things on them.

"Well, at least these are the fanciest fried potatoes and cheese sandwiches I've seen."

After taking a bite, they agreed that this was the tastiest thing they had in that week. After they finished the meal, two dishes of satay arrived except each piece of meat on a stick was inside a small baguette. It was as tasty as the previous dishes.

"Alright, I'm full."

"Me too."

After gulping down the remainder of plum juice, Lola decided this was the right moment.

"Ok, Linky, it's ring time!"

"Sure thing!"

Lola stood up. Lincoln went down to one of his knees and reached out a small box from his pocket.

"Lola, will you...umm...be a good Leia's parent with me?"

"I do! I mean...I will!"

"Oh...the box!" Lincoln opened it to reveal a ring with an oversized rose quartz.

Lola looked in amazement. "Wow! How much did it cost? I mean...this is beautiful! I mean it!"

"Oh...it's nothing...I mean it was a bit pricey. Anyway…" Lincoln took out a ring from the box and put it around Lola's ring finger and then stood up. Lola hugged Lincoln.

"Oh...now the restaurant bill."

"You already paid for it."

"Forgot. Silly me."

They went back outside where Vanzilla driver module 2 waited for them.

"After you."

Lola went into the van with Lincoln following her.

"How did you enjoy your day?"

"It was the best day I've had in a while. Just don't mention me liking Fluffypuff the Cloud."

Suddenly, she heard Lacy's and Lana's laugh from the radio. Lola looked at the Vanzilla's complicated control panel and realized that when she got into the car, she accidentally had flipped a few switches. This included turning "Home radio." switch to "On."

"Oh no." Lola's face became red again. She quickly flipped the undesired switches to off. And so, Vanzilla driver module 2 started heading towards home.

* * *

When they arrived home, preparations were already underway.

Liby hummed the theme of Fluffypuff the Cloud while Lucy was practicing portable organ, playing Fluffypuff's theme on a minor scale.

"Stop it!"

"Ok, princess!"

Lynn Senior and Liena were busy cooking. Loan was also here to help them.

Lynn Senior tried to give Loan advice. "No, Loan. You need to stir the eggs more vigorously."

"I tried as hard as I can."

Lynn Junior had an idea. "Here's a tip. Think of your section of a trophy case and how it looks compared to others."

Loan's hands started shaking and eggs got stirred in no time. Liena thanked her and tried to calm her down while Lana was cleaning up the portion of the stirred eggs that ended up on the floor.

* * *

Evening came and everyone got themselves ready.

Lincoln was waiting for Lola on the second-floor hallway. He heard footsteps from as Lola walked downstairs and Leni supported her so she wouldn't fall. When he saw Lola, he double-checked to see if he hadn't gone blind. Lola was wearing a very ornate pink wedding dress with so much glitter that putting that dress on Lana would have surely traumatized her for life, if not outright killed her.

"Good luck!", said Leni as she went ahead of them to the living room.

Lincoln looked at Lola. "Wow! You really went overboard with glitter! I mean, you're probably going to win beauty pageant by a mile. I mean, you're beautiful!"

"Thank you! Let's get this ceremony over with so I can get my ri...I mean...so we become proud parents of Leia."

Lyra and Lucy started playing music. Lola and Lincoln appeared at the top of the stairs. Lacy acted like as an equivalent of flower girl. Lincoln and Lola started to slowly walk down the stairs, holding hands. Lacy, who had picked a lot of dandelions from the backyard, started dropping them in front of Lincoln and Lola. Lori, Leni, and Liena were ready to catch all three in case they fell. Somehow, they all miraculously made it down unscathed.

"I would have dropped the spikiest wild roses," whispered Lupa to Liby.

Lincoln and Lola then went to the middle of the living room. Lily stood behind a table that had a drawing with family tree schematics on it.

She started to speak. "We are here to celebrate Lincoln and Lola Loud…becoming proud parents of their newly...found daughter, Leia Loud."

Some of the family cringed, others smiled.

"Some couples know that they have to become parents from the moment they first lay their eyes on each other. Some find each other ready to take this responsibility after a long courtship. These two people in front of me, however, have known each other ever since birth. They have had lots of differences, they have argued a lot. They may have been selfish, one of them might even act like a spoiled brat…"

"Hey!"

"However, they managed to tolerate each other's company. It was only after they were gifted with a daughter when they recently realized that the person they wanted to become a co-parent with was living with them all along."

"But what about the others?" whispered Lyra to Lori.

"Pst. They're currently not important."

Lily then addressed Lola. "Now comes the important part. Will you, Lola Loud, take the responsibility to raise your daughter with Lincoln Loud?"

"Of course I do!"

"Will you, Lincoln Loud, take the responsibility to raise your daughter with Lola Loud?"

"Yup. I mean...I do."

"Then I shall pronounce you...well...proud parents of Leia Loud!".

"Now comes the good part.", whispered Loan to Liena.

"You may now kiss your co-parent...on the cheeks."

Lincoln closed his eyes as Lola gave him a peck on the cheek. It wasn't as bad as both of them thought. Lincoln did the same to Lola.

"Oh...the rings."

Clyde handed them both boxes. Lincoln quickly peeked inside the one he got.

"Oops!" said Clyde.

Lincoln and Lola switched boxes and then opened them.

"It's…beautiful!" Lola stared at a moissanite ring that Lincoln presented to her. Lincoln then put the ring around Lola's ring finger.

Lola proceeded to place a plain orange ring around Lincoln's finger. Audience clapped. Lacy quickly ran upstairs, came back with a few flowers and handed them to Lola.

"Banquet? I Forgot about that. Ok, everyone! On the count of three. One, two…three!"

Lola threw the flowers behind her back. Lynn junior caught most of them but Lana, Lori, Leni, and Liena also got one flower each.

Lacy whispered to Lyra: "These were from the vase upstairs."

Ceremony proceeded. Lola sat on a throne that others managed to drag down from Lola's room while the new pair was eating in a restaurant. Then Lincoln sat on a comfy armchair next to Lola. Lana arrived with a crown. She removed Lola's tiara and replaced it with the crown. Clyde then placed another crown on Lincoln's head. Lana proceeded to hand Leia to Lola. After that, Clyde handed Leia to Lincoln. Both parents stood up and held Leia together.

"And now, as it is...umm...tradition, I will decide whose mother and whose father will bear the burden of taking care of the daughter of newly-minted proud parents during the first night. I shall flip a coin. If it lands on heads, then the father of Lincoln Loud and mother of Lola Loud will take the burden by taking care of her. If it lands on tails, then the mother of Lincoln Loud and the father of Lola Loud will be taking care of her instead."

"But aren't they the same?", asked Liby?

"This time, yes."

Lily flipped a coin. It landed on tails.

"Guess we're not lucky.", said Lynn senior regretfully.

* * *

As the 'official' ceremony ended, the party started picking up the pace with Lucy giving the organ to Luna. Sometimes, Lyra played her violin, sometimes Luna played the organ. Them trying to play together sometimes resulted in a mess, sometimes not. Lola started performing her ribbon dances, some alone, some with Leia in hand, some while swirling around Lincoln.

In the evening, Lana attached all the modules to Vanzilla that would fit: A driver module on each end, six passenger modules, an articulated bellow module, and three luggage modules. Lana acted as main chauffeuse while Clyde drove the other end if necessary. Lincoln led Lola and Leia to the van. When 26-wheeled started rolling with "Just became co-parents" sign on both ends, it definitely caught the attention to everyone who saw the sight. After they made their three honor laps around three blocks, they stopped in front of the house again. Then most of the family jumped in and the van went for another ride. Surprisingly, only one lamppost was knocked down which Lana quickly fixed before anyone realized with others helping to lift the post back up.

After Vanzilla completed another three laps and returned to 1216 Franklin Avenue, everyone got out and Vanzilla's modules were detached again. The party continued inside with the family eating a large cake. During the party, Leni asked:

"Um...it's kinda sad. Now that Lincoln and Lola are...you know...married, I can't marry Lincoln...wait? Was this illegal to marry a brother or sister?"

Luna replied: "Leni, this is not a true marriage! Nothing prevents you from doing the same with Lincoln as well and throwing a party!"

"But that's...totes nice! I'm so gonna do the same this summer! You know, the day when I got my precious baby!"

"I would also like to participate in this unholy union." After everyone except Lincoln jumped due to Lucy joining the conversation, she continued. "But not during the date on Lupa's arrival. I'd prefer to celebrate it during the dark night of Halloween. Or the date during cold winter when Lupa as taken out of her confines of the vessel, away from her parents."

"What about you, Lana?"

Lana was sad.

"If I'd ever become a co-parent with Lincoln, I'd be so happy I would gladly wear a wedding dress."

"You? Wedding dress? Haha!"

"Wanna bet?"

"A dress like Lola has?"

"Ok I'm not that eagerly awaiting a child. Something...simpler."

Lincoln said: "It's going to be a long year. Anyone else wants to do a ceremony?"

Nobody else wanted at that moment although Luna said she would consider it. They started discussing how they should alter the ceremony to take Lupa's, Liena's and Lyra's age into account.

Lola asked: "What's this ceremony's equivalent of honeymoon?"

"Umm...Parental leave?"

"That might be it!".

The party continued. Liby said to Rita:

"Congratulations for your son's...wedding-equivalent-ceremony. Do you know that your husband is cheating with your son's co-parent's mother?"

Rita went angry for a moment. "That...cheating...I...Oh, I get it! You almost had me there."

Meanwhile, Lupa asked Lucy: "Lucy, do you know where the cigarettes are?"

"Lupa, no smoking on the first, second and third floor unless you want to fill the party attendants with misery."

"No. I meant I lost my coal box and now I have to use those cheap cigarettes."

"Sigh. My apologies. I think you left it in an extra bedroom after Lisa did some research on you."

"Thanks, mother Lucy!"

* * *

Before the party ended, Loan had a thought.

"Imagine if serial breeder targets Lisa and Lincoln instead and makes the most normal and average baby there is?"

Lisa's felt disgusted.

"This would be unacceptable." She paused for a second. "It is likely that I'll go on a reconnaissance shortly using my personal inventions. Normally I would absolutely refrain from bringing my prototype inventions outside the Loud family unit residence. However, having an unmodified or plain offspring is utterly disrespectful to a scientist like me."

"You mean, you literally could have caught the breeders all this time?"

"That might be correct. Success chance of detecting would have been reasonable after my age reached nine. However, this operation would have been caused side effects like spacetime warp, explosions occurring et cetera as my personal inventions were not reliable enough. Currently, such occurrences, I estimate, would be only twenty percent."

"No thanks."

Lisa sighed. Perhaps it was time to put all her research into catching the breeders after all or she'd regret it afterwards.

* * *

At the end of the party, the family wanted to know if Lincoln was strong enough to carry Lola to her room. Lincoln lifted Lola up with greater ease than he thought.

"Whoa! You are very light." Lincoln then realized he made an unintended compliment.

"Well, thank you, Linky!"

"Ok. Here goes. Wish me luck!"

"Do you know who else is light? Lucy! Haha! Get it?"

"This is one of your better puns, I'll give it that. Anyway..."

Lincoln started carrying her up the stairs. Others were ready to catch them in case something went wrong. Lincoln was more careful than usual. He somehow made it upstairs and looked back only to find that everyone else had fallen back down instead except Lacy who managed to cling on handrail. Lincoln and Lola laughed. Lincoln then continued carrying Lola to the end of the hallway.

"Now comes the hard part."

He carried Lola up to the much narrower winder staircase with Lola's head scraping against the wall. They somehow made it to the third floor.

"You ok, sunshine?"

"Could be better. At least the finish line is in sight."

* * *

Lincoln carried in front of Lola's room entrance and wiped his shoes. Lana opened the door for the two, Lincoln carried Lola in and dropped her on her queen-sized bed. Applause was heard. Family and Clyde wished them goodnight and went to their own rooms with Rita and her husband taking care of Leia. Clyde, of course, went home. Lola was left in her room with Lincoln. Lincoln wiped the excess glitter off of his suit, took off his crown and asked.

"So, what do you think of today?"

"All I wanted was a ring and a trip to a restaurant and look how it turned out."

"Lola, you know how things are in this house. They tend to escalate out of control."

Both of them laughed.

"That's true. But at least I got my rings.". Lola looked at her newly-obtained jewelry.

"And a ceremony! That Lily sure is something!"

"Oh...that too. Hey, if we hadn't been relatives but we'd still had known each other since childhood, do you think we'd be together?"

"Of course not! Do you remember how much we used to argue?"

"But imagine if I had been the first sister to have a child with you."

"By the age of six? This would have been...awkward to say the least. As me getting a daughter with Lori wasn't awkward enough."

"You have a point. Anyway, at least now I think you and me will get along just fine."

"I'm not exactly a prince charming but I try my best."

"By the way, do you know that a prince can be a brother of a princess or a queen?"

"Well, our house is kind of House of Louds if you think of that. Perhaps you're going to draw a family crest one day."

"Good idea!"

They started drawing. They continued to chat about various things. About the day they had, the lookout tower the family planned to build for the children, school that Lola planned to place his daughter in and so on. Suddenly, Lola quietly said to Lincoln.

"Linky, can you open the second lowest left drawer on that cupboard?"

"Why you're all quiet all of a sudden?"

"You'll see."

Lincoln did what she requested.

"Now take the orange and pink key."

Lincoln found the key.

"Now bring out the pink box with two gems from under my bed and open up the box."

Lincoln dragged Lola's box out from the bed and opened it with a key. What he found was two cloud-shaped plushies with a smiling face. One white and the other one pink. These plushies had clearly blush marks drawn on them.

"That's...my darkest secret. I ship Fluffypuff and Glitterfluff."

Lincoln thought of laughing but held himself back.

"Can you hand them to me?"

Lincoln handed Lola those two plushies who started playing with them. Then Lincoln and Lola decided to stay in Lola's room for the night with Lola confessing that she wishes to be a good artist to draw some shipping pictures. Finally, they both fell asleep, free days ahead of them.

Lincoln was glad he had built up the immunity to all that glitter and diabetes-inducing shipping. These would have traumatized any normal man.

* * *

 **Sorry. This one took for a while and turned out to be the longest chapter.**


	10. Jar again

Chapter 10: Jar...again

* * *

When Lincoln woke up the next morning, he was a bit confused. Why was the room so pink, why was Lola there and why did it look like they had a wedding and why was Lola holding two plushies of characters from a children's show? Then he remembered. He also noticed a note on Lola's hair that said: "Liby, Lupa, and Lacy were here."

He cringed a bit, laughed by himself and left the room.

* * *

Life went on. The house expanded even more. The lookout tower that was promised to be built finally became built, making the house to be one of the most prominent landmarks in the neighborhood.

Leni and Lucy did participate in co-parent ceremony. Luna followed soon after. Adjustments were made to make those ceremonies less cringy than the one with Lola, and also to consider the age of their children.

Basement floor and the second floor was also added to the garage. The second floor of the garage was made into a greenhouse.

Albert moved in and settled inside the first floor of the garage house. Despite being in his late eighties, he was still in a good health.

Liby started wearing braces so her front teeth wouldn't grow too far apart. She also didn't like having to file her teeth from time to time to prevent them from overgrowing.

Lana helped Lisa in her sub-basement pilot program. The program consisted of digging out a tight corridor that started underneath the basement's extra bedroom and ended with a small room.

Lisa put all her efforts into researching anything that would help her to get closer to the serial breeder undetected, without causing too many explosions or spacetime anomalies. As she was not tied to any science institution, in particular, she had more liberties of what she could do. Still, most of the stuff she had invented was still proven to be too unstable. Teleporters weren't reliable enough. Wall-phase device was even more dangerous and prone to cause dimension portals. She eventually decided that primitive invisibility paint and sound dampeners had to do, as disappointingly simple as they were. Her jar-fetus-detector, while not perfect by any means, seemed sufficient enough.

* * *

About three years had passed since Leia was found from the abandoned house. It was a late autumn night. Lisa was inside Vanzilla, doing her usual survey. Readings started showing something unusual around one of the farms. She looked her jar-fetus detector and noticed eleven distinct signals. Meanwhile, her adult human detector showed no sources other than her own. Lisa decided that it was time to park the van inside a nearby forest.

She equipped a backpack, painted herself invisible, turned laser defense detectors on, alarm dampeners on and a set of sound dampeners on. When she was done, she got out of the van and slowly started walking towards the farm, making sure to not step on a grass that would give herself away. When she reached the farm, she climbed inside through a window. The readings led her to farm's kitchen and detector signal showed something underneath. She quickly found a hatch hidden under kitchen's carpet. Lisa opened the hatch and climbed down.

What Lisa found was not that surprising. It was a hidden laboratory. She was a bit disappointed on how clean and sterile it was with everything in specialized cabinets and drawers. Only a few devices were on a table. Lisa, meanwhile, preferred having tubes, flasks and beakers and other such devices filling her lab.

One very notable feature of the lab was a shelf that currently held eleven jars. The high-tech jars contained fetuses in various stages of growth. Jars were neatly labeled with names of the parents of the fetus. Most of the names were not familiar to Lisa but one of the fetuses caught her attention. The vessel with fetus in question had a note on it that said:

"Sex: F. Mother: Lana Loud. Father: Lincoln Loud."

Lisa looked at a fetus inside it. Then she looked at the extraction date and found that she was still a month away from being done. Lana would be so happy, she thought.

Lisa started opening drawers. She found a few quadcopter drones in some of them, sterilizers and baby blankets in others. Then she found a substance that smelled weird. Lisa tasted it and indeed it was the same thing she found in Liby's jar's nutrient compartment.

Lisa opened up her backpack and took out numerous cameras and microphones. She had used invisible paint on cameras and microphones as well. Lisa bugged the place up to see what happens. After she was done, she got out of the laboratory, then out from the farm and walked all the way back to Vanzilla. There, she deactivated her dampeners and detectors and washed off the invisible paint.

"Phew!" said Lisa. Only a minor spacetime curving happened that was so slight that by the time the breeder would arrive, nothing would be noticed aside from a noticeable feeling of walking downhill.

* * *

When Lisa got home, she immediately started observing the lab through the cameras. Soon, Lisa saw a scientist enter the lab. She was a middle-aged woman wearing glasses and having reddish hair. Lisa recognized the figure as Dr j. from Royal Roods Science Institute. The one who offered her a full-time job at Royal Woods Science Institute which Lisa first accepted and then declined.

"Anticlimatic."

Regulations of the science institute went much stricter shortly soon after Dr. J showed up at her doorstep although plans of regulations were planned a few years before. It's not a wonder then why Dr. J. decided to conduct her experiments in a more remote place.

Lisa observed how Dr. J approached one of the jars, emptied the waste product container, added nutrients to nutrient container and oxygen to oxygen container.

Dr. J then proceeded to open her laptop. Hardly anyone used laptops these days. Lisa saw Dr. J open up a spreadsheet database of some sort. She started to slowly scroll through the list. From left to right she saw the following: "Parent 1, Parent 2, Child, Status, DNA From, Genes modified."

Dr. J was not in a hurry and slowly browsed through her list. She was clearly feeling good about herself. Lisa looked the footage slower, stopping when necessary. She saw the "DNA from" column was filled with cell types mainly obtained from sweat, saliva, skin, and hair.

"Intelligent."

At 202nd row, the status 'Delivered' was replaced into 'In progress'. 11 pairs of names had this status as Lisa expected, one of the pairs being in Lincoln and Lana. Further names were in 'planned' stage. She saw one pair of names on the list that caught her attention.

"Parent1: Lincoln Loud. Parent2 Lisa Loud. Child: ?. Status: Planned. DNA from: Saliva/Not obtained. Genes modified: N/A"

"It's on!"

Lisa observed her being in the basement for about an hour. After looking through the remainder of the list files, Doctor J. closed her laptop. The doctor then replaced another one of the fetus' container compartments and left the basement. Lisa concluded from the 'DNA From' column that the whole thing seemed that it was more like Dr. J's passion project than actual science. Lisa also decided that it was time to take out her old research document on fetus jars that she had written shortly after Liby was born and workings of the jar Liby had been in, were inspected.

* * *

The next day, everything was kind of like usual. Liena was cooking meals for everyone as Lynn senior was at work. Lisa took some blood samples from herself and started replicating white blood cells until she got enough of what she needed. Then she went down to the pantry and brought a bag of sugar, a bottle of cooking oil, and a few vitamin and mineral tablets with her. She went to the kitchen and said:

"Liena, I have a request."

"?"

"Can you mix these ingredients plus ten eggs up for twenty American dollars?"

Liena looked at the ingredients. "What culinary nightmare is this?"

"It's a feed. For an experiment."

Liena pulled out a text card that said "What kind of an experiment?". Old habits die hard.

"A gift for Lana."

Liena sighed and took out a large blender. Lisa added all the ingredients to the mix and poured lots of water on it. Liena pressed start button until everything was mixed up. Easiest 20 bucks she made this week. Lisa put a finger inside the mixture for a taste test.

"Needs more iron. Lemy!"

Lisa ran through the dining room to Lemy's room and entered after knocking. Leny was currently playing his washboard while Lacy supported him with a cowbell. From how they sounded, Lisa came to the conclusion that they needed some serious practice.

"What's up, Lisa?"

"Sorry to interrupt but do you have some possessions that contain metal?"

"What? Metal?"

"I need just a few grams. What about your metal marbles?"

"No way!"

"20 American Dollars for three of them?"

"Yes way!"

Lemy handed Lisa marbles and took 20 dollars in return.

Lacy looked at Lemy: "Wow! Hey, Lemy! Let's buy some ice cream with all that money!"

"But it's winter!"

"I'll piggyback you!"

"Ok then!"

When Lemy and Lacy started getting ready, Lisa returned to the kitchen. She waited until Liena looked away, proceeded to add marbles into the mix and blended the whole thing again. Lisa then turned towards Liena.

"Liena, can you taste the sample."

Liena tasted it.

"Blyeeh!" and she spat it out.

"So far so good."

Lisa took the mixture and carried it to the third floor. "Luan, can you taste a sample?"

Luan tasted it and said. "Meh. Only really good for 'pie in a face' prank.

Finally, Lisa carried the mixture to a garage.

"Grandfather, can you taste this...experimental meal?"

"Alright, Lisa."

Albert tasted it.

"Mmmm! Can I have more?"

"No. I just needed calibration. Liena disapproved, Luan found it bland and you gave positive feedback, just as predicted."

Finally, Lisa carried the concoction to the tiny sub-basement room. She'd be needing that in the following days, she concluded.

* * *

When the night arrived, Lisa drove off with Vanzilla again, this time with a luggage module. She stationed herself near the farm and waited for Dr. J to arrive. She indeed did arrive and enter the farm. Lisa waited until she came into view of her planted cameras. After that, she called the police.

"Michigan State police."

"Hello. This is Lisa Loud. It's about the serial breeder."

"Lisa Loud? Name's familiar. You became the target family of a serial breeder as well?"

"Not yet. However, I found an individual responsible for the infants bred in captivity."

There was clear excitement on the other side of a phone. "You mean, you've found the serial breeder?"

"Affirmative. The culprit is one of the more prominent figures of Royal Woods Science Institute."

Lisa then proceeded to give the information about the breeder, including her current position.

"So the case is finally solved?"

SWAT team arrived in ten minutes. In those days it was a rare sight to see police in 'normal' uniform. One of the policemen asked:

"So this is Lisa Loud?"

"Correct."

"Is the suspect armed?"

"From what information I gathered, negative. Shall I stay here or leave the area?"

Police told her to stay away from the farm just in case but still keep contact. Then they silently approached the farm. When they arrived, the house alarm was activated. Lisa told them where the secret hatch was while checking the camera footage. Police found and opened it and went down. There they found the doctor herself who was sitting on a chair with her head down, sighing.

"Don't move!"

Dr. J. didn't move. Police pinned her down and handcuffed her. They started their usual arrest procedures. Dr. J. didn't really resist and 'voluntarily' went out of the lab, then out of the farm and finally, she entered the police van.

Lisa was in still contact with the police who eventually gave her permission to enter the lab again. Lisa was quick to respond the permission. Police had taken their attention to the fetuses and asked Lisa:

"So, what are we going to do with the fetuses?"

"I shall be taking one. As a present to my sister."

"Present?"

"Ah. One of my members of a sibling unit can't wait to achieve motherhood with her brother being the other parent."

"With her brother? Does she want to have a deformed offspring?"

Lisa replied: "Dr. J has proven to be a capable breeder after her initial failures. Also, can I see Dr. J's laptop? She has a database of doorstep babies."

After some more talking, police handed Lisa the laptop. Through some hacking, they finally accessed her computer and then the database of names. Lisa started browsing the spreadsheet. She clicked some of the names of children. On top of the list were the oldest children with no gene modifications. Loan was there as well. Detailed information also contained the methods from how she delivered these babies to her victims.

Then came the first people with modified genes. She clicked the row that had Lincoln's and Leni's name on it. After looking through the details, she concluded.

"Looks like she made some embarrassing errors in here. For an example, I would have replaced that A-T-G-G-T part with A-C-G-G-A and the end product would have had no speech impediments."

Next, she scrolled down to the Lincoln's and Lana's name to see modified genes. After seeing the genes and how they were altered Lisa concluded:

"Lizy will be fine! Requesting permission to obtain my double niece."

After a short discussion, they gave her permission. Lisa took her siblings' unborn daughter with her while taking photos with the rest of the fetuses. Afterward, remaining ten jars were taken to Royal Woods Science Institute, waiting for the decision of their parents.

* * *

Lisa returned home with the jar inside a luggage module. She had wrapped it inside a blanket found in that farm, put that blanket inside a box, and driven very slowly to make sure that Lizy wouldn't get hurt. Once she arrived home and parked the van, she grabbed the box and entered the house through the backyard door.

The door to the basement was currently closed. Lisa knew what it meant. She put down the box and opened the door. A small amount of black smoke emerged. Lupa was sitting on the stairs, inhaling coal box smoke. She finished up the coal and blew the last set of smoke rings.

"Hi, Lis."

"Hello!"

"Whatcha carrying now?"

"Present for Lizy...I mean...Lana!" Lisa realized her mistake.

"Looks like you spilled your beans! It's an unborn child, right?"

"Correct. Just don't tell Lana yet. She'll know within a few hours."

"Can I watch you carrying it downstairs? I really want you to see you dropping the baby. What would Lana say?"

"You have sadistic tendencies."

"Do you need any more help carrying?"

Lisa jumped as Lucy, who had popped up behind Lisa, asking that question. She dropped the box but Lupa was quick to react and catch it.

"I thought you said you wanted to see the Lizy being dropped!"

"I was kidding. I'm not that evil. Besides, live Lizy can cause more chaos than aborted Lizy."

"Lizy? So Lana is another unfortunate soul?" asked Lucy.

"Fortunate soul. For Lana at least! Another abomination in the house!" corrected Lupa.

They entered the extra bedroom. Lucy and Lupa helped Lisa to squeeze the box down the hatch and into the small sub-basement room via a tight corridor.

"You'll have the honor to take an early look at our newest member of the offspring unit."

Lisa opened the box and removed the blanket around the jar.

"A frail new life, almost killed by my unexpected appearance."

"Cool! What happens if I break it?"

"You would be helping to make a small coffin with me."

"For her or me?"

"Depends on how Lana would respond," said Lisa.

"That reminds me. I have yet to make dual coffins for the young ones."

Lisa then responded: "By the way, Lizy is not ready to be extracted yet as you can see on the date. Anyway, thank you for your assistance! Now the scientist needs her hour to observe this experiment."

When Lupa and her mother climbed out of the sub-basement, they encountered Lincoln.

"Seems that night owls are awake. What are you up to?"

"Our daughter just saved an experiment from being ruined."

"What experiment?"

"Here's a hint: It's not Lisa's experiment. Hey, dad! Let me show you.!"

While Lucy went to her room, Lupa took Lincoln's hand and dragged her into the sub-basement room where Lisa had just fallen asleep. Lincoln looked at the fetus.

Lincoln whispered. "Hi, Lis! So...that's my daughter?" Lupa nodded in response.

"Hi! Indeed it is!"

"She's...small."

"She's not ready yet." responded Lisa.

"When is..." Lincoln looked at the names and dates on a jar..."Oh. A month."

After looking at Lizy for a few moments, they left.

"See you soon, you two" said Lincoln as they left the room and emerged.

"By the way, how did you save this experiment?"

Lupa told her about how Lucy's sudden appearance would have almost ended badly.

"Good job, Lupa!". Lincoln patted Lupa's head. It was one of the rare times Lupa genuinely smiled. "Hopefully Lucy won't drown in self-guilt."

Lupa and Lucy went to their rooms.

* * *

Early in the morning, Lisa knocked at Lana's bedroom door. Lana was currently awake.

"Come in! How's yer day?"

"Lana, I have some news for you. The serial breeder has been caught!"

"Wait? What? Really? But...I haven't had a child yet…" Lana became sad.

"I would like you to observe something."

Lisa took out her phone and showed Lana a picture of ten jars with fetuses laying on a shelf in a secret lab. Lana's mood went up again.

"Is one of them for me? Come on! Please be! Please, please, please!" asked Lana hopefully.

"No."

"Does that mean that...I...never get a..." She couldn't finish the sentence before she started crying.

"Follow me downstairs. Or by more correct definition, down the ladder."

They entered the extra bedroom with a trail of tears behind Lana. Lisa opened the hatch and they descended down to a sub-basement again. They squeezed through the tight corridor and made it to the small room.

"There she is." She showed her the jar with a note and more importantly, her unborn daughter.

Lana's tears stopped. "Is this really Lizy?"

"Affirmative. Be good to her!"

Lana couldn't be happier. "Finally! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you so, so much!".

She hugged Lisa.

"I...need...to...breathe!"

Then Lana let go and tried to hug the fetus container before she realized that this might not have been the best idea.

* * *

A few hours later, most of the family was eating breakfast in the dining room. Liena and Lynn sr had made a meal from previous day's dinner leftovers. Rita was reading the news as the first news articles about the incident started to appear online.

"Caught! Prolific scientist arrested for serial breeding. More than two hundred people bred. List of victim includes a family with eleven siblings…wait? She's caught? That's right, children! That criminal is finally caught!"

"Really? Finally!"

Rita proceeded to read the article to others and arrived at the part that described how Dr. J. was arrested.

Lyra looked at Lisa. "Wait? You helped to catch her?"

Lisa nodded!

"Did you turn Dr. J into a human double helix?"

Lisa shook her head.

"You should have! I hope she literally rots in prison! I have suffered Loan's company long…" Lori stopped.

"So I'm...not wanted in here?" Loan went nervous again.

"That's not what I meant!"

Lacy spoke: "Should that Dr. J be rewarded instead? You know? Murderers get a prison time so should doing the opposite be awarded with free time?"

Meanwhile, Liby was a bit disappointed. "No foreshadowing, no climax, no nothing! This would make a terrible mystery novel. Dr. J just appeared out of...nowhere and was arrested as quickly as she appeared!"

Rita responded. "Listen, Liby. Life isn't a mystery novel. Things aren't always that exciting in real life."

"You're implying that serial breeding is boring?" responded Lana in return.

Lincoln was also a bit frustrated. "All the signs showed that they were bred by a capable scientist. Someone who could remove all tracks of itself. And the police didn't even search and keep an eye on her beforehand?"

"They didn't even have suspicion on me either." Said Lisa. "And I am known to make unreliable inventions."

"Maybe they just wanted them to happen."

Lyra was a bit excited. "Can't wait till my mother gets back from tour and hear this. I'll call her in the meantime."

Luan looked at Lana: "Why aren't you looking sad, Lana? Breed-n't you want a child with Linc?"

The family looked at Lana after booing Luan. The exception was Lynn Senior who laughed at Luan's pun.

"Well...she got to breed me and Linc before she was arrested!"

"How'd you know?" asked Lynn Junior.

"Because...I saw Lizy!"

A second of silence was interrupted by Leni. "Congratulations, Lana! Wait...how did she breed you?"

Lisa explained as best as she could.

"So, just DNA from two people, an artificial egg cell and that's it?"

"Yes."

Lily asked: "So, ms. Mud, where is your unborn daughter?"

"Wanna take a look? I'll show you."

"You know, Lans, what you just said sounds so wrong out of context.", noted Lynn Junior.

"That's out-of-womb fetuses for ya!"

* * *

Lana ran to the extra bedroom with the family behind her. She opened a hatch and climbed down the sub-basement with most of the family right at her tail.

"There she is! Isn't she the best?"

"Amazing!", said Lynn Junior who was the first after Lana to arrive.

Lincoln was the next to see Lizy.

"There we are." Lincoln gave Lana a pat on the head.

"Yea!" responded Lana, "Lizy, your papa is here!"

"Let me see!" was heard from a corridor.

Lynn tried to go back but she was stuck just because how tight the corridor was and all the people waiting in line.

"Make way, make way!"

It took quite a few minutes for everyone to get out of the corridor and queue up in front of the extra bedroom. This time things were more orderly although Leia complained she wasn't the first one to see Lizy. Lacy killed time by running to the third floor and back a few times until most of the family had seen the new child. After everyone had taken a sneak peek at the unborn baby, Lana announced:

"Oh, I'm going to be so good mother! I'll teach Lizy so many things when she is out!"

"Like what? How to make a pillow out of mud and grease?" responded Lola.

"Umm...yea! And how to make Fluffypuff doll out of armpit hair I gathered from all the showers. You, know, that doll you like to hug during the night."

"Ewww!"

"I was kidding! It also has hair from my pet spiders!"

That scared Leni.

"So, should we take Lizy out now?" asked Lori.

"Not yet," said Lisa. "End of Lizy's gestation period is still twenty-nine days away."

"These are going to be the longest days of my life," admitted Lana.

Lisa realized she forgot to tell about the effects of Lizy's genes. "Fortunately, Lizy has some interesting genetic alterations. She can start learning verbal communication right now. By the time she's ready to be extracted, she should know a few words."

"I'll make sure to teach her the best words!" responded Lana.

* * *

A few days later Dr. J. was taken into court.

Lori, Lincoln, Lisa, Lynn Senior, Rita, and Liena were the only ones from the family in court. They soon found out that they had it relatively easy compared to some other victims. There were a mother and father who were one of the first victims of the breeder and whose son had schizophrenia, then there was a mother who was bred with someone who lived in Sub-Saharan Africa. Then there were a man and a woman who were bred despite those two hating each other's guts when their child was delivered. There also a child whose real parents were terminally ill when their DNA was obtained and then bred a year after they died. Finally, there was a son and mother with their child.

Dr. J tried to defend herself by stating that her research is beneficial for infertile couples and modifying genes would make it possible for relatives to get a disease-free child, removing the need to illegalize incest in the first place. However, prosecutors noted that some of her 'research' were unscientific as she didn't specify what kind of cell DNA samples were collected from. The delivery methods and the choice of her 'clients' were also considered questionable in some cases.

Ultimately, Dr. J was found guilty, was sentenced twenty years in prison and had to pay compensation for all the families. While Dr. J was wealthy, the amount of compensation was still over her caliber. Royal Woods Science Institute agreed to help the families as well, including the Loud family. As Lisa Loud gave major contribution that led to Dr. J's arrest, she received extra bounty.

Dr. J's arguments did spark major debates about what's right and what's wrong but that's another story. As for the ten remaining fetuses, all ten parent pairs accepted them.

* * *

Days couldn't go any slower for Lana. Every day she visited the tiny sub-basement with Lisa to make sure that Lizy was ok and occasionally to empty and restock jar's the life support compartments. Lisa had made plenty of mixture to last several few days but they needed more. At least with the need of metal, their old rusty tools and items could finally be put to use.

Lana remembered Lincoln's eighteenth birthday very well. She watched the footage of Liby's extraction a few times a day. She even went to the remaining part of the third-floor attic to practice on Liby's old jar by placing one of Liena's old dolls in it and then taking it out. One day Lana waved at Lizy who waved back at her. That made Lana's day and she just couldn't wait for the big day to happen.

* * *

Winter finally arrived and with that, the day of extraction. The family did prepare beforehand. Supply box was taken out for the final time.

Lisa dragged the jar out of the sub-basement. Lana was there to help her lift the container up to the basement level. Lana then carried the jar in the middle of the basement between Lincoln's room and the stairs. The entire family was there with some filming and taking pictures. Lincoln and Lana decided that this time it's Lana who takes Lizy out.

"So the day has finally come when my twin sister becomes a mother. You're going to treat her like a princess?"

"You bet I will. Actually, I'm gonna treat her as my daughter. Anyway, bro, be next to me now! I bet you're gonna be a good pops for her!"

"Alright! And you, be a good mom!"

Lynn tried to encourage Lana as well. "You've got this, sis!"

Then the crowd went silent as Lana started doing the procedures. First, she removed the safety ring, then the lid.

"PUSH! PUSH!"

The tense mood was replaced with laughs.

"Thank you, Libs." said Lana sarcastically.

"No other chance to make that joke so better make the most of it."

"Guess that means that my daughter's joke was...birth it?"

Laughs were replaced with groans except for Leia and Lynn Senior who kept laughing.

"Anyway…"

Lana's hands were shaking as she lowered her arms into the jar and grabbed Lizy by her sides.

"Here you are, Lizy! Finally! Come to mama!"

Lana lifted Lizy out from the jar.

"Careful!"

Lana almost yanked the cords off Lizy. Realizing her mistake, she felt horrified. The mood was tense again with some crossing their fingers. Fortunately for Lana, after a minute, Lizy started coughing and spitting out the jar fluid. Lana felt relieved. After Lizy had cleared her lungs, she said: "Hi, mom!"

Some jumped, some went "aww".

"Hi, Lizy!" said Lana who hugged her.

Albert was amazed. "She can talk?"

"Amazing!" said Lola.

Lincoln removed the cords while Lana was still busy hugging Lizy. Lisa informed that no health checks are necessary. Luna quickly arrived with a towel to clean both Lizy and Lana who didn't bother to even roll up her sleeves to take Lizy out. It didn't take long for the family to get the baby wrapped up. Then everyone went to the living room to perform the now-traditional holding ceremony.

After that was over, Lana asked Lizy: "Can you say "I love you!"?"

Lizy was silent.

"Guess she doesn't love you after all. Sigh," said Lucy.

"Yes, she does!"

Lincoln had an idea. "Since Lizy is probably my last child, I got an idea! Let's find all the baby books to relive memories."

* * *

The quickly gathered the baby books found inside the lower drawer of the family history case. They started with Leia's.

"I and my brother indeed look like a royal family in here with our dear Leia."

"That's right, miss Glitter!" responded Luna.

Lincoln admitted that "The ceremony was pretty...cringy. Blame Lily for that! That girl sure is something!"

Next up was Lemy.

"I was born on a rainy day?"

"Well, you were discovered on a rainy day. Although just before it started to rain. Everybody was calm when it started raining."

"Riding Vanzilla became just so fun after the rebuild," admitted Luna.

Next up, the family had a laugh when they showed infant Lupa in a bee suit.

"Wait? Who put me inside a bee costume? I'm so gonna…"

"It was Liena's idea!"

Lupa clenched her fist towards Liena.

"You'll regret it!"

Next came Lacy's turn.

"Wait? Was 'incest' really Lacy's first word?" asked Lyra.

"Yes. Just like yours!" replied Luan. "Guess some people in our family just...incest that this word is important."

Liby responded: "Do you know what's the difference between our current president and my mom? When the president starts running his mouth, everybody laughs!"

Some members of the family could have sworn they felt something burning.

Family started to go Liby's baby book.

"So she already had teeth?"

"Yup."

Liby asked: "How did you like your birthday present?"

"Well, I had fun drawing and reading comics to your older sis-cousins."

"I meant me as a present!"

"Oh...that too! You're a good present as well."

Next up was Lyra.

"Haha! That's a cute pic!"

"Well, it was Lola's idea to make this tablet family photo. I mean, I was on tour and had no other choice!"

They opened Liena's book.

"That's my dear baby!"

"So her first word was "Dot dot dot dot...dot?", asked Lacy.

"It's a simple word," said Liena.

Her mother said: "Did you know how quiet my angel was when she was as a baby?"

"But some of my pets really hated her. So much of that...ultrasound crying," said Lana.

"Can you do ultrasound again?"

Liena nodded and started to open her mouth.

"I advice against it." warned Lisa. "Infants have the ability to hear ultrasound."

Finally, they reached Loan's book.

"Why aren't you two smiling for real?" asked Loan.

"Because you're my first daughter."

"So I...wasn't...wanted after all?" Loan started shaking again.

"Not initially but then…we accepted you," admitted Lori.

"Lori!" warned Lincoln. "Listen, Loan! We value you as all the other kids."

Lemy interrupted. "Dad, are you glad we all exist?"

"You see, with unexpected children like you, being glad of you happens in time."

After more conversation. Lizy opened her mouth again.

"I'm the best bastard!"

The living room was filled with laughs and "excuse me?"s.

"Who taught her that?", asked Rita.

Lucy and Lupa admitted that they did.

"As predicted."

"What's a bastard?" asked Leia.

Lincoln quickly explained Leia what bastard means.

"That reminds me...child of unmarried parents. Lana, I think it's time for your wedding dress!" said Lola.

Lana remembered her promise three years earlier. Guess now comes for the low moment of her day, she thought.

Lola couldn't wait to see Lana wearing the dress. "Come on, I'm waiting."

* * *

Lana started slowly walking upstairs to Leni's room. Leni followed her. Ten minutes later she came back, wearing a blue and black wedding dress that had a jacket over it.

"You look really…" Lincoln thought about his choice of words… "cool!"

"Um...thanks.". It was clear that Lana didn't enjoy being in a wedding dress. After posing in front of a camera again, she finally had enough.

"OkayI'mdone."

She took off her wedding dress, revealing that she was wearing her normal clothes underneath.

"Lana Loud, always prepared."

Lana doubted if Lizy was worth having to wear a wedding dress. After some thinking, she concluded: Maybe she was.

* * *

In the evening, the family was eating dinner, talking about the new child, Dr. J, and their monetary situation. Lisa then unexpectedly laid a down a piece of paper on a table. This plan was clearly more well-thought-out than previous ones as it was carefully sketched with a ruler. Lynn senior sighed.

"Here we go again...not that I mind."

Rita asked: "So what's that? Where is this going to be?"

"Sub-basement. My sub-basement pilot program is not spacious enough to conduct my further experiments. As our family has a lot of funds I propose a full-sized sub-basement."

Lisa continued to explain: "As you can see, my current experiment chamber will become a place to store my clothing while that larger room next to it will become my room. Meanwhile, the centerpiece is this floor will by my laboratory. The room to the right of my bedroom."

"And that other small room next to your room?" asked Loan.

"That's for...umm...for my personal projects."

Lola had doubts about design choices. "Does the sub-basement corridor need to have two bends?"

Lana pointed at another small room sketch. "And that room would be...?"

"Mechanical room. Finally, we can clear out the basement floor from equipment that didn't fit into basement's mechanical room."

Loan asked: "Um...can I...get a room on sub-basement level as well?"

Lori shook her head. "I have a feeling that you're going to see the surface of this world even less. Well, I suppose you can. You're an adult now after all."

Luna had an idea as well. "Since the floor is as underground as some of the songs I play, what about a place for me to jam?"

Lyra and Lemy agreed. Lisa drew a square and labeled it 'music room'.

Lupa asked: "Greatgramps? What do you think?"

Albert sighed and looked? "What about a corridor so I wouldn't have to freeze me butt every time I need to go from house to house?"

"It'll be fun watching great-gramps climbing a ladder and stairs every time he wants to go to the kitchen."

Lily wasn't pleased. "Let me guess, Lupa: You'll let this poor old man do errands?"

"I didn't think about that but thanks for the idea!"

Lacy was happy though. "I can run errands for him instead!"

"That's my good daughter!"

Lynn senior asked the family: "Since all the excess mechanical machinery now goes in the sub-basement, what are we gonna do with the freed-up corner of the basement?"

"Hot tub!" proposed Lemy!

Luna agreed. "My son knows where it's at!"

"But I wanted a place to dance," complained Lacy.

After some discussion, things started to escalate. Almost everyone had a different idea what to do with the freed-up part. They decided to dig out some more basement to make it bigger. After some more plans...well...what they ended up with was a recreational room equivalent to their Vanzilla. Lori looked the end result.

"We literally can't afford...!"

"Says a CEO who could feed me and rest of the kids herself!" noted her daughter.

Lynn senior sighed after looking at the schematics.

"So be it. We can start the construction in January! Three cheers for our house!". Lynn Senior lifted his glass of tea. Others grabbed whatever they had on hand: Mug of milk, water, coffee, can of condensed milk, a bottle of soda, a bottle of milk, a flower vase, you name it.

"And three and a half cheers for Lizy Loud," responded Lincoln.

"Can I give Lizy two thumbs up instead?" proposed Lana.

* * *

In the late evening, Lincoln and Lana decided to visit the tower. They let Liena take care of Lizy in the meantime. Lana and Lincoln reached the fourth floor, put on their winter attire, and entered the attic where Lucy's bats were hibernating. They opened the hatch on the attic roof that led to the tower and started climbing up. Soon, they reached the top. It was a nice winter weather outside. The snow was slowly falling.

"You know, if it hadn't been winter, I would have brought my daughter up here and show her the world."

"Yea, like we need even more attention."

They lit a lantern on the roof of the lookout tower instead to celebrate.

"How does it feel to finally have a daughter?"

"Like this!" Lana hugged Lincoln tightly.

"Didn't expect that from you!" Lincoln hugged Lana back. "So...how long did you want to be a mother?"

"Seeeveral years. Yup. Ever since Lupa!"

"Way earlier! I remember you hatching birds."

"Forgot about that. Gotta prepare early? If Lizy had come from an egg I would have gladly hatched her all day with you!"

They laughed.

"So imagine if the breeder had been caught before Lizy was...made."

"Then I...would have...had to ask Lisa's help instead. I was afraid to ask. You know her experiments and how often they fail."

"I wouldn't have wanted to see your face if your child would have been just…exploded."

"Exploded baby would be gross though."

"I thought you liked gross things!"

Both of them laughed.

"Maybe I should have asked Lisa to make it so that Lizy could explode and pull herself back together again! You know, best of both worlds."

"That's something Lisa could make for sure."

"You think Lisa is going to make a child herself by now?"

"You'll never know her. She works in mysterious ways."

After enjoying an evening winter scene for a few minutes, they stopped hugging climbed back down. They ultimately concluded that the biggest abomination of the neighborhood wasn't any of Lincoln's children but the house itself, even if it's the abomination at its best.

* * *

They took Lizy from Liena and went to Lana's room.

"You know what Linc?"

"What worries you today, Lans?"

"Nothing! That's how happy I am! Well, one thing does worry me though."

"And that'll be…"

"It's going to take a long time to teach Lizy the names of all the animals in my room. Right, Lizy?"

"Hi, mom!"

* * *

 **Not really proud of this chapter. Glad that I made the criminal not the main thing of the story.**


	11. Cocoon

Chapter 11: Cocoon

* * *

When the next calendar year arrived, construction started yet again.

The expansion also provided an opportunity for Lisa to test out her another permanent invention: The super tunneling machine. Some of the family were concerned about the cave-ins as there was quite a bit of the house above the sub-basement. They didn't have to worry as only one square meter of basement hallway collapsed and that only because the super-tunneler ran out of concrete. After the rooms finally got carved out, the walls were strengthened. Lisa made sure that walls of her laboratory, her room, her closet and especially another small room that Lisa's room led into, were reinforced with steel, uranium and numerous exotic materials she managed to get her hands on.

As Loan and Lisa moved to the sub-basement, Leia begged to have a bedroom in the basement, just like Lupa had. Lola wanted to make her daughter happy although she herself was against it at first. That was probably because anyone who tries to like a queen is usually not living in mother's basement. Lana, meanwhile, moved to the third floor with Lizy.

The planned 'recreational center' complex was also added to the basement. Obviously, sometimes there were disputes when the recreational center should be set to 'spa', 'sports room' or 'plain' configuration but usually things were resolved relatively quickly. Sometimes even anyone unnecessarily getting wet or stuck in retracting architecture.

Lola wanted to make sure that the basement floor wouldn't look like a basement so she started decorating the hallway and painting the basement hall in pink color. Lupa and Lucy didn't approve of this. Eventually, after some disputes, they decided that the part of the hallway that's closer to the extra bedroom would become pink while the part closer to sub-basement stairs would become black with the center, the area near Lincoln's door would be painted orange.

* * *

Lori's and Loan's relations improved as Lori realized that she might have been too harsh of Loan in the past.

Dr. J. Was allowed to write a science paper about what she did. A few months after the arrest, a paper titled "Breeding humans from somatic cells. Methods and results." was released. A physical copy of that paper was printed out which ended in Loud family history cabinet. With the exception of abstract, introduction and conclusion section, the paper was difficult to understand by anyone other than Lisa.

Obviously, Lisa took a close look at it, writing down all the necessary details she found interesting. And so, her research shifted by putting this knowledge to use. In the kitchen, she started making various mixtures and letting family members taste them. Often, she even used spices in a rack that were marked with skulls, radiation symbols or biohazard symbols.

Kids often ran to the sub-basement to see what kind of stuff Lisa had invented. Laboratory was a fun place to play in and by Lisa's behavior, she didn't really mind. In fact, it seemed that them being in the lab was just part of her experiments. Invention of penicillin was an inspiration for Lisa as penicillin discovered by accident so Lisa tried to deliberately set up conditions for incidents to happen. Sometimes she even succeeded.

Lisa also didn't mind anyone entering her 'small room for personal experiments' room that had even more warnings than her own and laboratory's room. Anyone other than Lisa who tried to take a look, shut the door quickly after seeing various appendages, eyes, and other things facing them. It was one of the ways Lisa got entertainment.

* * *

It was a beautiful day in late summer about one and a half years after Lizy was extracted. Liby, Lily, and Lemy were in the tower, enjoying the fresh air and the view of the sunset, Lyra and Lola were on a roof terrace, drinking tea and having a chat. Lacy was running around in the neighborhood. The rest of the family was in their rooms. Lincoln was drawing a picture of the house he was living in.

Lisa knocked on Lincoln's door and entered his room.

"Sup, Lis."

"Greetings, older sibling."

"So, what worries you today?"

"Nothing. I invite you to take a sneak peek of my personal and hopefully permanent experiment."

"Another one?"

"This is not an ordinary experiment. After numerous years of preliminary research, my experiment has finally progressed to the point where it is relatively safe to reveal it."

"I don't have a good feeling about this."

They left Lincoln's room and walked down the stairs to the sub-basement. The sub-basement corridor, while narrower than hallways of other floors, was still wide enough to let two people pass each other. At the end of the winding main corridor, there was Lisa's room. After entering Lisa's bedroom, Lisa announced.

"I shall be revealing you the result of Project Lulu."

"Lulu? Wait a minute...Four letters and it starts with L...I think I know what this is about. Let me guess: That 'Lulu' is my daughter and your daughter?"

"You are absolutely correct."

Lincoln sighed.

"Oh well. What kind of an abomination have you created this time?"

"A very versatile one. I will open Lulu's chamber. No need to stay alarmed. Any excess creatures have been cleaned out." Lisa pointed at the door that led to the mysterious room.

"Lulu's...chamber? So that's what the small room was for instead of your monster storage?"

They opened the door to Lulu's room.

"What is this...thing?"

What Lincoln saw was a white cocoon that had been opened. On the floor, he saw a human baby...at least she looked like a human. She had already been dressed up and given a pacifier.

"Hello, Lulu! Your paternal unit is here to observe you."

Lulu leaped on Lincoln's chest.

"Aaah!"

To say that Lincoln was a bit scared, would be a slight understatement.

"Lis...um...I'm a bit of afraid of her. That's not what newborn babies usually do. Or, in this case, newhatched baby."

"Lulu, retract your claws! This is your father, Lincoln Loud. Lincoln just wants to take care of you from now on and he poses no danger to you."

Lulu retracted her claws and her hands looked normal again.

"What have you done to our...daughter?"

"Nothing major in particular. For now. At least nothing major that I am aware of. Just a few appendages, glands, organs, metabolism changes and so on. There may be some other alterations but I haven't done research on that. And do not worry about the claws either. These are just baby claws."

"They looked rather sharp for baby claws."

"But she at least didn't scratch you this time."

"This time?"

"She could develop a tendency to scratch various textures during its first major life stage, if not properly trained."

"It just gets better and better..."

"Anyway, now that you have seen a preview, I have to prepare her for the next day. I chose this date to show her to you as tomorrow the entire family unit is at home."

"Well, Lulu left me quite an impression."

Lisa grabbed Lulu again. "Anyway, thank you for visiting. Lulu, wave goodbye!"

Lulu waved at Lincoln. This time with no anomalies. Lincoln nervously waved back at her and left the room. When he started to leave, he saw Lisa starting to work on an ear tag. Lincoln went upstairs to the basement again, shaking almost as much as Loan.

At night, when Lincoln went to sleep, he said to himself: "Oh dear! What have I gotten myself into?"

* * *

The next day, Lisa called the rest of the family to gather in her room. Needless to say, Lisa's room was rather packed.

"As you all are aware of, on average, Dr. J's experiments were rather uninspired. Nine of her two hundred and twelve examples are in this room right now."

"My kids are not uninspired!" protested Luna.

"Anyway, the entire offspring unit inspired me to prove that significantly more superior organisms by combining DNA of sibling units can be created."

Lori wasn't that impressed. "Another...inbred kid?"

"Technically you are correct. In fact, I did not alter our genes at all aside from a few disease immunities. I did add a few chromosomes. And did some other Non-DNA modifications. So, now that the introduction is over, let us begin. Lincoln, open the door."

Lincoln opened Lulu's chamber door and Lulu crawled out of it. This time she was wearing an ear tag that said "12".

"Awww!" was heard.

"Say hello to Lulu Loud. Our newest member of the family unit! She's my daughter and Lincoln's daughter."

"She's crawling already? That's not what newborn babies do."

Leni asked: "Why does she have a large ear thingy that says 1 and 2? Is she, sort of, like, Lynn and Lacy?"

"That? This simply means she's the twelfth iteration of Project Lulu."

Lana was a bit worried. "So...what happened to the previous eleven?"

"About that...well...I decided not to let them go to waste so I just merged them with the current one."

"It just gets worse and worse."

"I have made several improvements to the ordinary plain homo sapiens. First, Lulu is capable of vertical and upside-down surface locomotion. In layman's terms, she can crawl on walls and ceilings."

Lisa picked up Lulu and placed her on a wall and indeed, Lulu didn't fall down. Instead, she started crawling on a wall. The family was a bit scared.

"The adhesives that I used on her suit also made it onto Lulu."

"But...what if she goes into places where we can't reach her?"

"Ah, we just use a simple biscuit to lure her back. Anyway, second improvement: Her food digestion efficiency is one hundred percent. In simpler words, you do not need to change her."

"So, basically, your digestion pill supercharged?" asked Lily.

"Correct. Third improvement: she doesn't make unpleasant high-pitched noises when in need of something. Basically, she doesn't cry."

"That's a relief. But how do we know when she needs something?"

"That leads us to final main improvement...well, an improvement that I know of. She has appendages to help her perform various activities and signal various needs. Lulu, open your mouth and show me."

Lulu removed her pacifier, opened her mouth and showed her tongue to reveal that it could split into three. Some screams were heard from the crowd.

"Don't worry. This tongue is still in the developmental stage. "

Leia hugged Lola. "Mom, I'm scared."

Lisa tried to calm the rest of the family down. "No need to be scared. The current orifice and jaw configuration seems to be less unusual than the previous one. Two days ago she had a tongue that had four small fangs at the end. It seems her appendages do alter from time to time."

"That doesn't sound very comforting."

"It is almost certain that she has many other unusual appendages that even I am not aware of yet. I also expect her to grow additional ones."

"That...does not sound very comforting either," said Lincoln.

"So...anyone wants to hold Lulu?"

The family gave her a pass.

Lucy unexpectedly said, "I'd love to!"

"Here you go. Be good now, Lulu."

Lulu climbed on top of Lucy's head and sprouted a lot of small tentacles from hair, making Lucy look like she had medusa hair.

"Wicked! Lulu is turning out to already be a great servant of darkness."

Lisa also watched it in interest. "Interesting. I did not know that she could do that."

Lisa took out a clipboard and write a few notes. After she was done, she asked: "Does anybody else want to hold her?"

"Can I?" asked Lacy. Lucy handed her Lulu.

Lisa warned. "Just be careful not to pet the back of her head. She has extra eyes developing under her skin."

"Eek!" Lacy threw Lulu back at Lisa who clung onto her. After Lulu retracted her claws, Lisa asked:

"Anybody else?"

"No thanks," said Lynn senior.

Lyra was shivering but still managed to speak. "Umm…I have a question. How can she already do things you tell her? Isn't she just born?"

"That's probably because of the previous iterations of Lulu have been merged with the current one and because of a small artificial intelligence chip to make sure she learns the basics of our world more quickly during her first month out of the confines of her chamber."

"That's gonna be some horrorcore stuff. I bet she could inspire me to write another song. But...not today." said Luna in response.

"Anyway, can you all stay with Lulu a bit longer? She needs to identify all the subjects when it comes to consumption."

Liena came up as an excuse. "Umm...I have to make food.". She started tapping various items of food on Morse code with both hands.

"I...I'm afraid I might get hurt", said Loan, shaking as always.

"I need to go and buy some snacks for my daughter Loan."

"I need to gather myself," said Rita.

Liby also tried to come up with an excuse. "I need to...decouple...umm...the noodles."

Most of the family started to leave with various states of urgency. A few even exited through Lisa's closet. Only Lincoln, Albert, Lucy, Lana, Lupa, and Lizy stayed in the room with Lisa and Lulu.

Lisa stated: "I just wanted to inform the family unit that Lulu needs to identify the subjects she is not allowed to consume for nutrient gains."

"She is cool!" said Lizy who was still a baby.

Lupa agreed. "Yea! Also, she will cause lots of chaos I bet." She laughed. Lulu noticed that and started making circular motions with her left arm.

"Why is she doing that?" asked Lana.

"That means that Lulu got... 'inspired'. Probably by Lupa's canine teeth."

"What does 'inspired' mean exactly?"

"She probably wants to have those teeth at some point."

Lupa gave a thumb up. "I like her more and more already."

Albert was a bit paranoid. "What's next? Lulu's gonna go through walls as well?"

"Well, not at the moment but thank you for your feedback. I'll see what I can do."

Albert sighed. Watching Lulu who was now crawling on the ceiling made him realize that never in his youth expected to have a great-granddaughter like Lulu.

* * *

In the late afternoon, the family had gotten over initial surprise. Most of the family members were inside a living room, discussing Lulu. Lola had ordered a baby book online that was delivered via drone.

"At least this time the baby book didn't come with another baby. Anyway, what would Lulu's baby book say?"

"It's going to be a weird birth story here." agreed Lori.

"Lisa probably has written tons of mysterious notes about her. Lulu's birth is probably going to be the most documented one out there if she decides to reveal them."

Lacy agreed. "Hers is going to be the most interesting one."

"And the most devilish one as well," added Lyra in return.

Liby also voiced her opinion: "Lisa is basically creating Mary Sue".

Lisa entered the living room with Lulu.

"Greetings. Now that you have probably get accustomed to the fact that Lincoln's offspring unit has increased to ten individuals, I shall bring Lulu to your view again. Now, Lulu. Look at all the entire family unit again. These beings are not your food."

Lulu looked at each member of the family who had left Lisa's room early before one-by-one. She blinked every time she had taken a closer look at each one of them. Many were nervous, especially Loan. After Lulu was done examining the whole family, she started crawling around the room again.

"By the way, exactly how old is our daughter at the moment?"

"That's kind of ambiguous due to the methods used to create her. Somewhere between seven to four hundred and fifty-five days."

"I have a feeling that her date span of birth will look like she only lived a year."

"With ninety percent probability, her future lifespan is longer."

This made Lincoln a bit worried. "Doesn't sound encouraging"

"Does sound a bit encouraging," argued Lyra but then stopped. "I'm sorry, mom."

"So, Linc, what do you think of Lulu?"

"Well, she's...interesting to say the least. What I've seen of my daughter so far...I should look at the positive side. Guess I'll be raising a superhero!"

Lucy also voiced her opinion. "You seem to be raising a monster! Not that I mind."

"Do you have a video of Lulu?" asked Leia.

"I could release some footage of Lulu emerging from a cocoon," replied Lisa.

"But what would the others say? The Government, the scientists, the public and so on?" warned Lola.

Luan had an idea. "I can just state that this is a CGI video. Then I ask everyone to challenge to find which parts are photoshopped. That would make an interesting prank. "

Lana was anxious though.

"How do you make sure Lulu doesn't eat my pets?"

"Well...excuse me for a minute." Lisa looked around. "Where is Lulu?"

The family went off to search for her. The found her on the second floor hallway.

"Lulu, come down from the ceiling."

Lulu let herself go and Lisa caught her.

"Let me see now if she already has caught someone"

Lisa shoved her arm into Lulu's mouth by almost all its entirety. By looks of it, it seems that Lulu had a bigger stomach than it looked from the outside. Lisa started browsing through her stomach, or stomachs, or whatever she had.

"Hmm…"

She started taking things out of Lulu's mouth. A few marbles, pieces of cocoon she came out of, Lisa's experimental pets...

"Aha!". Lisa had found an iguana and taken it out. "That's Lizter I think."

"That's...mine. Thanks, I guess."

"Ok, Lulu, you can eat the rest of the consumables again." Lisa turned to the rest of the crowd."I will have a harder time teaching her not to touch Lana's pets. That would probably be the first in priority to train her."

Lana agreed.

While Lulu started eating again, the discussion about Lulu continued.

"So, that'll be my last child?"

"Eighty percent certainty. If I ever plan to make another organism like Lulu, I would create it from scratch rather than using human deoxyribonucleic acid. I would also not use human as a blueprint."

"That sounds both good and bad news."

* * *

In the evening, most of the family calmed down in the recreational center that was set to 'spa' mode. Meanwhile, Lincoln visited Lily's room.

"Hi, Link!"

"Hello!"

"I just wanted to ask, what do you think of all that?"

"What do you mean?"

"You being the only sister who hasn't had a daughter with me."

"I'm actually...glad!"

Lincoln laughed.

"What's so funny."

"I was scared you would want to have one as well. Considering how things are in our family, it was kind of likely."

After both had a chuckle, Lily continued the conversation.

"You see Linky, I really don't want someone to deliver a child to me. I want to have a daughter in a more...traditional way."

Lincoln suddenly stepped away from Lily. "Hey! Wait a minute! Back off!"

Lily started to laugh. "That's not what I meant! I didn't mean with you exactly. Haha! You should have seen your face when I said that!"

"Even Lulu hasn't scared me that much today!"

* * *

 **This chapter was a bit shorter. Oh well. Guess it's epilogue time next.**


	12. Epilogue

Chapter 12: Epilogue.

* * *

A year and a half or so had passed since Lulu was revealed to the family. Lincoln, now 32-years old, took a thorough look at his house. What a beast it had become! The growth of the number of his children may have been stopped but the house still seemed to keep growing. Fire escape style exit from Lana's room to the roof terrace, mosh pit in front of the music room in the sub-basement, you name it. And there were even more projects planned.

Never in his youth, he would have imagined he'd still be living in this house, let alone with all his sisters, parents and his grandfather. He would have expected the family to move out one child at a time until the house having been sold to another family.

If twenty-one years ago, just before he became a father of Loan, he had been told that he'd be living in mother's basement as an adult, he would have laughed. Even that would have paled in comparison to his reaction about being told that all his children were also going to be the children of his sisters. Lincoln really couldn't imagine his reaction to that.

Yet his sisters were still his sisters to him. Despite this, due to the unusual circumstances how the family got those kids, it all worked out. It was ultimately the children themselves that kept the family in one piece. He imagined that he and his sisters would still have had good lives, had they not been the victims of Dr. J's experiments. They would have probably moved away and started families of their own. But his current family situation was not bad, not bad at all. Money wasn't an issue as they were rich due to so many adults being on a paycheck. Space wasn't an issue either as everyone had their own room. Well, except maybe Rita and Lynn Senior but they really didn't mind.

Lincoln didn't expect the situation to change any time soon. His parents, now close to retirement age, were not planning to go away, his grandfather Albert was still in good health. Loan was your typical sub-basement dweller and her kind would usually stay with her parents for a long time. Liena wasn't going to leave any time soon, not because she needed her family but because her family needed her. Lyra decided to stay in the house until Lemy grows up. The rest of the kids were too young to move out. Lily, despite not having kids with Lincoln, still decided to support the family, like the family needed any more help.

Lincoln concluded he wouldn't trade his massive family not only for the world but for two worlds as well. Three worlds though, maybe that would be a more reasonable offer.

Lacy poked Lincoln.

"Dad? Why are you standing still?"

"Sorry. Got lost in thoughts."

They continued what they started: pelting the house with snowballs, leaving patterns on the wall. They were close to finishing the C letter of the word LACY.

* * *

Lyra and Luna were currently in their rooms. Luna was watching videos while Lyra was reading some religious books. They both noticed something floating a few blocks away. That something started flying directly towards their house. Luna and Lyra independently concluded this was a rather slow-moving drone.

As the cargo dropoff point was on the roof terrace, it was usually Lyra's and Luna's job to pick up the delivery. If they weren't on the watch, it was usually Lacy who got the package.

Lyra put her book down, opened the door to the roof terrace and stepped outside for a closer look. She noticed that the drone was carrying a piece of cloth. As the drone got closer, Luna, Lincoln, Lacy also noticed it with Luna running outside as well.

"Oh no! Is this what I think this is?". The footage of Lyra being dropped in front of the house about seventeen years ago came to her mind.

"I'm afraid so. Looks like storks are indeed bankrupt."

Lincoln and Lacy also ran onto the roof terrace via outside stairs and arrived just as the drone started to land.

"Not this time!" Lincoln grabbed the drone and to the surprise of Lincoln and others, the drone shut down automatically.

Lacy was confused. "Did Dr. J escape prison?"

They detached the piece of cloth to indeed found what they were expecting: a baby in a blanket with a note.

"Just as I thought!"

Lacy, Lyra, Luna, and Lincoln looked at the infant. "Wait..this baby seems to be at least a few months old. Maybe even half a year or so," concluded Lyra.

Lincoln looked at the note and started to read. "Sex: F. Mother: Lizy Loud. Father: Pop Pop." Lincoln's face was filled with disgust.

Lyra seemed to agree with Lincoln. "EWWW! They've gone too far this time! This is a sacrilege!"

Luna noticed that something was fishy. "Hey! Wait a minute. Why is Albert called Pop Pop?"

Lacy also noticed something. "Why does extraction date show the year 2023? That's several years ago! Wait...it also says: "I was just KIDding! I just did it for Giggles. Get it?""

"LUAN?!"

They heard three people laughing from upstairs.

Lincoln didn't know how to react. "That's not a joke! Well, actually it is to think of it, it's one of her better ones. But that doesn't say much."

Heads of Luan, her friend Giggles and Giggles' husband Rusty popped out from a third-floor window, still laughing.

"Well, we don't have natural born babies delivered to our house so Giggles' and Rusty's child was a good candidate! I mean, the baby was just...dropping by! In-fant, the whole ordeal was Giggle's idea!"

Oh...natural born babies. By this point, the family had almost forgotten they exist.

 **THE END.**

* * *

 **Thank you for suffering...I mean reading through this fanfiction. Never thought I'd actually be able to finish it. Hopefully you enjoyed it.**


	13. Slice of life: Stolen Valor

**I have written a few few short slice-of-life fics featuring sin kids. The following are not in chronological order but take place at the time the epilogue ended. Thought it would be shame to leave this AU to go to waste.**

* * *

In his room on the basement floor, Lincoln was drawing a commissioned comic. Like many members of his family, he too had something old-school about him. In his case, he loved drawing and even coloring comics by hand.

Suddenly, he heard crying from a hallway. He wondered what Lizy has managed to do this time. He quickly stood up and got out of his room. He saw Lizy in tears, struggling to carry a trophy almost as large as herself. Lincoln feared the worst.

"What's wrong, Lizy?"

Through her tears, Lizy explained: "I gave Loan a trophy but she didn't want it but she said before she wanted a trophy!"

He looked at the trophy. It had a baseball shape and letters 'Lynn Loud jr.' carved on it.

He didn't know whether to laugh or to feel sorry. Even though 3-year old Lizy was smarter than most children of her age, she still had a lot to learn how the world worked.

Suddenly, they heard a Lana from the first floor "Lizy, where are you?".

"She's here, downstairs!"

Lana quickly ran down to the basement and saw the scene. Lizy was still crying. "Mom! Why didn't Loan like a trophy? It was a big trophy!"

Lincoln explained: "Seems that Lizy heard somewhere that Loan was sad that she had yet to win a trophy unlike the rest of our family. So Lizy wanted to make her happy, went into a trophy room, probably took the largest trophy she could grab and lift and then carried this trophy all the way down to Loan's room."

Lana wiped tears off Lizy's eyes. "Poor Lizy. Don't cry now. You did your best." It's a wonder that the trophy was intact, considering that she had to carry it down five staircases and carry it back up again up one of the staircases already. That's what can happen if you live in a big house.

Lincoln picked up Lizy and the trophy. "Lana, I'm taking Lizy back upstairs. You see if Loan is ok". Lincoln started going up the stairs, trying to explain Lizy: "You see, trophies aren't something you just give as a present. You can't just give your trophies and trophies of other people to anyone you like. In order to get a trophy, you have to earn it for being good at something..."

* * *

As explaining Lincoln disappeared from view with Lizy and trophy, Lana started to get nervous. "LOAN!", she shouted as she ran downstairs to the sub-basement. She stopped at the first door of the corridor. Through the door covered with warning signs, she heard "I'm a failure...I'm a failure". Lana knocked at the door. "Y-yes?"

Lana entered Loan's room. She saw Loan in bed shaking in a fetal position. Loan looked her visitor "LANA? I...I'm sorry, aunt Lana! I'm s-sorry. I-I didn't mean to make her cry!"

Lana didn't know how to react. "Haha! She's too young to understand yet. Lizy just wanted to make you happy when she heard about your lack of trophies. She just didn't know that those trophies remind you how that you haven't gotten any. She's not like Leia who would do such things on purpose."

Loan sat upright on the bed. "I know. I-I can't even make her happy. I'm a failure!"

Lana tried to calm her down. "Calm down now. I'm sure you can make up for it."

"I-I'll try." Loan was shaking a bit less.

"Alright. Anyway, sorry about that, again. Gotta go now. Well, I needed to come downstairs anyway to check maintenance rooms." And off she went, leaving Lana alone in her room again.

* * *

A few hours passed. Loan, put on her slippers and got out of her room with a plan if you can call it that. She went up to the first floor and into the kitchen. "Now what kind of sandwich could I make for her?", Loan thought to herself. She eventually decided to go for something so simple that even she had trouble screwing up.

Loan then proceeded to go further upstairs to the third floor, a floor she visited maybe once in a week or two weeks. The names of inhabitants were written on the doors to their rooms on this floor, with flowers drawn on them as well. At the end of the third-floor hallway there was a door that led to the stairs which, in turn, led to of the...fourth floor, the very floor trophy room was located on with Loan's section gathering dust. Loan started to shiver again. "I don't need to go to that floor today," Loan thought to calm herself down. She slowly walked down the hallway towards the furthest door on the left. The door had letters "LIZY" with a three-leaf clover drawn on it. Loan listened. The lack of unearthly ambient music meant that Lizy was awake.

Loan gathered herself, knocked at and then opened the door. She saw Lizy, now having calmed down, playing with her toys and her pets. Lizy noticed Loan and got scared.

"Um...h-hello. Lizy, I'm sorry about what happened earlier. I made you a sandwich in return."  
Loan handed her a plain piece of sliced bread. The middle part of the slice was clearly squished due to Loan having grasped it too hard.

"Thanks!" Lizy smiled. She started gobbling the slice up.

"Uh...bye!" Loan quickly left the room and went down the stairs again towards the safety of her room. Hopefully, she didn't need to see someone else's trophy again soon.


	14. Slice of Life: No Jokers In The Pack

**Another slice of life fic.**

* * *

It was late in the evening. Lola, Lincoln, Lynn Lily, and Leni were in the games room, playing poker. Lincoln's and Luan's daughter Liby was there as well, acting as a dealer. This gave Liby an opportunity to demonstrate her sleight of hand. After all, a great dealer is able to deal any hand she wants to any player.

A few rounds of poker had already passed without major incidents except when Lynn complained about being dealt with always the same 2-10 off-suited hand.

During the fifth round of poker things seemingly went normal. The fifth card was played. Lincoln, Lynn, and Leni all could form two pairs. All of them decided to check and show their hand simultaneously. Leni showed her nine of hearts and clubs, Lynn her jack of clubs and spades. However, Lincoln beat them all with two aces of spades.

„Nice!". He took the chips.

"Congratulations, dad! Looks like your favorite card brought you luck!"

Liby took all the cards and shuffled them again. She found it amusing that nobody else saw anything being out of place.

* * *

A few rounds later. Lola received eight and nine of diamonds. Diamonds, being her favorite suit, were just irresistible to her so she decided to go for the flop.

And the flop arrived, being ten, jack and queen of diamonds. Straight flush made Lola facial expression almost reveal her hand. However, she managed to keep composure. As the fourth and fifth card was revealed, only Lily remained to play against her. After some slow betting, Lola went all in. Lily seemed to take the bait and she called.

Lola's face instantly went smug. „Ha! Now hand the chips over!" as Lola showed her hand.

„How about no!" as Lily revealed a king and ace of diamonds.

Lola's expression went from smug to anger in an instant.

„She called the raise with king ace? And I had a straight flush! And STILL she's supposed to bust me? This game is rigged, I tell you!"

„I know you had a straight flush, honey. What do you think she's going to do with her king and ace? Not call you?"

„Shut up! And why is everybody laughing?"

* * *

The game went on with Lola obviously being grumpier and more tilted. 3 rounds later and when Liby revealed a turn card, ten of clubs, Leni couldn't contain her happiness.

„Wohoo! A straight!"

Everybody else folded instantaneously. Leni showed her hand.

„See? Seven of clubs, eight of clubs, nine of spades, ten of clubs and eleven of hearts! I won!"

Lincoln shook her hand. „Congratulations! Wait? Eleven of hearts?"

Lynn turned her eyes towards Liby. "Hey! How did that get in there? Any explanation?"

„I don't know. Maybe I had an extra card in my sleeve?", as she pointed at her sleeveless shirt.

„Very funny, Libster!". Everybody else still had a laugh.

Another round started. Liby knew that now it was time for the finale as she carefully shuffled cards to make sure everything would fall into place once again. She dealt another round. Everyone's hole cards seemed to be normal.

Liby's facial expression went mischievous as she dealt the flop. The flop consisted of nought of spades, four of shields, and a saboteur of diamonds. That left Leni confused.

„Is saboteur a good or bad card?"

After some laughs, Lincoln had an idea. He turned to Liby.

„Let me take a closer look at your tie!"

"If you want. There are no cards there."

Lincoln grabbed Liby's tie. He turned her tie around to check it. And indeed there was something. However, instead of hidden cards, he found a note which he started to read „See? There are no hidden cards here. Check Lynn's hair instead."

Lily immediately started searching through Lynn's hair.

„Hey! Don't be that rough!"

„Look who's talking!" replied Lola as Lily continued her search.

Indeed, Lily found a two of clubs, ten of spades, and a note from Lynn's hair. She started to read the note out loud:

„There are no hidden cards either aside from those two. Maybe you should check inside the pockets of Lola's gown."

„My gown? There are no pockets...Hey?! How did these pockets get in there?"

Lola looked at makeshift pockets that had been attached to her gown with velcros.

"You..."

Lola took two decks of cards out from the pockets. One of them was complete deck but with a shield, star, moon and a cup suit. The second was a relatively standard deck with cards ranging from such strong cards as twenty of spades to as weak cards as minus three of clubs.

One of the decks had a card with a text instead that read:

„The mystery deepens. Who could be behind this?"

„Liby!"

„Oh well. Maybe I should have made a clue trail a bit longer."

„Alright, Liby, that does it! I'll go get Luan. I'm sure that she has something to say about this."

Lynn ran out of the room and upstairs. After a minute passed Lynn came back with Liby's mother.

„So, Linc...what has our daughter done this time?"

„I'll tell you what she did!"

Lincoln started telling Luan about the cards and hands they had received. Luan couldn't do anything but laugh. However, she felt a bit jealous as well to know that Liby's antics were more subtle than hers.

„Luan, how about you being a dealer for a change?"

So it was that Luan became a dealer while Liby became another player. Another set of cards were dealt.

Lily looked at her hole cards and suddenly she went „AAAAGH!" as she got zapped by Luan's classic electrified card prank.

„Guess that hand was quite, shocking? Get it?"

„Shut up Luan!". Lily still was a bit shaky.

„So now you remember why you wanted me as a dealer.", said Liby as she turned over her hole cards she swapped with her own while everyone's focus was on Lily, revealing that both of her cards had two backsides.


	15. Slice of Life: Freemium Tour

**Here is another slice-of-life fic, this time featuring Leia. This one is longer than I first expected but that can happen from time-to-time.  
**

* * *

The long-awaited day came where Leia could finally put her financial skills learned from her aunt Lori to the test.

She had advertised her house in Royal Woods Private School by showing a picture of her house with a text „See the most interesting house in Royal Woods! Price: Free (some things cost money)". Majority of the students obviously declined the offer, some even laughed. However, she still managed to convince four girls and a boy to accept the invitation.

Leia set the date of the tour to when the majority of her sibling-cousins had gone to a retro-cinema. Leia herself said she wasn't interested and asked not to go. As a small bonus, she received a bit of allowance in return from her mother.

So it was that five of her schoolmates showed up in front of the house. Leia had reminded them before that it would be wise to bring extra money to get the full experience although she also warned that many of the rooms were off-limits due to „being boring".

Kids looked at the house. „That house sure is...interesting!".

"Even cooler than in the picture!"

After some admiring, Leia got a bit impatient.

„So what are we waiting for? Let's go in! From that door!" Leia pointed her finger at the third floor where one of the doors had a fire escape-style staircase.

"Why?"

"The third best bedroom!"

* * *

The children climbed onto the roof terrace where Leia pulled the stairs down, allowing them to proceed upwards. They then entered the house through Lana's room. Kids were surprised to see that aside from a bed and a cupboard, there were a few hammers, wrenches and other tools. What was more surprising though, were numerous small animal enclosures with various sizes where many pets lived. Mostly reptiles and insects but there were also a few rats and other animals.

Lana was already there to greet them. „Hi, Leia!"

„Hi! Also" Leia turned to other students. „That's my aunt Lana.".

Kids screamed instead.

„Forgot to mention that the crocodile and snakes are harmless. At least as long as I'm watching over them," assured Lana. She tried to justify herself. „It would be too tight for them in cages.".

Leia added: „Anyway, just look at all the animals. Too bad I can't sell...I mean...you can't buy them."

After the kids calmed down, they started looking Lana's pets in awe while Lana made sure that snakes and crocodile didn't attack the new kids. After some minutes, Leia got a bit impatient.

„Umm...wanna see the rest of the house? Also, wipe your feet before you enter the hallway. Things are kind of reverse in this room."

* * *

So it was that the kids, after wiping their feet, went to the third-floor hallway. Leia suggested them to see the uppermost floor first. She opened the door to the stairs to the fourth floor and everybody started going upwards. Leia wasn't fond of that floor but she had to keep the promise to show the more interesting parts of the house after all.

„Uh...why is everything so black?" asked one the girls after they reached the top of the stairs. „This is the worst color to paint..."

„...looking for something?"

Everyone jumped as a very tall and dark figure appeared behind them.

„Hello, aunt Lucy! We...ummm...are...discussing this floor's...look."

„Dark and dreary, isn't it?"

Kids agreed.

„Thank you! I designed it myself. I'm especially proud of this blood-red light." She pointed her finger at a miniature red chandelier, the only light source in where they were. „Anyway, I need to practice my rituals". Lucy walked past them.

„She's into...dark stuff," explained Leia to others as Lucy disappeared into her fourth-floor room.

Leia, in turn, led the children through the door that led to the attic. Aside from a tiny window, there were no light sources. Lots of items were stored there and large cobwebs covered the ceilings.

„Don't touch the cobwebs. There are..."

By the screams she heard, it was too late.

„...large spiders in here".

„Get it off me! Get it off me!"

Other children helped one of the girls to get the spider off but not before sending bats flying. There was a general panic with even Leia being a bit scared. When the dust, spiders, and bats settled, Leia continued as nothing had happened and showed them a ladder leading upwards.

„And here's the tower entrance! Five dollars per access! See the entire neighborhood!"

„Too expensive!" said one of the girls.

„What are you? A poor?" teased another girl.

The two girls reluctantly decided to pay the price. Leia had a new idea though.

„Or a group ticket...twelve dollars!"

After some arguing who should pay two and who should pay three dollars, things went quicker when Leia reminded them that the longer they argue, the longer they have to be with the bats and spiders. After the money was handed over, Leia opened the hatch and everyone climbed up a long ladder inside a vertical shaft.

When they all reached the observation platform, the children looked around. The view was better than they thought as three floors above the rooftops of other near houses were enough to see more than the entire neighborhood.

„Here you can see our school. And here you can see a house, here's the store, and here you can see another house. And here", she pointed her finger to the now-renovated house she was first found in. „Is an important house!". „And there, far away, is a school for poorer people".

After a few minutes of sightseeing, and students pointing out where their own homes were, they climbed back down, one a bit reluctantly as she was afraid of attic inhabitants. Needless to say, everyone who climbed back down, ran back to the third-floor hallway as quick as possible.

* * *

Leia quickly caught up to them, regretting that she didn't ask 15 dollars for a group ticket as it would have shortened the time of arguing in addition to her getting a bigger profit.

„Come on! We got the rest of the house to see!"

The group went down the stairs to the second floor. While Leia knew that the games room on this floor could earn her some money, she realized that would mean that students will remain there for too long. She reminded herself to persuade her mother into agreeing that a slot machine would be a good addition to the arcade cabinets and a pool table.

Leia reluctantly said. „This is the most boring floor! We'll go down."

They all reached the middle of a hallway when the boy of the group noticed something.

„But that door?", he pointed his finger a red and black door with sixteen knobs.

„That's ..."

Leia noticed note attached to a door that said: „Leia, feel free to let your...clientele to try open this door. Don't let them in though. My room is a mess. - Liby"

The was an arrow pointing at the word „free" with a message. „Free? Get it, Leia? - Luan".

Another arrow was pointed at Luan's sentence that said „These are the things you constantly have to suffer through when you would choose to be one of Luan's clients. Spend your money wisely. - Liby"

„Anyway..." continued Leia. „Anybody wants to try the door?"

„I'll try!" said the boy who first noticed the door.

He pushed, pulled and tried to turn one of the knobs but no avail. He tried another knob and the result was the same. It was only the fourth knob that finally made the door to slide sideways.

„Woohoo!"

Leia then closed the door again. „Anybody else wants to try?"

„Me!" A girl tried the knob that led to the opened door but this time it didn't happen. It took some attempts to find out that now it was a revolving door instead. The third student succeeded only after several attempts to find that now the door split into 4 with all quadrants of the door opening to different corners. Forth child managed to find out that the door folded upwards and only after other kids gave her a lift to reach the uppermost row of knobs. When the final kid tried to open the door, she was at the seventh knob and was getting frustrated. She pulled one of the knobs too hard and it came off, sending the girl backward down the stairs.

* * *

Everyone ran downstairs to see if the girl was ok.

„I'm ok! Ouch.", she confirmed.

„What's all that noise"?

Rita had gotten out of her room to see what had happened.

„Umm...sorry, grandmother."

„Try to make less..." she noticed a doorknob in one of the girl's hands „...I thought Lana was supposed to fix that three days ago. Oh well. I'll remind her."

Meanwhile, while Rita went upstairs to reattach the doorknob and inform Lana, Leia spoke to the kids again.

„So...here's the living room. It used to be much smaller. But there is nothing interesting for us right now so we go to the basement."

„Basement?"

„You thought that was all? What kind of a pansy tour would that be?"

They all went through the living room and down yet another staircase.

„Why is that side pink and that one black?" asked one girl who noticed that aside from the orange center in the basement hallway, one end of the hallway was, as she said, pink and the other one black.

„That's"..Leia pointed out the pink and highly-decorated side with a chandelier „...my side. You can step in! Only 2 dollars!" Leia pointed out at a 2-dollar sign on the carpet. "It's worth it! Soft carpet! Very good! People's favorite!"

„And that side?". One of the kids pointed out the black side of the corridor where ceilings were covered with cobwebs and chandelier emitted darkness instead of light. On the floor, there was a sign „Warning: Knife collector.". The end of the corridor had a narrow staircase that led downwards.

„This side is evil. Anyway, pay two dollars and you get to be on a luxurious carpet. And...umm...free cheats for one major test next week!"

Three kids paid their for dollars and stepped on the carpet.

„But that's not all! Pay more and you can visit the rooms there!"

Leia pointed out signs on six doors in the pink area. Obviously, her room and her mother's room had the highest price of access. Leia suddenly regretted not giving away free lemonade earlier so she could charge them for bathroom use.

This time the kids declined. Two hundred dollars for Leia's and Lola's room were too much for them and other rooms did not seem interesting. Leia wouldn't let the price down either due to her pride.

One of the rooms, instead of having a price, had a sign with „store" written in it instead. Leia opened that door to reveal a pantry.

„Wanna buy something?"

Leia started to think about what kind of stuff would be something that the family doesn't need.

„Actually, hold on a minute. And no entering into other rooms or else you pay!"

* * *

Meanwhile, Lincoln's as busy drawing his original character hanging from a wooden skyscraper, eating tablecloth that had a face of his least-liked character while all the characters shouting „I'd rather be a bottle than a book". But that's a commission and he promised to fulfill it for a nice sum of money.

Leia stormed inside. „Dad, dad! I have a problem!"

Lincoln was surprised.

„Yes, ms. entrepreneur?"

„We're...playing store. With my...friends!"

Lincoln sighed. „With fake or..."

„Real money!"

„Here we go again." Lincoln sighed „Then...ummm...please sell only...extra broccoli and that cattlecrab egg. We should have more of these today."

Leia had an idea. She grabbed two small pieces of paper.

„Dad, can you sign two autographs for me?"

„Oh well," said Lincoln as Leia handed him pieces of paper which Lincoln signed and handed back to her.

„Thank you, dad!"

Lincoln wondered how many dollars have other kids paid Leia already as Leia went back to her schoolmates.

„Sorry about that. Anyway, for sale today: a bunch of broccoli and that giant cattlecrab egg!"

„Eww! Broccoli!"

„Broccoli with an autograph of a famous comic book artist Lincoln Loud! Only five dollars!"

The bald boy decided to buy it! At least his mother would be happy of seeing his improved eating habits, he thought.

„My pleasure!", responded Leia as the boy handed him paper Lincoln to get broccoli and scribbled Lincoln in return. He quickly shoved the haul in his backpack.

„What's a cattlecrab?" asked a girl.

„You'll see!"

Leia grabbed a bright fairly large red dodecahedral egg from the shelves. Kids looked in amazement.

„WOW!"

„That is a cattlecrab egg!"

„That egg...is large!"

„That'll be twenty-five dollars! And you'll also get an autograph as well!"

One of the girls instantly agreed to pay.

„I'll pay twenty-six," said the boy.

„Twenty-seven!" said the girl back.

„Twenty-seven and one cent!" said another girl.

„Twenty-seven and two cents!" said the previous girl.

After five minutes, the price of an egg reached thirty-two dollars and one of the girls handed the money to Leia.

„Good choice, miss! Here are your egg and autograph!". The girl happily took what was sold and placed these inside her backpack as well.

Leia continued. „The rest of the tour is totally free! I lead the way. Today we can go through the evil side."

* * *

So it was that the children went to the end of the other end of the basement to descend down to the sub-basement via a narrow set of stairs.

„Mind the ceiling?" One of the girls laughed at one of the warning signs before the stairs. „The ceiling is just as high! Plus, we're kids!"

„Oh. Sometimes things can drop down the ceiling in here. And then you usually have to go to the lab to get them off."

„Lab?"

„Yes! We're going there now!"

„This place has a lab?"

„Of course! My aunt works there!"

„What doesn't this house have?"

„Umm...timeout room."

All kids went along the narrow and winding sub-basement lit by only dim orange lamps. Leia explained.

„The door you went past was just a bedroom, Now this door over here has just some machines, there we go left. On the right, it's a room where concerts happen! Aunt Luna is doing a concert in a few days."

Leia handed them fliers listing upcoming concerts.

„And on the left," Leia showed them an observation window "...you can see the ...fun lab room...and that's where we're going. And here we are!"

They reached the end of a corridor. There was a door with a message „Advisory: For the maximum predictability of your own well-being, it is advised to knock at the door."

Leia did just that.

„Come in!"

* * *

Leia opened the door and all of them entered Lisa's room. The room was rather clean, having a single bed, cupboard and some file cabinets containing various papers of a scientific kind. Lisa's bedroom also had an observation window to see the lab while being in relative safety.

„Hi, Aunt Lisa. Here they are! Can you show them a cattlecrab first?"

„Cattlecrabs? Ah yes! One of my more successful experiments."

Some kids were impatient. „Come on! Show us!"

„Very well." Lisa disappeared into Lulu's chamber which, like many doors on this floor, had numerous warnings.

Lisa returned with a giant crab. Kids noticed that the crab had horns and udders.

„Wow!" said the kids.

„That's a large crab!"

„Can you milk it?"

„Umm...yes! That is actually one of its intended purposes." Lisa looked at the crab „However, I have to return her soon. She's...about to lay eggs."

She returned the crab to Lulu's chamber. Kids noticed that they could observe that chamber from Lisa's bedroom as well. One of the girls went near the observation window to see what else was there it but quickly jumped back.

„What are these...things?"

Other kids came to the window as well to look at what was going on. What they saw were a bunch of weird creatures.

„These? These are my most successful biological experiments!"

Kids seemed to agree after they had gotten over the initial surprise.

„That's even more amazing than Lana's room! Wait...what's that?"

Through the glass, they noticed a hammock-like thing except it was made of webs of some kind. And they noticed a baby sleeping in there.

„Why do you put a...baby there? With those...creatures?"

Lisa started to explain. „That baby? First, that is my female offspring Lulu Loud. Second, the experiments pose no danger to her. Also, I forgot to mention that it is not advisable to knock at the observation window in order to not interfere with her resting period which, fortunately, you have not done so yet."

„Your daughter? That's...cool!"

„Wasn't she on news once?"

„Correct. She is proof that combining genetic material and adding genes to a human being can produce more capable offspring than an average human."

After children watched Lulu's chamber a bit more, Lisa spoke again.

„Anyway, I am sure you would also like to see the laboratory."

She then walked towards the lab door. That door also had lots of danger signs. Particularly noteworthy was a sign that read:

 _„Code red: No active experiments in progress. Safety per hour is at least 98% when following standard operating procedures._

 _Code yellow: Potentially dangerous experiments in progress. Refrain from making physical contact with any unknown devices that exhibit movement or emit sound waves._

 _Code green: Hazardous experiments in progress. Do not enter without Lisa's explicit permission, you wanting to be a part of the experiment (though this is welcome) or both._

 _Code blue: Special occasions. Lisa will inform the inhabitants of the house about the experiment and measures taken."_

Currently, the yellow light was on.

Leia assured them: „My aunt does cool stuff there!"

„Are you sure?"

„Yea! That's where she made cattlecrabs and stuff."

„I assure you that the lab equipment and experiments provide reasonable amusement," added Lisa.

* * *

Lisa slid the doors open and all the kids entered the lab while Leia stayed in Lisa's room. There were lots of machines with lots of buttons. Some machines and control panels hummed while others were not active. Some non-relevant lab equipment and machines were shoved into corners.

„I like this place already!"

„I'm afraid to touch anything."

„What does that button do?" asked one of the children, pointing at one of the bigger buttons.

„This...well..."

Lots of extremely scientific words started to come out from Lisa's mouth.

„But this one?", as she pointed at another big button.

Again, they heard scientific terms they didn't understand.

„Is there...umm...anything that does something I understand?"

„As a matter of fact, I have. In fact, I have already prepared five seatings for you all."

Indeed, at the center of the lab, there were five chairs ready to be occupied.

„Attention everybody, may you all take a seat? I am demonstrating an experiment you might find amusing."

Kids eventually sat down on chairs. Leia watched the action through the window. Her work was done and all she had to do is watch the experiment unfold. Lisa adjusted a few knobs here and there.

„Now comes the interesting part."

„What are you doing?"

„Is it safe?"

„Just conducting a few of my scientific experiments. These are almost totally safe."

She pulled one of the levers on one of the machines. The ground below the children started to glow and the chairs were lifted slightly below the ground.

„I am scared," said one of the girls.

„This is just a simple levitation device. No need to be scared. Anyway, let me perform an actual experiment."

Lisa pulled down a robotic arm from the ceiling which she aimed at the center of the room. A bright light enveloped all the children's heads. Slightly more than half of the children screamed. As quick as it began, it stopped.

The kids noticed that their hair was switched.

„Hey! You got my hair"

„And you got my hair"

„Haha! Mike is a girl!", said one of the girls, pointing out the boy's now long-blonde hair.

„No, I'm not, baldie!"

The now-bald girl screamed.

„Give me my hair back!" she shouted at Lisa while children were laughing. Meanwhile, Leia watched the experiment in the relative safety of Lisa's room. It was nice to see someone outside the family to be a test subject for once.

„That went better than expected. I shall reverse the process then! Get back into onto seats and your head hair will be reverted back."

After some scrambling, the children sat down again, waiting for their hair to return. Lisa adjusted a few knobs again, activated her device again and things were back to normal.

„Interesting. Very interesting! Protein-filament-specific relocation device is working just as I intended."

„Can you do more of these experiments?"

Lisa was happy to hear that. „You don't have to ask! But first, let me examine your hair in my cabinet to confirm to see if there are any undesirable side effects."

„I'm still scared," said another kid who wasn't sure.

* * *

Children returned to Lisa's room.

Lisa took a look at Lulu's chamber and noticed that her daughter had woken up. Lulu was watching the new people through the window between her chamber and Lisa's room.

„Hold on a few moments. I should check on my offspring. In addition, Lulu seems to be excited to see new specimens of homo sapiens."

Lisa opened the door to Lulu's chamber to let her out.

„Hope you had a nice resting time. Say hello to the test subjects. Be nice to them. Hey! Don't leap onto the ceiling!"

It was already too late. Lulu then dropped down the ceiling onto one of the girl's head who screamed. Others followed when Lulu opened her mouth wide open, proudly showing off of her two rows of retractable teeth and a spiked tongue she currently possessed.

Lisa tried to calm the children down. „Everything is under control! Lulu is even taught to not consume anything that tastes like a human being. Even if she would consume part of you, she would eject it back out again."

Every Leia's schoolmates whose head was not occupied by something that resembled a mutated baby ran out of Lisa's room as quickly as they could.

„Get her off of me! Get her off of me!"

Lisa grabbed Lulu from the remaining student's head. The student then ran away at full speed as well.

„Bad Lulu! Bab Lulu! That's how not to treat your guests! Now I need new test subjects...oh. Hold on a few femtoseconds. I first said test subjects." Lisa facepalmed „I forgot to specify that they were not your test subjects. My error."

„And that concludes the tour.", remarked Leia.

* * *

After Lisa managed to calm Lulu down, she realized that when she reverted students' hair back, she forgot to turn one of the knobs.

„If I am not mistaken, the hair of the test subjects is now upside down with follicles outside. I am sure these will eventually fall out instead of growing in."

Leia wondered if that could bite her in the back. Then she remembered the main thing.

„Money time...I mean...you offered me something in return."

„Oh, that? Let's see. Code yellow. That's thirty dollars per each test subject. That makes one hundred and fifty dollars!"

Lisa handed her the cash.

„Thank you, Aunt Lisa!"

Both Lisa and Leia hoped that the word about their house would quickly spread among the students of Royal Woods Private School, both for their own reasons.


	16. Slice of Life: One generation knows

As her mother was away doing an odd job at the local zoo, Lizy had snuck inside an attic room on the third floor. She was browsing through one of the boxes to find something interesting.  
She noticed a weird device that had buttons on it. Lizy picked it up and started playing with it. After some button presses, it started to vibrate and bleep. She quickly ran out of the outside where she saw Lupa enjoying watching neighbors struggle to get their car running.  
„Lupa! What's that?„  
„Oh. You.„ Lupa looked at the strange thing. It was new to her as well. Still, she decided to have fun.  
„I'm...too young to know. It's...probably a toy...for adults.„  
„For adults?„  
„Ask our greatgramps? See if he knows.„

* * *

Meanwhile, in the garage house, Albert and Lemy were watching old videos. They were having a laugh at one particular one where a guy mumbled over a rock song and imitated flapping wings.  
"So that's what you guys listened back then?"  
"I forgot those nimwits were around back in those days. Still better than those love songs.". Lemy agreed.  
„Let's watch 1970s rock videos next!"

They were interrupted by Lizy who stormed in with Lupa following her. Lizy her the device. „Greatpop, greatpop! What's that?„  
Albert jumped.  
„Hey! Oh, it's you!„  
„What's that?„ asked Lizy again.  
Albert looked at the mysterious thing and sighed.  
„Don't know. I'm too old for these modern gadgets.„  
„But Lupa said she was too young to know!„  
„Umm...your grandpa probably knows.„  
„Okay. Bye!"  
Lizy and Lupa ran out again with Lupa clearly having a laugh.  
„So, greatpop...70s music videos." reminded Lemy to his great-grandfather.  
Albert continued watching 1970s rock music videos with Lemy, but not before telling a story about how about 60 years ago, there was a genre called disco that almost ruined the radio in his opinion.

* * *

Lizy and Lupa ran to the main house again. Lynn senior was playing cards with his wife when those two kids ran in.  
„Grandlynn, Grandlynn! I found an adult toy!"  
Both grandparents jumped.  
"WHAT?".  
"What's that?" Lizy shoved the thing in front of Lynn senior's face.  
Both grandparents looked at the device and started laughing out loud with Lupa.  
„Oh...that's my old pager! Where did you find this?"

* * *

 **It's kind of easy to write stories involving Lizy.**


	17. Slice of Life: Not in for nicotine

Lupa had decided to get out of her room day and just hang out in the streets alone. She came across a guy a few years older than her who was busy smoking a cigarette. Lupa was not impressed.

„What is this pathetic display?"

„You gotta problem with that, kiddo?", the guy responded.

„What if I do?"

„Too bad!". The guy blew the smoke on Lupa.

„I mean, come on! This...tiny smoking stick?"

Lupa took out a lighter and small smoker box from her hoodie. The box had a few valves, a hose, and a gauge.

Lupa lit the box on fire. A few moments later, she turned one of the valves and a cloud of thick black smoke started coming out of it. The guy watched in confusion.

„Watch and learn how it's done!"

The white-haired girl inhaled the smoke as deep as she could. She clearly took a joy of this activity. She exhaled the smoke on the boy who started coughing a bit.

„Jeez? What is that?"

„Some good old mazut."

Mazut was not familiar to the stranger. Suddenly, without asking, he grabbed the smoke box from Lupa before she could react.

„Hey! Did I say you can steal the fun?"

„No, but I did!"

„You did not!"

The guy ignored him, brought the mouthpiece to his mouth, opened a valve, and took a deep breath. He regretted his decision immediately. In shock, he dropped Lupa's smoker.

*cough* „What..." *cough* „...the..." *cough* „...is this?".

By the way, the guy staggered, Lupa could clearly see he was very dizzy.

„Just some good old CO, and with lots of other stuff I don't know what they are."

Lupa picked up the smoker and looked its gauge of the box that read...

„14000 ppm. Maybe I turned it up too high?"

Lupa left him behind. She decided she should smoke something more potent like oil shale after she arrives back home.


	18. Slice of Life: Mostly off-road trip

Lemy was in the music room, practicing his washboard as this time he felt he had nothing else to do. He wasn't good at other instruments. While he enjoyed playing the other instruments, it would often only act as people repellent. Or something to calm Lulu down.

Meanwhile, the washboard was where he was at. 7/8 rhythm was nothing for him. Sure, it might have sounded a bit grating without additional instruments but that's what the music room was there for.

He let his imagination go wild. He imagined himself being in that room with a sizable audience listening to his performance.

„You're the best, Lemy!"

„Boo, what kind of loser are you!"

„Keep shreddin' that washboard!"

„I came here to listen to this? Well, it's pretty ok, I guess."

* * *

He didn't think that high of himself after all. He was about to finish one his repertoires when the door slammed open, interrupting his playing and fantasies.

„Here you are!"

„Aah! Oh, it's you, Lacy! You scared me!"

„Sorry, Lemy! I was just thinking if you'd like to go..."

„...outside with you?"

„How'd you knew?" wondered Lacy while Lemy put his washboard away.

„Just guessed!"

Lemy was used to Lacy sometimes taking her relatives to trips outside. If she didn't hang out with Liby and Lupa or by herself, she usually took Lemy or Lizy with her. As currently, Lemy had the music room to himself for an hour already, he didn't mind going outside.

„Okay! But...what's in it for us today? Obstacle course? Adventure? A sport you made up?"

„I...don't know yet. Buuuut I think I'll make something up, right?"

„As always!"

„Come on! Let's go!"

Lemy sighed, got up, stretched his legs in advance, and instinctively extended his hand towards Lacy. „Oh well, here we go!"

Lacy grabbed Lemy's hand and started running. Lemy was barely able to keep up as they left the room. Soon they left the entire house behind. As they ran, Lemy quicky to run out of steam and started panting.

„Uhh...Wait...up...Lacy! I'm...not...as fast...as...you!"

Lacy stopped.

„Sorry!" she said, after getting struck with a harsh reality that not everyone could keep up with her unless she wanted to drag them along the ground. She had an idea though.

„Ummm...need a lift, Lemy?"

Lemy was still recovering from all that running.

„Umm...Okay...sis!"

* * *

Lacy gave him a piggyback ride. Lemy had always wondered how she could carry someone of his weight caliber quite a distance. Lacy ran until both of the siblings entered a local forest. They continued along a path for a few minutes until Lacy came to a full stop. Lemy got off his voluntary human taxi.

„Thanks, Lacy! How much do I owe you?"

„I thought I owed you a piggyback ride! You know, for going out with me!"

„Let's see...hmmm...gotta agree with you there!"

As Lacy gave Lemy a bit of recess again, she started thinking again about what to do. Lemy was interested as well what they were going to do this time. Since they weren't going on a meadow, they couldn't be going to roll around in grass. Lacy also didn't bring any sports equipment with her this time so they weren't going to do some ordinary sports. Finally, Lacy came up with something.

„I have an idea! Got the idea when I carried you. You know that there is a sport called wife-carrying?„

Lemy admitted he hadn't heard of it.

„Basically, it's when a man takes his wife and carries her around in an obstacle course!"

„Hey! You're not my wife! And how am I supposed to carry you?"

Lacy continued. „So I invented a new sport..."

„Here we go again!"

„Brothercousin-carrying!"

Lemy wasn't really that surprised. Guess now it was time to put his endurance and resilience to the test. Meanwhile, Lacy was thinking about all the options on about which route to take. She had no maps or anything. Fortunately, she had a knack for finding her own route.

„So we go...this way!" Lacy pointed at the trees away from the path they were on. „Now which carrying style should I use? How about this?"

Lacy picked Lemy up.

"Hey!"

„Basically, you are upside down and hold around my waist with your arms. Meanwhile, I hold your legs with my arms."

Lacy placed Lemy's legs around her neck and his hands around her waistline. Lemy wasn't enjoying that upside-down pose.

„Hey! What are you doing? Put me down!"

Lacy let Lemy go who then hit his head against the ground.

„Ow!"

Luckily, the only thing his already hardened skull hit was dirt and moss.

„Or we can try another style?"

Lacy picked him up again and this time she did a fireman's carry position.

„It's better. A bit!"

"So you're ready?"

"I don't have a good feeling about this."

„Come on, it's not that bad! Okay: Four, three two, one, let's go!"

* * *

Lacy started running with Lemy as her weight. The beginning was fairly easy as there was space between trees to move around so Lemy got hit by only a few small branches. They ran for a while.

„Could...you...be...a...bit..slower? Those branches OUCH! I can't move out their OUCH way quick enough!"

Lacy slowed down a bit. It was a good thing for Lemy as now they entered the wilder and denser part of a forest. Spiky spruce trees sometimes got into Lemy's and Lacy's face.

„Ow Ow ow!"

„Sorry! Shall we switch positions?"

"There's no way I can carry you!"

„I meant I was going to carry you some other way!"

„As long as it's not upside down again."

Lacy then switched to bridal carry style. Lemy found that to be the most comfortable position.

„This is...awkward.", remarked Lemy.

The duo moved on. The ground was uneven and sometimes vegetation was so thick it was hard to see the ground. Lemy was glad he was being carried as at some points he heard that the ground was rather wet. When they reached drier areas again, Lacy returned Lemy back on his feet.

„Ok. We're done! And that's... about... thirty-five minutes! We make a great team!"

„Thanks...I guess. Well, you did the lifting!"

„Fun, wasn't it?"

„To you. Well, scratch that. It WAS fun!"

„See? It's great to have you around as well!"

Lacy gave Lemy a hug.

„Umm...Lacy?"

„Yes, Lemy?"

Lemy looked around and was starting to get worried.

„Where are we anyway?"

„Oh, that? We're at my forest route 63! Ground version! I've used that route a few times."

Lemy has been on some of Lacy's routes before. However, this route was one of the more obscure ones.

„Ground version?"

„Well, I had to carry you. I would have otherwise used tree version! You see?" Lacy pointed at various trees. „Starts there at the distance, then goes there, there, then there to here and then to there and there and then it continues from there!"

Lemy considered his options. As he wasn't a cowardly person, he came to a conclusion.

„Why didn't you tell me about that before? Of course, I wanna try that route!"

„That's my Lemy!". Lacy gave Lemy a head pat. „Okay! Follow me!"

* * *

Lacy started climbing the nearest tree with Lemy close behind her. As trees were very close by and their branches were entangled, the duo had little problems from climbing from one tree to another although the progress was rather slow. Lemy had to be careful to make sure that he wouldn't lose balance.

Finally, the familiar path came into view between the branches. After some more tree-hopping, they ended up on one of the trees next to the path. Lemy noticed that this was that familiar tree where Lacy was first found about a dozen years ago. The remains of a broken branch were still seen on a tree.

„Your favorite place, I see!"

They started to climb back down.

„I hope I don't fall!" said Lemy as there was a large gap between the branch where he was going to climb.

„My mom knows the falling well!" replied Lacy who was below her.

For some reason, they made it down the tree safe and sound. Overall, the tree route left them with only a few scratches and Lemy had to catch his breath again.

„So, what do we do now?" asked Lemy when he had recovered.

„I don't know. Let's play...I don't know...umm...tennis?"

„Tennis? With what?"

Lacy looked at the ground. There were no rocks to be used in place of tennis balls but there were...

„With...that...pine cone over there!" she picked one of the pine cones up.

„And...umm..." Lacy looked at her palm. „With arms! See how long we can keep it flying!" said Lacy as she picked one of those up from the ground.

Yup. That's Lacy. Being much less competitive than her mother, she liked to make her own challenges instead.

„Lemy, catch!"

She threw the cone in the air and served it with her palm. Lemy reacted quickly and sent it back at Lacy. Lacy was even quicker to react and the pine cone flew back at Lemy who barely managed to hit it.

The match went on. Soon, Lacy started to get more daring, sending the cone back at Lemy using various poses: not looking at it, using just a single finger, hitting it while jumping, you name it. Lemy, once again, was barely able to keep up. There were even some close calls with both of them having to fall to the ground to catch the cone.

* * *

After more than several hundred hits, it was clear that the match was going to take a while. Then suddenly, Lemy caught the cone with his hands.

„Hey! Throw it..."

„Umm...Lacy?" Lemy pointed at the sky seen through the trees. There were large and rather dark clouds approaching. „I think it's going to rain."

Lacy looked at the sky as well. „You're right!"

„Should we head home?" proposed Lemy.

„Okay!"

„You want to get home that quick? That's something new!"

„It's going to rain and we don't have an umbrella!"

They both started running towards home. Lemy wondered why Lacy didn't just make an umbrella as quickly as she makes up new sports. After some running, Lacy suddenly stopped.

„Why'd you stop?"

„I know a good route! Route 10!"

„Oh no!"

„Come on, Lemy! Route 10 is an easy route! And it gets us home much quicker! It's this way!" Lacy pointed her index finger off the path.

* * *

As they strayed off of the path again, Lemy sighed in relief, knowing Lacy was right about the route. This part of a forest was easy to navigate with rather sparse trees and dry ground. Well, easy to navigate until they came across a creek too wide to jump over. There weren't any logs or rocks or anything else either to use to get across safely.

Lemy obviously wasn't pleased. „Hey, you didn't tell me about the river! Where's the bridge?"

„It's easy! We just walk across! It's not that deep!"

„You realize we get our feet wet!"

„But the rain is coming and we'd get wet anyway!"

„Then what's the point?"

„Because we get home sooner!"

„Oh...good point, Lacy!"

Lemy and Lacy waded through the water that was waist-deep to Lemy who obviously wasn't happy about getting to know this the hard way. When they reached to the other side, Lacy realized something.

„Oh wait. I could have carried you."

„Hindsight is 20/20."

* * *

They continued and eventually left the forest behind. The route indeed provided a nice shortcut. They ran as fast as they could along the streets of Royal Woods. They made it in front of 1216 Franklin Avenue just before the storm clouds arrived. They saw Lana setting herself up on a roof terrace for rainbathing.

„Umm...Hi, aunt Lana!"

Lana, who waved at them, noticed that Lacy and Lemy were covered in dirt, moss, and leaves.

„Hi! Wow! Looks like someone had a time of their life!"

„Well...yea! Not...intended...though," said Lemy, catching his breath.

„Had fun rolling around in grass again?"

„Not today! But next time, maybe!" replied Lacy.

Then the front door opened and Lacy's mother came out.

„Hi. Jeez! What happened to you, two!"

Lacy explained „Hi, mom. You see...Lemy...well...he volunteered to be my teammate." She started to tell Lynn where they went and what they did. „Eight hundred and fifty-seven hits in a coneball! We make a great team!"

„That's a great job, kids! But..." Lynn turned towards Lacy „...you know what dragging your siblings out with you means, ms. Sunshine? Extra allowance for you!"

Lacy cheered.

„After you get your clothes changed, of course!"

„Okay, mom!"

„What about me?" asked Lemy as the first raindrops started to fall.

„You. Well...I'm sure your parents are happy as well. I'll make sure you'll get your allowance as well."

„Thanks, aunt! Ok, we'd better get in!"

* * *

Both of them wiped their feet and got into Lacy's room via the entrance room. It was kind of fitting for Lacy's room to be the closest to the front door, considering she usually spent as much of the daylight outside the house as possible.

„So, feeling runner's high, huh?" asked Lacy?

Lemy realized that he had been feeling ecstatic despite being very tired from the trip he had with Lacy. Maybe it was worth it after all. Most adventures outside with Lacy, while exhausting, were worth it in hindsight indeed.

„Well...yea! It's great hanging out with you. But I'm...very...tired."

„So, when's the next time you're free? Umm, Lemy! Are you alright?"

Lemy collapsed from exhaustion. Luckily for him, the floor was covered with mats.

After checking Lemy's pulse, Lacy sighed in relief. She decided to leave Lemy there as she was sure he would wake up later. Lacy looked outside the window to see the now-pouring rain. She got changed, meaning that she just put on a pair of Wellington boots and a yellow raincoat. She didn't want to miss out raintime adventure on her own after all.


	19. Slice Of Life: Family Recipe

It was late afternoon. Liena was on the second floor of the garage house as she took care of the greenhouse plants. Currently, turnips received her main attention.  
There were her natural homegrown large turnips and her unnatural homegrown genetically engineered giant turnips. As they were ready, Liena wanted to be sure that this time there were no unexpected taste surprises.

Obviously, her first test subject was her great-grandfather. She climbed back to the first floor where Albert was watching bingo.

„Umm...!"

„What's this?" he asked as Liena presented her with a thin slice of a turnip.

„Turnip. Try it!"

Albert was glad that his teeth replacements worked well. Liena anxiously waited for an answer as Albert took the bite out of it and started chewing.

„Tastes like good old licorice! Haven't felt that taste for a long time!".

„Weird." That was unexpected for Liena. At least she understood she had grown something unique.  
She cut another piece of slice and tried it herself, confirming the taste.

„Mhm!" Liena gave herself thumbs up. She had an idea of what to make. She thanked her great-grandfather for being a taste tester and went down the stairs.

* * *

Next, after stopping by the garage house basement to grab a bucket, she headed to the sub-basement. When she arrived in front Lisa's room door, she knocked.

„Come in!"

Lisa noticed a bucket in Liena's hand as she entered her cabinet. „Oh! So you're here for milk extraction reasons."

Liena nodded and asked. „How's Sidewalk?"

„She is in perfectly healthy condition."

They went to Lulu's chamber. Lulu was busy playing with Lisa's other experiments who kept her company.

„Hi, Lulu!"

Lulu leaped on Liena's shoulder. Liena petted Lulu's hair after making sure that this time she didn't have extra eyes hidden underneath there. After placing Lulu back on a wall, Liena approached Sidewalk, her personal pet.

„She has enough milk?" asked Liena.

„My offspring only drank a small amount. The rest of the nutrients she obtained from protein cubes and saccharose cubes I gave her as a reward for participating in some of the experiments."

Liena sighed and turned her attention towards her pet crab.

„Come here, Sidewalk!"

Cattlecrab approached Liena. After getting a hold of Sidewalk, Liena started milking her. Fortunately, milking cattlecrab was easy for her, not even getting pinched once.

After the bucket was half-full of bluish milk, she decided had enough milk.

„Good girl!". Liena gave Sidewalk a few pieces of shrimp in return which she happily ate.

Liena said goodbye to Lisa and Lulu before heading upstairs to the basement check her inventory in the pantry. Various types of cheeses her grandfather got from his restaurant in return for her homegrown products would be put into use that day.

* * *

She then went to her kitchen where she found Lemy and Liby eating sandwiches. Lemy had a normal sandwich with strawberry jam. Meanwhile, Liby was finishing her triple-decker sandwich with pineapple cores, sweetened ground bones, and jawbreaker slices: basically anything that majority of the family wouldn't want to bite through.

„Hi..." *munch* „...Liena!"

Lemy wiped his mouth.

„What'cha making today?"

„Casserole and blueberry...licorice...thing pie.". Liena was being terse as always. Old habits die hard.

„You've..." *gulp* „...been spoiling us this week!" said Liby who finished her sandwich.

Liena put her milk bucket down, took a turnip out of her pocket, placed it on the cutting table, cut out two slices and handed off them to Lemy and Liby. She wanted to be sure about what others think of the taste as well.

„Ughh. What's that? Turnip? Again?"

„New taste!" explained Liena.

Lemy was ready for the worst as both he and Liby simultaneously took a bite out of it.

„Mmmm." Lemy's scrunchy face was replaced with a pleased expression.

Meanwhile, Liby spat it out. „Bleeh! What is this?"

„Tastes like...licorice?" said Lemy.

„Licorice? Down the hatch, it goes!"

Liby quickly ate the remainder of her turnip slice and licked her fingers clean even though she didn't need to do so. Much to Liena's relief.

"I both hate and love licorice! Thanks anyway! Bye!"

Liena watched her two sibling-cousins leave the kitchen. After that, she opened the fridge and took out lab-meat. In her family, it usually didn't mean your ordinary cultured meat. Instead, it was usually of the results of some of Lisa's not-so-successful experiments that she had no further use of.

* * *

She started making a casserole from the ingredients she had. Lab meat, ordinary eggs, cattlecrab eggs, potatoes, various types of cheese and so on. While she was in her element, she hummed a tune in frequencies not heard by the rest of the family. Considering the lack of rats and insects running away, it was clear that Lana did a good job keeping them in her room.

As she filled two of her three ovens with a casserole, she heard footsteps coming towards her. Lacy arrived at the kitchen with a bucket.

„I'm back! Here ya go, miss!" Lacy handed her a bucket full of blueberries she picked from the forest.

„Whoa!" Liena „You went overb...I...! Amazing!" Liena hugged Lacy.

„I'm here too!" Said Lana who had gone to forest with Lacy as well. She handed Liena another bucket, this one half-filled with bog blueberries they picked from a local bog when she and Lacy temporarily split up.

„More? These are..."

Liena suddenly gave stern look at Lana as she took a mop and handed it to Lana.

Lana looked behind her. She noticed a trail of mud she had left. „Umm...sorry 'bout that!"

„But thank you," responded Liena.

„I'm going back outside again! Bye!" Said Lacy as she indeed went back outside again.

„She'll be back soon," commented Lana. „I'll go see Lizy now!"

„*Ahem*"

„Forgot!" Lana backed away with a mop, swiping her mud trail away.

Liena started making a pie. After getting more turnips from the greenhouse, she ground them up and, among other things, flour, cattecrab milk, and as much blueberries and bog blueberries she could use without becoming overboard.

* * *

The evening arrived soon after and Liena was adding finishing touches to her food. She placed some of the food in dumbwaiter connected to her room above and carried the rest of the food to the dining room.

Lyra, Lily, and Leia were already there, preparing the table. Liena told them to call the rest of the family which they then did. It didn't take long until the whole family was in the dining room. After seeing tables with plates filled with a casserole and an about as large amount of bluish pie, the family knew that Liena meant business.

Luan was the first to take a bite out of pie.

„Ewww! What garbage is this?"

„But I...I..." tears started to fill in Liena's eyes.

„Just kidding! That's amazing, whatever you put in there!"

„Don't scare her like that!" scolded Leni as took a handkerchief to wipe Liena's eyes. „There, there..."

„I'm not upset!" responded Liena as she rejected the handkerchief.

Meanwhile, Lemy took a bite out of casserole.

„Mmmmmmmmmmm" He also nodded in approval.

Lulu removed her pacifier and extended three of her tongues towards the food. Lisa was satisfied that her daughter liked the taste of cooked meat as much as raw meat she normally received. Not only that but she also had clearly learned good table manners, knowing etiquette of not extending more than four appendages towards the plate.

Lynn junior went through her pieces rather quickly and gave a loud burp in approval. Considering that it wasn't the loudest burp, Liena concluded she could do better next time.

„Manners, Lynn!"

„Sorry, mom." She patted her stomach instead.

Liby also commented on the casserole. „If you were planning to make terrible food, you've utterly failed!"

While the family was eating, Liena listed all the ingredients she used to her grandfather.

„So that crunchy texture AND the licorice was a turnip? Gotta remember that."

* * *

It didn't take long until the family's stomachs were full. From the amount of food left over, Liena concluded she had made twice the amount than needed.

Lupa was a bit disappointed. „So...that means no fighting or arguing over the last piece?"

„I can arrange that. Hey, kids!" Lynn jr. pointed at one of the larger pieces of casserole. „Let's pretend that's the last piece and you aren't full yet!"

Lincoln quietly shook his head as Lupa took a switchblade knife out from her hoodie.

„It's cutting time!"

„Then...ummm...can I get that tiny piece. There, in that corner?" asked Loan.

Lupa responded by cutting the most minuscule piece she could, handing it to Loan.

„Umm...thanks."

„I'll take the quarter!", said Lemy. After getting a few angry looks, he elaborated: „Bottom quarter". Lupa, wish a skillful swipe, managed to cut off the bottom quarter like it was nobody's business.

„Hey! Let Leia choose now!" interrupted Lola as she placed a piece of Mozzarella cheese on top of the piece.

„I'll take...Mozzarella!"

„That's cheating!" complained Liby as Lola handed Leia a piece of mozzarella. „Anyway, can I have a piece shaped like that?„ Liby showed the exact shape she wanted with her index finger.

Lupa cut out a pentagon-like piece in the middle.

„Aw, shucks. I wanted an irregular pentagon".

„It's not your gramps' restaurant. Take it or leave it!"

Lupa's knife worked swiftly as she split the rest of the piece to other kids: Potatoes to Lyra, cheesiest part to Lacy, the meatiest part to herself. Liena said she had plenty and that she was on a diet. The remaining piece was handed to Lizy, who decided to split in half with Lulu. The rest of the family found this procedure entertaining and a good alternative to watching their children fight.

* * *

„I'll be off now!" said Lacy as she headed to the recreational center of the basement to convert the mass from the food she ate to motion energy.

„Me too. I need to...cool off." Liby was sweating as food in her stomach was starting to be converted into excess heat. She retreated upstairs to the room, taking a piece of pie with her.

Lyra watched them go off. „No wonder why those two are so thin."

„Says you.", commented Lemy.

* * *

After the family had carried the rest of the food to their own rooms or stored in their personal fridge compartments, Liena felt happy, knowing that another meal had been well done.

Luna was still in the kitchen. „Hey, Li! This meal was rockin'! But can I cook on Friday? I have a great idea!"

„Oh no..."

„Don't worry, niece! I'll make it interesting!"

Luna then started thinking about the blandest meal she could cook with the least valuable components. She then left a note on a living room's bulletin board.

„Family food fight scheduled this Friday evening. Extra allowance for those taking part of the cleanup."

Rita read the note. „Our family never changes.", she concluded. On the other hand, that meant she could participate in another food fight, something she wouldn't do when their children were just kids.

* * *

 **Not really proud of this chapter.**


	20. Slice Of Life: Floating point

"So what's happening here?" asked a middle-aged man from another when they watched a scene happening in front of the familiar address of Franklin avenue.

"That? It's the Loud clan and their usual shenanigans. They're always fun to watch!"

* * *

Meanwhile, Lemy stormed into grandparents' room.  
"Hey, gramps!"

"Hi, Lemy! Why so worried face?"

"Well, there's a...bit of a...problem..."

Lynn senior got worried as well. Lemy started to explain.

"Well...me and aunt Lana were tinkering around with Vanzilla's modules and..."

"...oh no!"

"Well, I accidentally attached one of Lisa's devices backward..."

The grandfather feared the worst. "And everything exploded?"

"No! Well, do you have some spare rope somewhere?"

"Rope?"

"Well, I'll explain soon."

Lynn senior was curious now. "Okay. Let's see what our family has accomplished this time."

* * *

When they got out, they saw one of Vanzilla's modules floating high above the ground with Lana inside. A few family members were watching as well, both from the house and from the front yard.

Lynn senior facepalmed. "Well, the third time this year."

A rope was hanging from the module but it only reached halfway towards the ground. "I RUN OUT OF ROPE!" shouted Lana from the module. To make matters worse, the module was not floating above the tower of the house. „And I can't move that module at all!"

"Even Lulu cannot reach her by doing her...thing!" stated Lacy.

"Wait...you said rope? Lacy, I think we have some more in Lana's room."

Lacy remembered the incident where Lana had to round up some misbehaving buffalo with rope when they were at the zoo.

"I'll go get it straight away!"

Lacy ran to Lana's room. It didn't take long until Lacy came back with a rope which she handed to Lemy.  
"Thanks, Lace!" Lemy tried to spin the rope but he was not good at throwing it. With the fourth attempt, he got the rope fully extended only to find out that it also reached halfway towards the module.

"I have an idea!" shouted Lana from above. "What if I hang down from my rope, Lemy throws his rope and I catch it? Then I attach two ropes and you all pull the thing to the ground?"

Lynn senior was worried. "Are you sure this is safe?"

"It's worth a try!"

"I have another idea!" interrupted Liby. "What if Lemy throws the rope and when it reaches the second rope, Lacy climbs up the rope and ties those two ropes together?"

"That would...hey wait a minute! Not the time for jokes!"

"I do have an idea" interrupted Lisa. „Lulu, do the activity no 304."

Lulu started excreting a web-like substance from her mouth which Lisa started to pull.

"Anyone good at knotting?"

Lynn senior tied the web and piece of rope together.

"Here you go, grandson!" He handed the combined rope back to Lemy.

"Eww. A bit sticky. Anyway, Lana! Catch!" Lemy accidentally threw the entire rope to Lana who caught it.

"You've got a good throw! Wait a minute. What am I going to do with the entire rope...dumb me. I'm not in a pit." Lana attached the rope to the module and hanged it down.  
"Yay!" Lacy grabbed the rope. Lisa, Liby, Lemy, and Lynn senior joined her. They started pulling the module down.

"The...floatation...device...is...stronger...than I thought." complained Lynn senior.

More family members got out of the house and also grabbed the rope. Slowly but surely, the module started to descend.

Lemy grabbed pliers and when the module finally was within his reach, he cut one of the wires. The module fell on top of Lemy. Family screamed.

"I'm...ok!" was heard underneath the module. Family sighed in relief. „Just a hit on the head."

When Lemy crawled out, the family and neighborhood observing the action applauded.

"It seems that the side effects of my device had interesting side effects." Lisa write a few notes on her clipboard.

"That was a mighty fine show you put up there!" shouted Lupa from the tower. She had brought some popcorn up there just to watch the chaos unfold.

* * *

Two hours later, Lemy knocked on his grandparents' room again.

"Gramps! This time I attached the device right way around this time! Wanna see?"

Lynn senior agreed. After all, he was always excited when he heard when new features for Vanzilla were added.

Lemy and Lupa got out of the house to find a deep hole in the ground.

"See? No broken cables and lower floor rooms!", shouted Lana from the module at the bottom of the hole.


	21. Slice Of Life: Underground music

Simple chords echoed in the music room as Loan pressed the keys on the synthesizer, her favorite instrument. However, despite visiting that room from time to time ever since it was built, she still couldn't play anything more than the simplest of melodies, one note at a time. Even then, she often made mistakes.  
So instead, Loan preferred to select her favorite sound samples and hold down the keys for a nice sound.  
Loan had been there for ten minutes before she decided to take a shot again at trying a proper song. Twinkle Twinkle Little Star was the song she usually practiced with. Slowly, she played it, note-by-note. Still, one wrong note happened that made her a bit upset.

* * *

A door opened.  
"Hi, home rocker!"  
"Umm...hi, Luna!"  
"Having blues today, am I right?"  
Loan nodded. "I just can't play anything well. Also...why is your synthesizer wrong?"  
Luna raised an eyebrow "What do you mean?"  
"Listen!" Loan pressed two white keys so that there three white keys between them. A power chord was heard.  
"That's fine. This one..." She moved both fingers one key up. "...is also fine."  
Loan went through the keys until...  
"But this one..." Loan squeezed her eyes shut and tensed up as she pressed two keys. An unpleasant sound came out from the speakers.  
"AAAAH! Why does it do that?"  
Luna started laughing.  
"Pfft. Those two keys make a thing called a tritone. Hey! It's not so bad! Stop shaking. It's not like you killed someone by accident."  
"But...why does it do so?"  
"See?" Luna started counting a number of keys between pressed white keys, also taking black keys into account. "One, two, three, four, five, six, seven. However, here's it's one, two, three, four, five, six."  
"Stupid keyboard! Why do they make them like that?"  
Luna started laughing again.  
"I can get Lemy...'fix'...the keyboard later."

* * *

Luna had an idea.  
"Hey! Let me teach you a trick!"

"...?"  
"Press three to five random notes on the keyboard. No matter if black or white."  
Loan hesitated a bit.  
"Luna, are you sure this will work?"  
"Can't hurt to try. Wait...I press record. Now! Do your thing!"  
Loan tried pressing four random keys. It did not sound very harmonic. She tried again and again. Luna decided to lift her mood.  
"Wow! You're a jazz master! These are some pretty advanced chords."  
"Haha. Very funny."  
Still, Loan continued.  
"Great way to let stress out! Now press some more keys at the same time!"  
Loan put more her fingers on the keyboard.  
"You're doing polychords and tone clusters! That IS advanced stuff."  
"You're giving me too much credit".  
Loan continued with more force than before.  
"And now for the big finale! Press as many keys together as hard as you can!"  
Loan gathered her frustrations and banged on the keyboard as hard as she could a four times.

* * *

"Aaaand we're done!"  
Luna stopped recording.

"Feeling better?"

"Well, a bit!". Loan's facial expression confirmed that.  
"Let's see what came out. Aside from your frustrations of course."  
They listened to the recording while Loan looked down in embarrassment.  
"Stop it! Can't...bear...it!"  
Luna analyzed the chords in the meantime while Loan tried hard to not cover her ears.  
Luna started rewinding back and forth over different parts.  
"Hmm...I see what I can do."  
Luna memorized the chords. Loan watched as Luna grabbed one of her electric guitars, pressed 'play' on the recording again, and started doing solo improvisation over the chords.  
It did not sound bad at all. In fact, to Loan, her mess sounded very listenable now.  
"I...envy you."  
Once Luna was done, they listened to the result. Loan blushed.  
"I'm...going to my room now." and started to leave.  
"Okay! I'm gonna do some post-production. See ya later, underground musician!"  
As the door closed, Luna remained alone in the room. She started to add more touches to the piece she and Loan made. Luna also thought that maybe she should have started teaching Loan something simple. For example, playing Asian music.

* * *

Soon after post-processing and saving the result, Luna went to see Lincoln.  
"Yo, bro!"  
"What's up?"  
"I had a blast and Loan had a blast as well!"  
"Let me guess: it ended in disaster?"  
"Well...no. Well, it would have been. BUT..." Luna took out her tablet. "...I made that disaster into a self-imposed challenge. Listen!"  
Luna handed Lincoln headphones while the tablet showed the song title:  
"Mistakes into Miracles."  
"Our family history there!", commented Lincoln.


End file.
